Traded hot pants for hijab, i converted to Islam AMA

[user14943608381]

I’m going to be occupied with a cluster feeding newborn so thought an Ama would be fun. So, I used to drink, go clubbing, love mini skirts and dating but I gave it all up and became Muslim. For a little while I even wore the face veil.

Ask me anything!

I’m pretty clued up in theology and the sharia for feel free to ask me anything on that too! (Disclaimer though some opinions are my own and not the ‘majority consensus’)

Whereabouts do you live - is it quite a multicultural area?

Do you have many Muslim friends?

Do you still celebrate Christmas? What do you do for Eid?

What would you say are the top 3 things about being Muslim and what things do you find difficult to accept or dislike about the religion? Or if not the religion, the way it's practised here.

@Simonjt

As someone who was raised muslim (but is the worst muslim to exist 🤣), how do you personally stop the high levels of islamophobia in the UK getting you down?

Probably quite problematic but I benefit from white privilege as I’m not marked as Muslim by my name or skin colour so unless I dress a certain way I don’t experience it. But it does really piss me off the double standard of morality Muslims are held to, I try to be an ally and call it out when I see it

What kind of music do you listen to?

@BiscuitLover3678

Whereabouts do you live - is it quite a multicultural area?

Do you have many Muslim friends?

Very multi cultural, the epicentre some might say in the UK (not Bradford lol) you can probably guess.

Yes my dearest friends are Muslim but also converts.

It's sad you have given up the hijab. Its important. Please wear it again sis.

Who is in your friendship circles? Old friends who you've known since before you converted? Fellow conveets/People born Muslim? Do you have males friends?

@BiscuitLover3678

What would you say are the top 3 things about being Muslim and what things do you find difficult to accept or dislike about the religion? Or if not the religion, the way it's practised here.

The top 3, reminding me to forgive (I can hold a grudge, i need to be reminded of that), that god has a plan for me even when it doesn’t feel like it, that we are being tested with our wealth, health and everything else we’ve been blessed with.

I intensely dislike the misogyny that masquerades as Islam, i could go on and on. There are also a few cultures that have some really toxic aspects that have seeped into religion so people thing they are Islamic things. Theologically I struggle with the wisdom that says a woman’s testimony in court is worth less than a man. I can’t see the wisdom there. I also hate the mentality that exists and has been created by the Saudi wahabi school of thought that you can’t question anything

@PopsicleHustler

It's sad you have given up the hijab. Its important. Please wear it again sis.

This is not helpful. Not just for me, but for any non Muslim reading this thread. It’s reducing my faith just to an item of clothing.

I don't want this to come out all arsey so apologies if it does, but you can see why women get a bit confused about Islam when you literally have a woman on a thread telling off another believer about not doing the religion right by not wearing certain things, while the OP is at pains to say she can wear what she likes, she just chooses to dress 'modestly'.

To be fair, I guess that's akin to my granny telling my mum off for wearing a mini skirt back in the day... but it still will make many women pause.

@AdaFuckingShelby

Who is in your friendship circles? Old friends who you've known since before you converted? Fellow conveets/People born Muslim? Do you have males friends?

I have different social circles, mainly they consist of one or two individuals now as I’ve drifted from friends. I feel the biggest change in my friends has been having kids rather than changing religion. I’m a live and let live person so I don’t preach or anything. My closest friends and the ones who I feel most comfortable with are fellow converts.

I used to have male friends but since finishing Uni we’ve drifted. I joke around with my husbands friends and socialise with them from time to time but I wouldn’t say they are my friends, but I do have their numbers. I’ve been wfh since 2020 too so I’m not really close to any of my male colleagues like I was in old roles but we’d zoom to just chat but I’ve not met up 1:1 with them

To non-Muslim feminists there appear to be many double standards in the way Muslim men & women are expected to dress & behave, eg hair covering, marrying non Muslims, praying separately, requirement for male chaperones in certain situations. As a convert, how comfortable are you with these things?

@GoGoGretaDoll

I don't want this to come out all arsey so apologies if it does, but you can see why women get a bit confused about Islam when you literally have a woman on a thread telling off another believer about not doing the religion right by not wearing certain things, while the OP is at pains to say she can wear what she likes, she just chooses to dress 'modestly'.

To be fair, I guess that's akin to my granny telling my mum off for wearing a mini skirt back in the day... but it still will make many women pause.

Agreed! It’s rife unfortunately.

4/5 converts leave Islam and stuff like that can’t help

Why can't you go out dancing?

@PlanetNormal

To non-Muslim feminists there appear to be many double standards in the way Muslim men & women are expected to dress & behave, eg hair covering, marrying non Muslims, praying separately, requirement for male chaperones in certain situations. As a convert, how comfortable are you with these things?

