I'm a Quaker AMA

[QuakerAMA]

I'm a member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers). I'm British, so if I say "Quakers believe ...", I'll mean British Quakers. Quakers across the world can be very different, so do bear that in mind if you're in another country.

AMA.

@Noteventhebestdrummer

I'm a fruit. If you peel me you find a Quaker! Do you know which fruit I am?

That's one I don't know!

@Dilbertian

Do Quakers do laying-on of hands? I don't know what else to call it. Many years ago I used to go with DM to a healing session at a Meeting House. She was desperate for help with chronic pain, and took me along for moral support as she felt very anxious about going into a Christian place. But there was nothing churchy or at all religious about it. People who felt the need for healing sat in chairs, and people who felt able to help stood at the chairs and...I don't really know... shared energy? Minimal speaking. I don't remember how it was organised, how healer and seeker were paired up.

Would that have been a Quaker thing, or a room let to a separate group?

Hmm. The only thing I can think of that's vaguely similar to this is the Friends Fellowship of Healing, which is not something I've ever been part of personally. I looked up their details on their website though and they don't mention anything about laying on of hands - they sound more like a prayer circle. So my guess would be that it was another group using the space. Meeting Houses generally do do a lot of lettings to outside groups.

[quote PracticalMagic111]@QuakerAMA
Thank you so much for this thread, it is incredibly interesting and from what I have read so far I would be very interested in learning more about becoming a Quaker. There seems to be a lot of peace and kindness, which I think is very important.

I am not practising any religion at the moment, but I am interested in learning about different religions and beliefs as I think most have a lot of positive attributes and I like how it brings peace and comfort to followers.
I was raised Catholic and I am respectful of the religion but I was never drawn to the beliefs. However, recently I have become very drawn to Buddhism, which I think Quakerism is very similar to. I like the simplicity and the emphasis of practicing kindness to yourself and others in daily life.

One question I would like to ask is what is the viewpoint of animals. Is respect to Animals a big concept in Quakerism or is there not much emphasis on this?
I ask this as I personally think we are all equal and everything and everyone should be treated with respect. I think this is why I am drawn so much to Buddhism.
Sorry if this questions lacks clarity. And thank you again for all you information so far.
Also your wedding day sounds like it was so beautiful![/quote]
Thank you! I loved my wedding.

Respect to animals isn't central to Quakerism, the way it is to Bhuddists. But there are a lot of vegetarians and vegans amongst Quakers, though some of those are for environmental reasons. (I'm a meat-eater).

Advices and Queries says:

We do not own the world, and its riches are not ours to dispose of at will. Show a loving consideration for all creatures, and seek to maintain the beauty and variety of the world. Work to ensure that our increasing power over nature is used responsibly, with reverence for life. Rejoice in the splendour of God’s continuing creation.

@QuakerAMA
Thank you so much for your reply :)

The Advice and queries sounds like the song colours of the wind from Pochahontas- this is a good thing by the way, I mean no offence when I say this :) I think it shows how if we just take from the earth that we must do so with respect and minimilsim.
The more I find out about Quakerism the more I am drawn to it. I am so grateful for your openness about this religion, it sounds such a lovely religion to be part of.

My mum is in a care facility. She is paralysed down one side after a stroke, is alcohol dependent and can be very difficult. I live a distance away so can't visit often.

But the local Quaker meeting house has been a lifeline for our entire family. One of the members visited her care home randomly, and chatted to my mum (who is very intelligent and interesting to talk to). My maternal grandfather was a conscientious objector who was always interested in the Quakers, so my mum was interested to talk to her.

Basically the congregation have, if not adopted her (because they're never say that as they'd see it as patronising I'm sure) they have certainly taken on a kind of responsibly for her welfare. She goes to meeting as often as possible (they even paid for a disability taxi for a while) and it's the only time she leaves the home. They visit her regularly, and though they are only too aware of her quirks and faults, they are always entirely positive about her, and also supportive of us.

I could not speak more highly of them. They are invaluable to my brother and I, and have brought companionship and purpose to my mum. So though I'm confident you do not belong to her meeting, I'd still like to thank you. I think Quakers are amazing. Just the best people.

What a wonderful thread. Thank you! We moved close to a meeting house. I've contacted them and ordered some reading!

Hi Friend 🌺🌱🪑🕯🪑🌱🌸 good to meet you.

Getting up in time for Sunday morning worship was a bit beyond me!

Do Quakers worship?

My academic mentor (a philosopher) turned to Quakerism in her last years. She had survived a very brutal systemic cancer, but her chemotherapy treatment destroyed to a great degree the sharpness and acuity of her thinking which was incredibly painful for her and hard to come to terms with. She was for a time quite bitter and lost without the ability to write. She became very much more at peace thanks to her Quaker practice and the support of her community of Friends. When the cancer returned and finally took her, I, an atheist with quite a lot of cynicism about the dogmatic elements of religion, found her Quaker funeral to be one of the most beautiful, powerful, spiritual, and humbling experiences of my life, though it was also heartbreaking. I have felt nothing but respect and awe for Quakers ever since. (If I am honest, I feel that I am not quite equal to Quakerism. I am too materialistic and I do care about my title.)

Thanks for a wonderful, thread OP, full of the wisdom and kindness I associate with Quakerism and so informative.

@Neome

Hi Friend 🌺🌱🪑🕯🪑🌱🌸 good to meet you.

Good to meet you too, Friend.

@LaureBerthaud

Getting up in time for Sunday morning worship was a bit beyond me!

