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AMA

I am Jewish AMA

857 replies

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 13:05

Following answering some Q&As on a thread about the programme Unorthodox thought i'd do an AMA here. I have looked and don't think there's been one since like 2018.

I am a traditional/modern orthodox Jew so not Hasidic like the show but I actually do talks on Judaism as part of my job and I so my knowledge is fairly good and I am rarely embarrassed or offended by questions.

So go ahead AMA

OP posts:
Isitweekendyet · 05/05/2020 19:46

Thank you for answering my question, OP!

I find others' religions fascinating. You are very dedicated; I really admire those with faith.

Do you eat solely Kosher food?
Why are you not allowed to eat dairy and meat at the same time?
What makes food Kosher?
Are any fast food restaurants Kosher? What are you allowed to eat from them?

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 19:47

@Desiringonlychild not at the moment no as I recently got married and you don't have to pay for your first year and then second year is half price. However after that I think Borehamwood is around that price which is likely where I will move to eventually. Think that's for a family. I think Orthodox ones are more expensive but i am not entirely sure on that

OP posts:
Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 19:53

@Isitweekendyet thanks. I do a lot of presentations on Judaism as part of my work but currently can't do them due to the lock down. it's probably my fave part of my job so I do miss it and am really enjoying this!

Do you eat solely Kosher food?
I only eat kosher meat etc but I consider anything veggie to be fine (some people will only accept something that has been overseen by a specially trained person).

Why are you not allowed to eat dairy and meat at the same time? because the Torah says not to boil a kid in its mother's milk - the explanation I have had for this is that a mother's milk represents life and meat is the epitome of death (though I am sure everyone has a different explanation). Therefore to be sure we can't mix a child in it's mothers milk we just don't mix it at all to be very careful.

What makes food Kosher?
That it comes from a kosher animal if it is from an animal and is slaughtered in a certain way. That it has been seen and checked by a specially trained authority. There are other rules etc and stuff for they are too detailed to go into here and quite specific for certain food.

Are any fast food restaurants Kosher? What are you allowed to eat from them? Erm in North London there's lots of take out Schwarma (like a donner kebab) places and a couple of pizza places but not in the same realm as mcdonalds or burger king.

OP posts:
Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 19:54

@littlemeitslyn ooops sorry forgot to reply to that. I've only seen one episode. it was ok. The dinner part was accurate I guess but obviously very overdramatised!

OP posts:
Frokni · 05/05/2020 20:13

Great thread.
My questions: have you ever used a mikveh?/undertook Mikveh? Bathed in the post-period pool? When I looked into conversion I heard about it and thought it sounded like a wonderful interlude after a period. It's probably not though.

I also felt as though women are exceptionally supportive of each other in the Jewish community, is this accurate? Unorthodox (was wonderful) but I felt made the women appear very catty and unkind at times.

How often do you attend shul?
Thanks OP.

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 20:22

@frokni I haven't as yet. I was planning to go before I got married a few months ago but due to a really nasty ear infection I was told by the doctor not to and thanks to be BC I haven't needed it since. I may go in future I haven't decided yet. From what I hear it is a great experience and I probably will at some point.

As for women I think there are groups who are lovely and supportive and it's very set up to support new mothers etc but obv like any close knit community gossip spreads easily and people can get catty

OP posts:
OverZoomed · 05/05/2020 20:23

OP, in one of your answers you said “However, any law can be broken (bar three) if it is to save a life.” and it piqued my curiosity. What are those three laws, and why?

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 20:25

@Overzoomed the first two are obvious.

  1. Do not deny your g-d
  2. Do not commit murder
  3. Do not commit adultery (as its seen as the ultimate betrayal of someone's trust)
OP posts:
Fandoozle1 · 05/05/2020 20:33

Thank you for this thread OP. it's great to learn about Judaism.

PetraDelphiki · 05/05/2020 20:33

Can I just jump in on the history of anti-semitism...we went to Yad Vashem last year and they said a lot of it was from some catholic dictat that Jews were responsible for the death of Jesus and were therefore fair game (paraphrasing) - this was Middle Ages I believe. But it’s very very very ingrained in (particularly) middle Europe...there was an example of a game called “Jews out” that was sold to normal middle class people in the 1920s...and people bought it for their kids to play the way you or I would buy monopoly...Yad Vashem (Israeli Holocaust museum) is astonishing and worth a trip! All their stuff is online at the moment I think...

Pelleas · 05/05/2020 20:43

A really interesting thread, thank you.

Do women take any leading roles in worship in any of the types of Judaism - can there be female rabbis or equivalent?

buckeejit · 05/05/2020 20:55

Great thread thanks - couple of Qs

What if there was a situation where a mass murderer was killing lots of people & you were in a position to kill them to save lots of other lives?

Why do you write G-d? Is there a restriction on writing and/or saying it out with a ritual?

thanks

whenwillthemadnessend · 05/05/2020 21:04

What does shalom mean ?

What is the lovely bubbly bread they eat on Friday night dinner. It looks lush.

WeirdlyOdd · 05/05/2020 21:14

Thanks and sorry for the rambling question. That's useful to know especially re: the Israel issue.

