My ex partner is a big time drug dealer

[ebsmahogany]

NC of course.

This was before I had my DC. He has a daughter who we had the majority of the time.

Did you feel frightened all the time that it would all collapse (he'd be caught) or he (or you) would be murdered?

I presume to get large quantities of the product he was selling he would off needed someone that supplied him with the product which I then presume he would of had people that refined the products ready for distribution with the foot soldiers so to speak, however to begin with how or what methods did he use too keep all this under the radar from the authorities, eg using burner phones, ect

I hope we're allowed more than one question.

How did you feel when he was arrested? How did you cope with that level of upheaval in your life?

Admit I'm disgusted, but I think you are brave doing an AMA. How do you plan to keep your dc away from this environment? Is he your dc's dad?

@ScreamingBeans

Did you feel frightened all the time that it would all collapse (he'd be caught) or he (or you) would be murdered?

I was frightened that it would collapse, any knock on the door set me on edge. I was never afraid we were going to get killed until the final few months.

Did you not worry about reprisals etc aimed at his daughter? I would have thought that him being willing to put her at risk by living with you two the majority of the time would have made him too unattractive to be with, even if the moralities of what your lifestyle came from weren't.

Did he have security with him all the time or was he a rung down from that?

Agree with others, while it's shocking it's brave of you to do an AMA and answer honestly so thank you for doing that.

@Hawkins001

I presume to get large quantities of the product he was selling he would off needed someone that supplied him with the product which I then presume he would of had people that refined the products ready for distribution with the foot soldiers so to speak, however to begin with how or what methods did he use too keep all this under the radar from the authorities, eg using burner phones, ect

To begin with, he would pay someone to transport him to pick up the drugs. He would then keep most of it at his house and then some at his mum's and then at friend's houses.

He would get it in large quantities and weigh it and bag it up himself, and then as he got bigger he would have people help him and then it ended up in people doing it for him completely.

He would use a "burner" phone but never called it that. He changed his number monthly. He would delete all his text messages, hide his phone and hide his drugs every night so that if he were to get raided, they hopefully wouldn't find anything.

At his mums? Jesus Christ. Putting her at risk of arrest, imprisonment or violence. What a cunt. Thank god he's out of your life. I assume she knew?

@ScreamingBeans

I hope we're allowed more than one question.

How did you feel when he was arrested? How did you cope with that level of upheaval in your life?

Ask as many as you like!

It was really traumatic, the months leading up to it were really rough and that was the final straw. I was losing my hair from the stress and lost a lot of weight (which was the least I deserved).

I knew it was coming so it wasn't a total shock, but hard to deal with. I felt devastated and scared, I wasn't sure what to do next. Even though I knew it would happen one day, it was way worse than I had imagined it to be.

He is also his daughter's only living parent so I spent a lot of time worrying about her.

@giantangryrooster

Admit I'm disgusted, but I think you are brave doing an AMA. How do you plan to keep your dc away from this environment? Is he your dc's dad?

I have absolutely nothing to do with that life anymore aside from his daughter and his mother. He isn't the father of my DC.

Were you there when he was shot?

How did you know it was about to end?

What happened to the house you were living in?

Is he angry that you haven’t stuck by him in prison?

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Did you not worry about reprisals etc aimed at his daughter? I would have thought that him being willing to put her at risk by living with you two the majority of the time would have made him too unattractive to be with, even if the moralities of what your lifestyle came from weren't.

Did he have security with him all the time or was he a rung down from that?

Agree with others, while it's shocking it's brave of you to do an AMA and answer honestly so thank you for doing that.

I used to, but not anymore. I've never heard of anyone we knew having their children hurt. It was unfair on her, definitely, but he was a good father in many other ways. I know that doesn't make up for it though.

He was very rarely alone and when he was, he would have a weapon. He didnt have security with him all the time but did pay one person (a friend) who I guess you could call a security guard, his main job was to keep us (mainly him) safe

@youvegottenminuteslynn

At his mums? Jesus Christ. Putting her at risk of arrest, imprisonment or violence. What a cunt. Thank god he's out of your life. I assume she knew?

Yes she knew. She profited from it.

@arggghhhhh

Were you there when he was shot?

I wasn't, he was with his best friend in a car park.

It's one of the worst phone calls I've ever had to receive. I was at the hospital within a couple of hours if it happening but wasn't allowed to be with him for ages.

Yes she knew. She profited from it.

Are you still in touch with her?

And is she still involved in that lifestyle?

And finally did she become guardian of the little girl when he went inside?

Sorry so many questions it's really interesting!

How long is he in prison for ? And why do you think he'll go back to it afterwards?
This maybe a obvious question but why a drug dealer is it just purely greed to have a nice life but doing very little and obviously illegal.
Surly there are easier ways to have a nicer life , maybe that's me being naive but I'm just curious why ? .
Also honestly in the beginning did you enjoy the nice lifestyle?

Just wondering....What length sentence did he get? And what charges was he convicted? Have you/he has to pay anything back under the ‘immoral earnings’ legislation?? Thanks

@MyDiamondShoesAreTooTight

How did you know it was about to end?

What happened to the house you were living in?

Is he angry that you haven’t stuck by him in prison?

Do you mean the relationship or how did I know he was going to get caught?

The house was confiscated by because it was obtained through unlawful conduct.

He isn't angry, he was really upset but he understands. He says that he would give up that life for me but I know he never truly will. I would have stuck by him if I knew he was going to come out and be a good person and walk away from all of that. We ended on good terms.

....follow up question too please....do you think or k ow if he has a secret stash for when he gets out? Off shore accounts, security inbox somewhere or maybe friends looking after funds for when he’s released?
Thank you for answering these questions.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Yes she knew. She profited from it.

Are you still in touch with her?

And is she still involved in that lifestyle?

And finally did she become guardian of the little girl when he went inside?

Sorry so many questions it's really interesting!

I'm still in touch with her as I still regularly see his daughter, she is her guardian. She's not involved in that lifestyle at all and only was because of her son. She works full time now, before she was working part time because her son was funding almost everything for her.

She's not involved in that lifestyle at all and only was because of her son.

And because of the profit she made from it.

That poor little girl.

Nothing to add but fair play for doing AMA on here.

I always hope (when I read these) that other people can stumble across them and take heed from the messages.

Best of luck to you OP.

@islockdownoveryet

How long is he in prison for ? And why do you think he'll go back to it afterwards? This maybe a obvious question but why a drug dealer is it just purely greed to have a nice life but doing very little and obviously illegal. Surly there are easier ways to have a nicer life , maybe that's me being naive but I'm just curious why ? . Also honestly in the beginning did you enjoy the nice lifestyle?

He got eight years but will probably only serve half. I honestly couldn't tell you the charges, all along the lines of possession with intent to supply. Money laundering charges too and possession of weapons. He was actually very lucky he didn't get much longer, I know that police were pissed off that he didn't.

A lot of it is greed, but in the little bubble we were in he was the dog's. He liked being respected and scary and being that guy. It all went to his head and he loved basically being a local celebrity. Looking back now, it was really pathetic.

We also had total flexibility, we could do what we wanted when we wanted. There must be easier ways to have a nicer life.

Yes, honestly I did. I was counting my lucky stars. I couldn't get enough of the nice lifestyle.

@GiraffeWithSwag

Just wondering....What length sentence did he get? And what charges was he convicted? Have you/he has to pay anything back under the ‘immoral earnings’ legislation?? Thanks

Sorry, I didn't answer the last part.

Pretty much everything was taken, including the house and the cars.