I’m a massive feminist and I can see that, but I truly believe it’s the rhetoric around these things rather than things themselves.

I can tell you how I think of them, headscarf and modesty, a really powerful statement in a world where womens bodies are commodities. The statement is no my value isn’t in my body, i will not be reduced to the size of my butt or breasts or dress size, or reduced to the stereotype of a ‘hot woman’. I’m taking all of that of the equation, forcing people to value my other characteristics.

Men are meant to dress modestly too but it’s no where near as enforced culturally speaking. Misogyny masking as religion again

Tbh I think if you’re committed to your religion you won’t marry outside of it because frankly you have v little in common

Women pray behind or separate, behind because you pray really close and it requires bending over, i wouldn’t feel too comfy bending over really close to men. Separate is nice because it’s a woman and children only space, you can go to chill, read and breastfeed your kids so it’s really relaxing.

Chaperones for meeting a potential spouse? This is primarily for safety, they don’t have to be glued to your side

@Swisscheeseleaves

What kind of music do you listen to?

Depends, sometimes nasheeds (religious songs) others your classic radio tunes, i like french music too

@BiscuitLover3678

Do you still celebrate Christmas? What do you do for Eid?

X mas, since living alone I’ve never put a tree up or hung decor. But I used to see my parents at x mas and exchange gifts and eat dinner, it would have broken them if I didn’t.

Since having kids I want to make eid special so I’m thinking of doing day trips. But DH’s family basically do family meals, i was always left out or gossiped about so I stopped going so id largely spend it alone

I'm so sorry, are dh family not supportive? :(

With Eid do you decorate and do presents? What kind of food is typical?

So to answer the why:

I was like most of the cultural Christians in the UK, didn’t really devote much thought to it, but loosely identified as a Christian

So I mentioned I took some classes on gender and Islam. I found the feminist stance on Islam super empowering and read more into it. The reading made me think about what I believed or didn’t. I booked a chat with a Catholic priest and a vicar to chat over what I believed and if it was compatible with Christianity, it was not. I don’t believe in the trinity or that Jesus died on the cross. I also think the bible supports this - don’t come for me. So I thought about being a Unitarian Christian but then there was loads of things about Islam I found heartwarming. And then I thought about Muhammad, and I just kept thinking why would someone lie and go through all that he did if it was all a hoax. And I found I believed

i was always left out or gossiped about so I stopped going so id largely spend it alone

Where was your husband and your children?

@BiscuitLover3678

I'm so sorry, are dh family not supportive? :(

With Eid do you decorate and do presents? What kind of food is typical?

So my kids are super young 2 and new lol, but we did get some decor for eid al fitr this year, my dad died on al adha so didn’t do anything for that. I get presents for my daughter too, people tend to give cash more than gifts though.

I’m normally alone so just eat whatever lol. Not sure what food we’ll have next year, probably DD’s favourites to try and make it special for her

@FrownedUpon

Why would you commit to a faith in which women are treated so poorly? Did you previously feel that you didn't really belong to society or did you have low self esteem? Are these the reasons you converted? Will you be raising any daughters you have to believe they are inferior to males? Why would you do this? Are you comfortable knowing that any daughters you have must marry a Muslim, but your sons can marry who they want?

@frownedupon. That is a stereotype you are referring to. I am not religious but I have dated many Muslim men and I can say that I have been treated equally and with the utmost respect. I have dated men of all faiths and nationality in my time and I can say hand on heart I've felt the most respected and valued by a Muslim man.

As you were raised Christian and are now Muslim, is there any difference between allah/god in terms of wrath/forgiveness?

I can tell you how I think of them, headscarf and modesty, a really powerful statement in a world where womens bodies are commodities.

Not really.

A headscarf commodifies a woman's body just as much as hot pants.

If you believe a woman's body needs to be covered in special ways that are never applied to men, you are reducing her to a sexual object just as much as by exposing skin. It is a declaration of objectification - this female body is so dangerous and incapable of being regarded as anything but a sexual object that it must be covered up in order to be treated as a man would be. Of course it is still treating women's bodies as commodities if you think the only way someone can focus on a woman's personality/humanity is if she is covered up.

That's why you had certain men hitting on you and being inappropriate when you covered up. It's a documented phenomenon - for instance, studies on sexual harassment perpetrated against women in Egypt.

The only way women stop being commodities is if we stop considering women's dress to be relevant to their "modesty" or sexual "availability" or right to be treated with basic respect.

Veiling women pre-dates Islam anyway and was appropriated. It's always been about male control, however people try to spin it to reconcile their internal conflict about it.