Do Quakers worship?

Yes. A Quaker Meeting is more properly known as a Meeting for Worship. Quakers talk about a 'worshipful waiting' or a 'worshipful silence'. What that means will vary from Quaker to Quaker, and I'm not sure I would have chosen the word worship to describe what I do in Meeting, but many - I think most - Friends absolutely would.

I've just stumbled on this thread and read through it all - it's really interesting, thank you for taking the time OP. My question is about equality between the sexes - I tend to think that most religion is misogynistic and controlling of women (but then I was brought up Catholic so, ya' know...)

I know Quakerism is designed to be very equal in theory, but what is it like in practice please?

What's the relationship between Quakers and porridge oats?

Am I correct in thinking Quaker furniture is quite "functional" - you referred to Puritan believers earlier. Is that style followed by "modern" Quakers?

This is really interesting OP thanks.

I must admit though, I don't quite get the idea of a religion where you don't have to believe in god. That's what a religion is, isn't it? An idea of which god/s are real, and the best way to worship them?

I see that you compared it to how there are non practising Christians or cultural Jews. But that's a bit different, isn't it? In those religions, non practising people and people of other religions/no religion are accepted, in the sense that they aren't shunned and are supposed to be treated equally. They aren't accepted in the sense that their religious views are considered equally true and valid.

I hope this doesn't sound rude, I'm genuinely curious.

Hi LonnyVonnyWilsonFricket your question prompted me to dig this out

“Richard Farnworth (1625-1666) published the first written defence of women’s preaching by a Quaker in 1654. This established, using scriptural evidence, the spiritual equality of women. Farnworth’s pamphlet was followed by others, most famously Margaret Fell’s “Women speaking justified, proved and allowed of by the Scriptures” in 1666.“

The first bit of inequality being challenged was women not being allowed to speak in church and this was all about spiritual equality.

RaisinGhost early Friends believed strongly that each of us has access to ‘the divine’, whatever you understand that to be, as opposed to the idea in church at that time that only priests ie ordained people in a particular tradition, could perceive, interpret and convey divine inspiration to ‘lay’ people. Some people have described Friends as ‘doing away with the laity’. What this adds up to is not requiring people to sign up to particular expressions of faith but a more demanding standard really of looking within, listening to your own inner truth, testing it with your community, living by it.

Clearly lots of churches have changed their thinking and practices over the centuries!

Quakers aren’t immune from sexism and clinging to outdated forms of words. I love the George Fox quotation “Walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in everyone” which I take to mean communicating with people authentically and being a good listener (which I’m not really which is one reason I need to be a Quaker!).

I look forward to the OPs views.

I was raised a Quaker. All I remember is thoroughly dull meetings sitting in silence as a child. I used to plan out my imaginary mansion that I would have when I grew up. Not really in he spirit of Quaker asceticism 😀

It sounds really fascinating OP, I am enjoying reading this thread!

I bet the shetland couple were my mum and dad!! Its the kind of thing they do for newcomers to meeting in shetland. This thread is so interesting I was bought up as a quaker but never carried it on and only was willing to go to meetings as a teenager so I could go to quaker summer school! This thread has opened my eyes up more to quakerism and I feel its something I may want to revisit. Thank you!

I don't know if this thread is still 'live' but I was wondering about Quaker attitudes to raising children.

Obviously every family will make their own choices but is there any guidance or choices/styles that are popular even if not official?

I was thinking about your comments re finding the good/God in everyone and wondering if that translates to a 'gentle parenting' style and whether historically there was less authoritarian parenting (even when that was common/encouraged in the mainstream)?

Hello Buzzing54. In my experience lots of Quakers have been involved in working with children in a therapeutic way or as teachers, pioneering different ways to help children with difficult situations or being foster parents for example. A sizeable group within Quakers might say they have a particular interest or ‘concern’ relating to children.

Michael Rutter is one example, he’s a Quaker who had quite an influence on thinking about children and their needs growing up.

There’s a strand of philosophy within Quakerism which sees children as people with a contribution to make to a Quaker Meeting and about gentle or respectful parenting. I think it’s like a lot of ideals, if you aim for it you may well fall short or overdo it! I know there are lots of people who grew up in Quaker families who don’t think their parents got things perfectly right.

I think I did a lot better as a young parent because I was trying to counteract my own unhelpful attitudes and patterns, I was doing it from a ground of Quaker belief and practice. I had somewhat difficult circumstances and childhood experiences and the support of my Quaker meeting was a big help.

I found Michael Rutter did an interview on The Life Scientific which I’m going to listen to - here’s the link.

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/b04581j9

It’s helpful to me to reflect on this because I am now an older parent of a child with additional needs and it’s a different challenge working out what the best way to parent him is in the circumstances we are all facing in the pandemic.

For balance I feel I should acknowledge that historically and nowadays too having high ideals can definitely lead to less than ideal parenting and as you can see from this thread there’s huge variety in belief and practice within Quakerism.

Just my experience friend 😀

@Neome thank you, that's really interesting. I'll take a look (listen!) at the link too

I first properly read about Quakerism in Oliver Postgate's (creator of Bagpuss, Clangers etc) autobiography. If I were to join any religion, I think it would be them.

...each of us has access to ‘the divine’, whatever you understand that to be...What this adds up to is not requiring people to sign up to particular expressions of faith but a more demanding standard really of looking within, listening to your own inner truth, testing it with your community, living by it.

That speaks to me