I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

[Sideris]

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

I felt I was a boy

I'm greatly mentally more comfortable now that I'm seen as a man

Feelings have no gender

Are you able to see the contradiction in what you have written?

People with a cervix is usually preferred

I find the term very offensive.

Why are your feelings about not wanting to be referred to as a woman more important than my feelings about not wanting to be referred to as a person with a cervix?

Would you want to be in a man's prison?

I genuinely can’t believe that governments all over the western world are changing fundamental laws left right and centre over this bullshit. I’ve never seen someone who is trans been able to explain what they feel that makes them the opposite gender but here we are.

that should have read men's prison!

I have a cervix and I do not prefer being referred to as a person with a cervix. I am a woman. If my cervix was removed would I then just be referred to as person?

Trans ideology is the new world religion.

violence against trans men is considerably higher in men's spaces.

How do you reconcile that with your view that there is no increased threat from having male born people in the female only spaces?

OP just a FYI, on mumsnet it’s generally considered a bit rude to @ people who are already on the thread. Just local etiquette.

Good god, the cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics here is terrifying. OP can you not see how much you are contradicting yourself?

It was killing me to be seen as a woman.
What was the part of being seen by others as female that made you suffer so? What was the discomfort that made you feel that it was wrong for you to be seen as a female person?

What people from the UK say folk or pap smear?

Thank you for answering my question.

I am afraid I do not understand why gender expectations are not related to being trans, though. The term is transgender - so you transition from one gender to another. What is gender then? It is not biological sex, it is societal and cultural expectations of how each biological sex should be (I just checked a dictionary to be sure). So transgender is from one set of social and cultural expectations to another; otherwise it would still be transsexual, as it used to be? I have just checked and google tells me it is from one gender identity or expression to another. So gender expression - how is that understood if not as societal expectations of gender otherwise it would just be how one is, no need to transition.

Sorry, I appreciate you answering my question but I am genuinely confused. I am all for dismantling gender expectations and the labelling of gender expressions, but it seems to me that transitioning from one gender expression to another and calling it male or female depending simply reinforces gender expectations.

Just smear or sometimes cervical smear. I only hear Americans say pap smear.

My mum on the other hand calls it a downstairs MOT

If you felt you were a boy, OP, how can you now say that feelings are gender less?

People with a cervix is usually preferred

By trans people you mean?

No actual woman prefers to be known as a “person with a cervix”.

A letter every 3 years is classed as 'harassment'

As @Mummyoflittledragon asked, what's your view on non trans people, just natal men, accessing previously women only spaces, abusing the sort of things you have fought for with your activism?

As you say, many trans people have used facilities by their chosen gender for many years, through the torelance and kindness of those who the sexed space is actually for. Now anyone can access these spaces: a man can come in the changing room in an open space next to me, not a trans woman to be clear, a bloke who is always a bloke, other than when claiming to be female to perve. Can you see how this causes a danger to women?

Pity, yes, it's an American term, as is folks.

I never decided to 'be trans', it's something that I am.

Yeah that's how we feel about being female too. I don't identify as a woman, I am an adult female, therefore a woman.

You feel very strongly you have a gender identity that is different to your sex. We feel very strongly that we don't have gender identities at all and all we have is a sex, a gender that was imposed on us from society and a personality.

Seems we're a bit stuck.

A compromise would be what has always been, you can call yourself what you like, wear what you like and we'll be polite and go along with it.
Why do you get to change laws to impose the ideology that gender is an innate reality when so so so many people are saying that this is not their experience and when that ideology so clearly harms women.
How can feminisms work if all a woman has to do is simply identify out of their oppression?
Do you think that's true? That a trans man no longer experiences sexism and a trans woman no longer has male privilege simply by identifying themselves as the opposite sex?

Thank you for answering my question.

”I personally don't care at all about biological sex. I can't change that I was born with a vagina or that it had me indicated as 'female'“

I do struggle to understand slightly though. If you accept that biological sex cannot literally change, and you also indicate that you believe traditional gender roles are irrelevant to gender and are happy doing some traditional feminine things and describe yourself as sometimes being feminine, why bother?

Why not just be the individual person you are, and embrace the fact that your biological sex and your personality and personal identity aren’t tied together, therefore you can and should be whoever you like?

I am female, but there are some stereotypical feminine traits characteristics roles I do identify with and others I strongly reject, and some traditionally male traits characteristics etc etc I feel more comfortable with. I have no idea what ‘gender’ that makes me or what label others might attach to that and o don’t care- I just get on with it tbh!

What I reject most strongly is pigeonholing people when it comes to something so unique and individual as how they feel and what they prefer/what’s in their head.

Sex is about biology, identity is about that unique individual. I believe that fighting against stereotypes is crucial, not embracing them and changing ourselves to fit them and I am pleased to hear you don’t embrace stereotypes but struggling to understand the point of a transition at all in your case.

hi OP

I have a few questions, hope that's all right!

1. You mentioned about changing rooms at work. What would you say to a man who felt uncomfortable with trans men in the space?

2. what do you think about people who request a specific sex of medical professional for certain things?

3. what would you think of (for example) a pharmacy who wouldn't give out contraceptives because of their religious views?

Thank you.

Sorry you're getting deliberately obtuse questions op

It was brave to post and you've replied very politely. Thanks for the interesting insight.

As you are against gender stereotypes OP, can you explain what you mean by being seen “as a man” or living “as a man”? If stereotypes are bullshit then how is there any real way to be seen or live “as a man” that is different from “as a woman”?

What people from the UK say folk or pap smear?

Or apartment, not flat. And many others.