I’m an alcoholic and my child is on a child protection plan AMA

[Pengola87]

Just that really

Good luck with rehab. I'm nearly 8 months sober and the 2 things that have helped me the most have already been mentioned on this thread. The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate. These books truly helped me to understand the nature of addiction and my alcohol dependence. My drinking had nothing to do with partying (although I sometimes did that) and everything to do with just coping/just being. Wishing you all the luck and courage.

Well done @Etinox ODAAT

We've had SS involvement, and some legal stuff

My life is not without its challenges, but it is so much better

No question but I really wish you the best of luck with rehab and hope you and your child have a bright happy future together

Does your DC find you passed out? Have you hit rock bottom ready for help.
Things are easier when you really want it.

I wish you all the best, i think your amazing for opening up on here..it shows that your determined x

AA member here, second or third zoom meetings. Feel free to pm for links OP

Wishing you all the luck in the world OP, at beating this. My Mum is currently in week 2 of rehab. An extremely bright woman, high powered job, family around her who love her, secure and comfortable life. Some childhood trauma came to a head this year and the decline into alcoholism was terrifyingly quick. She is a shell of who she once was and no amount of love or support can get her to stop, she has to want to do this for herself.

People who say 'why can't you just stop' or 'why aren't your children enough' are utterly clueless. It's so much more complex than that. I've seen my Mum in the grips of withdrawal and the hallucinations have never left her. I've seen her urge, sweat, convulse, reduced to nothing. It's heartbreaking.

It's also worth noting that there is no 'type'. Your mental health and fortunes can change in an instant. It can be your GP, your child's teacher, your friend at work, you would be surprised how many functioning alcoholics manage to hide it for so long. The Mum who unwinds with a bottle once the kids are in bed each night, who one day realises she can't go a day without that drink, or that one bottle turns to two. I've been so humbled by my own experience and I honestly wish you every success OP, I really do. I'm hoping my Mum beats it too.

My heart goes out to you I really do hope you and your daughter get a happy ever after 💐💐💐

Good luck!! You know you have it in you to do it. I’m sure you have happier times with your child ahead xxxx

I think there is something ‘in me’ that has a destructive/addictive trait which has been there since childhood this is unlikely, it is more likely that there were experiences which affected how you learned to deal with things, and I think the pp who recommended the book The Body Holds the Score is right, and though it will be painful you can pull through, it will be so worth it for you. You can process things now from the past and learn new ways of dealing with things. EMDR therapy is supposed to be very good for trauma. I hope that your rehab includes a detox with medication for you. Bon courage as they say in France

Exactly. I was of the opinion that social services are there to help and work with the family but my experience has been the opposite

I've heard this a lot from women in your situation. Social services have a conflicted role, at the end of the day it's about child protection. You definitely need some support that's about your hopes and aspirations. There are some great charities though it's patchy.

I was mostly a social drinker, but went out a lot so it was definitely problematic, but I don't drink at all now. I don't miss it a bit. I definitely don't miss the hangovers, but I actually feel that I'm more myself without the constant chaos and I've returned more to the person I was as a child, maybe more my true self. Life after giving up is so much better, I think you'll find pretty much everyone who's given up saying that. It's definitely calmer!

No questions I just want to wish you well.

No question but wanted to wish you all the best. You can do this.

I just want to wish you all the best with this, as someone who stopped drinking three years ago and then just gave up smoking a couple of months after a heavy habit of 45 years. I know how hard it can seem but oddly enough when you finally do it, it is easier than you think. Just keep remembering that the alcohol is not bringing anything good to your life.

Oh Pengola, my heart goes out to you. I do understand the need to blot things out, unfortunately alcohol is a depressant so you soon end up in a vicious cycle. Your liver will suffer too and you will perhaps have accidents.

You know you can give it up but the determination has to come from within you.

I'm glad your daughter is safe with your family at the moment. All she needs to know is mum is ill.

If you are paying for rehab at the moment, I do hope you get some decent help. I can't see keeping a drinking diary as being much but it is a start if it helps you control your intake.

Please ensure you eat well and drink plenty of fluid other than the booze.

There are levels of bipolar but I know there's a strong link between bipolar and alcoholism.

All the very best to you.

smartrecovery.org.uk/online-meetings/

Scotsllb I'm so sorry for what you are going through and I hope things work out somehow. Alcohol is everywhere, on the tv (all the soaps need a pub), all inclusive holidays, freshers week. You are often classed as an outsider if you don't want a glass of wine.

No questions, but good luck. Be one of the ones that make it

There are a lot of people experiencing this like you, OP.
Just coping.
Take care - stick with it. Don't give up on yourself

Wishing you well Op. my dad was on drugs for years. He chose drugs over us, I forgave him. He spent 8 months in rehab. He’s been clean for 12 years. He says it’s always there, he always thinks about it. I really hope you get the support you need Op, for the people who think Op can just stop. It’s not that simple. You can’t just stop and when you stop, you can just relapse. It’s with you for life.

Good luck op x

@PotteringAlong

If you know you will loose her if you don’t stop drinking, and you have only been drinking at a level considered problematic to social services for 8 weeks, then why not just stop? Why is that not enough?

As the daughter (granddaughter and niece - yeah it's a family thing) of an alcoholic - this is not how addiction works.

@Pengola87 thanks for your reply. I’m routing for you. You CAN do this, the fact you’re owning your problems is the hugest clue. Keep looking forwards. I hope yours and your child’s life is all you hoped for x

(((Hug)))

How much help have you had with the traumatic experience at school?

Was the person held accountable?

Where were your parents when you were working in a lasagne parlour as a teenager?

They kicked you out of rehab at 22 because you were pregnant? JFC they should have been helping you, not punishing you. I can't imagine you were really in a fit state to give consent properly. Was the bloke held accountable? Please tell me he wasn't 'staff'.

You need to do your best to make rehab work for you, you need to make use of every single 'session' you can get. Then when you get out, get more counselling.

This, I suspect, is about healing from trauma & abuse 🌷

I'm confused now, do you have a daughter or a son? Your child needs to be 'personal' & it's not outing, it's really not .

((Hug)). I'm very sad for your 17 year old self who needs help here

I'm rooting for you op from one alcoholic to another.

Very much sober now (you know yourself how that feels)

My question how do you feel your health is? I know my brain was affected, I could feel it.

I feel for you I really do!! There is NO help for addiction problems unless you have thousands to pay for private rehab. I have not much to offer to help but I am here to listen..

I have a good friend who’s brother is an alcoholic and my ex was a recovered alcoholic (15 years sober). He got sorted before I met him, but did it alone/cold turkey when he had a bad scare/hospital admission. I don’t advise that as it can be very dangerous. But he often talked about the lack of help and the struggles of socialising even once you manage to get dry..

I hope you get some good advise on here xxx