My ex partner is a big time drug dealer

[ebsmahogany]

NC of course.

This was before I had my DC. He has a daughter who we had the majority of the time.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

She's not involved in that lifestyle at all and only was because of her son.

And because of the profit she made from it.

That poor little girl.

Yes, she deserves so much better.

We're so lucky that she is turning out so well. I'm really not sure how it's going to work when her dad is out of prison.

@cheesecrack

Nothing to add but fair play for doing AMA on here.

I always hope (when I read these) that other people can stumble across them and take heed from the messages.

Best of luck to you OP.

Thank you, I hope so too.

I appreciate your time with answering the questions op, very much appreciated

What’s your life like now (materially) in comparison?

@QuiteGood

What’s your life like now (materially) in comparison?

Much more modest. I live in a two bed new build with my son, but I rent. My current car cost about a fifth of the car I drove when he and I were together.

I don't own anything designer, when before I couldn't get enough of it.

Did he pay any tax on the takeaways? I've always thought they must be a goldmine for business owners, as everyone pays in cash.

Were you scared of him?

@HollowTalk

Did he pay any tax on the takeaways? I've always thought they must be a goldmine for business owners, as everyone pays in cash.

Yes, they were all legitimate in every way except the fact they were being used to clean money. Everything else was done properly/by the book. They were starting to generate a good amount of cash before he got caught.

@Ginger1982

Were you scared of him?

No, I wasn't scared of him at all.

I was more scared about what he may do to somebody else. He would fight a lot and I felt like he was capable of really hurting someone.

Do you know what the ''drug route'' was? Did it mostly come from South America, Caribbean or Afghanistan ? How did it all get into the country - was it smuggled in by private boats ? Cocaine is supposed to be mostly from Afghanistan and a main source of income there.

Sorry - heroin is from poppies in Afghanistan!

How old was/is your son? Did it impact him? Do you worry he will fall into the same lifestyle when he grows up?

@tara66

Do you know what the ''drug route'' was? Did it mostly come from South America, Caribbean or Afghanistan ? How did it all get into the country - was it smuggled in by private boats ? Cocaine is supposed to be mostly from Afghanistan and a main source of income there.

It got here on boats and lorries mostly, I don't know a lot about this side. My ex didn't smuggle drugs over here directly, he would buy it from the gangs that actually organised all the smuggling.

You're right, a lot of heroin here is from Afghanistan and I know that Turkey was another place they would bring it over from too. I only heard of the cocaine coming from South America, I don't know if they would get it from other places too.

Almost the weed was grown in the UK, small quantities would be smuggled over from the Netherlands sometimes.

@myneighboursarerude

How old was/is your son? Did it impact him? Do you worry he will fall into the same lifestyle when he grows up?

My son is 2, he wasn't born when all of this was going on. I'm don't believe it will impact him as he grows up.

I hope I don't offend, but would you say you're attracted to 'bad boys'?

Have precious partners been a bit naughty?

*previous!

@OldAndWornOut

I hope I don't offend, but would you say you're attracted to 'bad boys'?

Have precious partners been a bit naughty?

Yes, I definitely am attracted to "bad boys" and always have been. I still am and wish I wasn't. I know to stay well away now and it's something I'm working on, I thought I'd grow out of it but I haven't.

The fact he was a drug dealer made me more attracted to him.

Have you dated anyone else involved in drugs or other crime since him?

Is he your ds father ?

How old were you when you were in a relationship? Was there an age gap?

Clearly his 'career' wasn't that successful if he ended up in prison.

The drug trade is largely responsible for the escalating murder rate of young males in this country. Drug gangs are the scourge of society. Will you pass this message onto to your children, OP?

How many young people's lives do you estimate your 'boyfriend' ruined, OP? how many murders is he responsible for?

Some of these messages seem really hostile. Life happens, not everyone makes perfect choices. People can reflect on mistakes, learn from them and make changes, as the OP clearly is. Everyone deserves another chance in life and don't need to be repeatedly bashed for things that have happened in the past.

OP, you don't need to spend the rest of your life apologising for this, nor holding on to guilt that is essentially useless. I admire how much you have reflected on your own weaknesses, are able to own them and work to try and move on from them. Good for you. I wish you and your children happiness and new beginnings

I'm not sure if this is a question to all the posters or a reflection.

Why is it that if someone posted 'I am the other woman AMA', they would (and have been) torn a new one, but someone comes on and talks about knowingly being in a relationship with a drug dealer and all this entails, who had a daughter who was witness to it, and that they enjoyed the lifestyle and this person gets lots of salacious questions?