I am Jewish AMA

[Bells3032]

Following answering some Q&As on a thread about the programme Unorthodox thought i'd do an AMA here. I have looked and don't think there's been one since like 2018.

I am a traditional/modern orthodox Jew so not Hasidic like the show but I actually do talks on Judaism as part of my job and I so my knowledge is fairly good and I am rarely embarrassed or offended by questions.

So go ahead AMA

@shylatte I'm orthodox. At home I uncover my hair because I'm more comfortable like that. Like taking your shoes off inside. Happy to be in pj's in house in the morning but once I'm dressed I won't change out of my tznius clothes to something more revealing because what would be the point? Also if someone came to the door it would be a pain to cover up. It's easy to throw a hat on quickly though.
I uncover my hair in front of women and my kids, in my house or in separate swimming /gym if I'm guaranteed privacy but there are varying degrees of observance with this.

@seekinglondonlife I observe nidda. After childbirth it was hard, although there is a lot of support after childbirth and hugs and cuddles from female friends and family so it is not like I was not getting any hugs. I think the flip side is that there was zero expectation or pressure to have sex until I was fully recovered because we both observe the rules of nidda. There is a minimum of several weeks post childbirth before mikva and it is generally a longer period. I am in control of when I go to mikva, not my husband, so I went when I was ready.

Post childbirth there is a lot of support from family and friends. Usually friends set up a meal rota for a couple of weeks. There are other community organisations you can apply to for help, and a lot of recent activism in recent years about awareness and support for post natal depression.
Large families are the norm, so large families means large networks of support; aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews all step in. And friends and colleagues play very active roles too.
One example I can think of is when my colleague had a baby away, the other teachers immediately made a rota to organise food for a week, including delivery etc.

What are Jewish cultural views on adultery?

I fell for a guy I met online. He lied to me and was, in fact, married. During his "confession", he told me that he'd cheated many times before, of which his wife had found out about three of them. He said they (more likely she) had "been through hell". But she stays in the marriage despite knowing that he still carrys on cheating (and she carrys on hating it).

He explained that in their society / circle, people "just dont divorce". But.... really??? Is this a religious thing, a social thing, a personal thing?? I dont understand why someone would stay with an unreformed serial cheater - is there a religious / societal aspect that I dont understand??

Context: I dont know the denomination, but he kept kosher and had Saturdays off work. No synagogue attendance. He was an investment banker with his own business interests. She hadnt worked in a decade and a half. 3 kids. Mid 40s. Hampstead. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I have a question and I hope it doesn't come across as disrespectful. A fair amount of 'shopping for pesach' videos are appearing on my YouTube feed, and they all talk about the price hike of food during time and how its very expensive. One was say a kosher for passover jar of mayo was €11! My question is do you not feel that Jewish companies (I'm assuming they are Jewish, the things are bought in a Jewish supermarket) are taking advantage of you? I'm sure they have extra costs in the more rigorous checking process but the prices seem so high and the women all talk about inflation during this time.

@almond123 very anti adultery. Regarding divorce, I don't know what community he is part of. I'm part of an ultra orthodox community and divorce is relatively common and adultery would very much be a reason to divorce. It is definitely harder as a single mum, although organisations have begun to spring up to support single mums as well. I think depending on your social circle or community there will probably be some stigma attached as well, which would make it harder for that lady.

No I don't think they are taking advantage. The costs to suppliers will be very high. Limited ingredients, some a lot more expensive, produced under very strict conditions, short production runs with intensive cleaning and preparing before etc. There's also a limited market which naturally drives prices up as you can't share increased costs.

Thanks for that @EllaDisenchanted