To clarify, the writer had not experienced antisemitism in the UK, he'd imagined it for his novel, which I was supposed to check for accuracy. I wouldn't dream of telling him what his own experience had been, had he had one, but this was fictional.

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 21:31

@Pelleas in reform Judaism women can be rabbis but not in orthodox synagogues. However they can take on other leadership roles in the community and many do.

@buckeejit that's a very philosophical question and I think officially the answer is its not your place to decide. In reality I think realistically say save as many as possible.

I write g-d as you are not meant to take his name in vain and you can't destroy anything with his name written on it. Therefore we improvise.

@WHEnwillthemadnessend
Shalom means hello, goodbye and peace

The bread is called challah and is basically a sweet bread that has been plaited. It's delicious.

OP posts:
PikesPeaked · 05/05/2020 21:32

Hello! Another Jew here. Raised Modern Orthodox, moved over to Reform when I married out, because I wanted to join a community that would completely accept my dh.

My family were wig-makers in Poland for several generations, and my dgm told me that the shaving thing began because in the 16th century the Polish nobility practiced droit de seigneur, ie they could demand to sleep with any bride on her wedding night. So it became the practice among Jews in the little villages where they were vulnerable to the local squire's fancies, to shave the bride's head immediately after the ceremony in order to make her less attractive to the squire. But, to avoid humiliating her, she would also be given as realistic and beautiful a wig as possible.

Afterwards, she might let her hair grow again, and simply wear a scarf. But she rarely let her hair grow very long, because the wig would be uncomfortable over long hair. As a wig is a huge investment, she would have kept it for 'best'.

Covering one's head is considered a sign of modesty and of humbleness for both men and women in Judaism. On top of this, a woman's hair is considered sensual and beautiful, and should therefore only be seen by her husband once she is married. But that just leads to covering, not shaving.

Over the generations, a practice that evolved out of desperation became established norm, even when it was no longer necessary. Men decided that a married woman with long hair was immodest - even if her husband was the only man who saw it. Other women would see it and could be influenced.

Not all Orthodox women shave their heads, and not all wear wigs (though all cover outside the home and among unrelated men).

The religion being matrilineal also evolved out of response to abusive and misogynistic practices outside Hewish control. Originally Judaism was passed down the father's line, but after the Romans evicted the Jews from the Land of Israel in the 2nd century CE, Jews became very vulnerable with no homes or defences. Rape of women by outsiders became more common. Under these circumstances the identity and status of the father couldn't be known for sure, but you could be certain of the mother. In order to keep the children within the Jewish community, transmission of the religious status became matrilineal.

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 21:37

@PikesPeaked I've heard of the latter half about roman soldiers. I haven't heard the first part. That's really interesting. Thanks for teaching me too :)

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WeirdlyOdd · 05/05/2020 21:38

Wow, PikesPeaked, that is fascinating re: the wigs and being matrilineal.

IHateCoronavirus · 05/05/2020 21:38

That’s as fascinating as it is sad Pike history has seen terrible things happen to people.

Pickles89 · 05/05/2020 21:59

Hi OP, thanks for the thread, it's very interesting!

My question is, what's the point in circumcision? I'm not religious in any way but it seems strange to me that some of those who are believe they should remove part of the human body, as though God didn't design it properly so it needs amending. What's the reasoning behind it?

AngelaScandal · 05/05/2020 22:36

This thread is so interesting.
If Sacha Baron Cohen is a Cohen , how was it that he could marry Isla Fischer? Or is it less fixed than that? I remember reading his mother was not in favour of the marriage

genesey · 05/05/2020 22:45

Halal meat is slaughtered in a very similar fashion to the way you describe. From what I understand I think Muslims are allowed to eat kosher meat ( but not 100% so don't quote me on that!). Are you allowed to eat halal meat?

Microzilla · 05/05/2020 22:55

Another Jew checking in. Regarding Judaism being a religion/race. I always considered it was a religion. But some friends bought me an ancestry DNA kit and the results came back as 100% European Jewish. I was so surprised that Jewishness was something that could be found in DNA. I know my family back to my great grandparents were Russian Jews so the areas identified in the test results were expected but I truly didn’t expect any mention of religion.

On the synagogue membership fees, my DF made me laugh. He and my DM only had a membership to cover funeral costs because they were complete atheists despite both their families being Orthodox. My DF said they had coughed up that much money over the years for their burials that they should get a flipping pyramid. I hope he isn’t feeling too bad about the bog standard double plot he and DM are in.

Bells3032 · 05/05/2020 23:03

@Boscoismyspiritanimal I am afraid I don't know his Cohen status but given that she converted for marriage I assume she converted and married in a reform synagogue (you cannot convert for marriage in orthodox synagogues) who don't believe in that. His parents were probably not happy as she wasn't Jewish to start with anyway.

@genesey jews cannot eat halal. The area the neck can be cut is much more stringent in Judaism plus you can't guarentee it hasn't been in contact with other non kosher products like shellfish etc

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Desiringonlychild · 05/05/2020 23:13

@Bells3032 unless you are Ivanka Trump! She had an orthodox conversion. Maybe it's the media but they always made it seem she converted to marry Jared. But that is in the US, so completely different story. The London beit din is very strict with regard to conversions