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AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

999 replies

Sideris · 05/01/2020 07:10

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

OP posts:
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DodoPatrol · 06/01/2020 16:33

Without trawling back through the thread, I think the occasional 'she' did slip through the net - I know it's all too easy to do. Maybe, though, the OP is taking statements such as 'natal female' (which I'd take to be an essential part of the definition of 'transman') as misgendering too?

I do think it must be hard to keep talking with a semblance of calm when one's identity is very bound up in all this. Face to face, I suspect few of us would ask half these questions, out of politeness and a wish not to hurt feelings, so it must also be perturbing to realise how few people genuinely believe that words change one's sex or gender.

Sideris · 06/01/2020 16:34

Page 11

sorry - what has? opting out of your biological-sex based checks? but that's what you want? you've said (I think) that you don't want a smear test letter?

No. I wanted a system to already be in place that enabled me and others like me to get a smear test letter. Instead my cervix was a surprise present for the surgeon who removed it because the automated system solely goes by an F.

surely anyone with a birth / biological sex female needs a smear? and your birth / biological sex needs to be held at your GP

Anyone with a cervix should have access to a smear. That access is incredibly frequently denied to people with cervixes who's digital work doesn't state they're female, and not all medical instances accept them being carried out regardless.

I was going to say what Hermione has, OP. I realise you have spent a great deal of time thinking about biology in your life, but more women than you can imagine don’t, or don’t know medical words for their anatomy. There are women who simply don’t know that they have a cervix, sad though that is to consider, or who don’t know the English word for it. So they might respond to a poster in a GP’s waiting room addressed to ‘women’ but not register one addressed to ‘people with a cervix’.

Women are still addressed as women. People with cervixes who aren't women are allowed onto a list for care for said cervix. Women without a cervix are allowed to exit off the automatic list by indication that they should be removed.

This is the last time I'm repeating the same thing.

How do humans and other mammals procreate if sex is a construct?

Procreation requires, in mammals, a functioning womb, ovaries and semen (largely). It does not require a distinction of one being male or one being female.

Are you a feminist?

A feminist or a feminist ally, yes. Obviously not one that's trans exclusive and not one for enabling bigotry.

'There are no toys or behaviour for boys or girls, no, that's correct. If she consistently (over years) initiates being a boy or desire to transition it might be more an idea to pay attention for possibly being trans.'

did you mean imitates? as quite a few of us here went through a tomboy phase, I still do 'boy things' doesn't mean I want to be a boy though. Most of the time I'm just me, without a label, boy/girl

No, I meant 'initiates'. As in the child insists they are a boy consistently.

so if she says she wants to transition then that might be a clue?

It might be.

'I do not believe all women should be banned from tending to children because I know abusive mothers.'

@Sideris Respectfully, what an idiotic thing to say. Male on female violence is a HUGE issue. Male on Children sexual violence is a HUGE issue. % of Women who commit these crimes are MINUSCULE and not comparable. You’ve just outed yourself

By all means, swap mothers with fathers. I don't believe all men should be banned from caring for children because I know abusive fathers. I do not believe it just to deny a father to raise his child on the basis he's a man, I do not believe gay men should be denied adoption because abusive fathers exist.

As a person born as a female with female reproductive organs... if you were diagnosed with a female cancer how would you react?

The same way any other with cancer would react. Probably wouldn't go ahead and call it vaginal cancer in public conversation, though.

What are you basing your personal identity on then, how are you seeing yourself differently ‘as a man’ than you did ‘as a woman’, if it is not tied up in gender stereotypes about what men and women should be?

I never saw myself 'as a woman', so I can't see a difference. You're asking me to compare something that I have zero reference for.

So in that case, could you explain what distinction you are making between biological women and biological men which enabled you to know that you were one and not the other?

You're very clearly asking me the wrong question. I'm very tired of repeating myself in that I do not care, at all, I do not have a distinction, I do not believe I am one and not the other, it is a conversation you cannot have with me.

So they're just labels we ascribe to ourselves and others?; lovely idea, but I'm afraid you are incorrect.
They are the sex classifications for all mammals and most other living beings. I accept its trickier with snails and trees.
Are 'snail' and 'tree' personal identities we can identify into and out of?

'Snails' and 'trees' are names we gave to an animal and a plant (also names we gave to those). They're not considered identities any more than a kidney. They describe something. 'Female' and 'male' are not stuck in one description, people fit outside the box constantly, they're simplifications that group together bunches of aspects. Animals, as far as we know, do not have 'male' or 'female', they have organs that respond in certain manners of which one organ grows a child/children, a whole bunch of things. Not the "'female' and 'male' and they go perfectly together for childbirth all the time" situation we insist is there.

I assume the person asking you about JK Rowling was referring to her recent tweet in support of Maya Forstater, in which Ms Rowling said a person should not be sacked for saying (as you also say) that biological sex exists. Has she also tweeted in support of someone who wants to legalise sexual harassment? Who?

Or, if you are also referring to Ms Forstater, please link to where she has indicated that she believes sexual harassment should be legalised.

Forstaters' lawsuit documents and manifesto clearly indicate she spent approximately 130 tweets a week harassing trans women with increasing vitrol and talking about the genitals and assumed fantasies of her co-employee, by name, on a very public social network. She believed she should be protected for that.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 06/01/2020 16:39

I asked for a double mastectomy and hysterectomy since I was 10 years old.

It's not often I feel genuine distress at a post, but the thought of someone in the medical profession actually agreeing to, and conducting a double mastectomy and hysterectomy on a healthy is truly disturbing. I know there are all sorts of unethical medical practices that are available around the world, but that's truly macabre.

daisychain01 · 06/01/2020 16:40

on a healthy woman

This shit is not for the faint-hearted.

PencilsInSpace · 06/01/2020 16:42

We're fully aware of reality.

Grin

OP, according to you, a man is someone who identifies as a man, right?

So a man is someone who identifies as [someone who identifies as a man].

And a man is someone who identifies as [someone who identifies as [someone who identifies as a man]].

And a man is someone who identifies as [someone who identifies as [someone who identifies as [someone who identifies as a man]]].

Etc. etc. but without any non-circular definition of 'man', none of us are any the wiser. Why don't you just ID as a 'plibble'? It would make just as much sense.

Or, if you want something a bit more grounded in reality (Wink), how about IDing as a 'testosterone user'? That would fit well with all the other bobbins like 'cervix haver', 'menstruator', 'birthing parent'.

FrogsFrogs · 06/01/2020 16:42

If male female man woman girl boy don't mean anything at all to do with what they have always meant, then what can it mean to feel more like one or the other, and what does transition even mean.

These categories are pointless, but they need to exist for trans ideas to make any sense at all.

FrogsFrogs · 06/01/2020 16:44

'Instead my cervix was a surprise present for the surgeon who removed it because the automated system solely goes by an F.'

Didn't they notice your vagina? And thought hmm this person might have a cervix?
If you were having surgery to remove it how can it have come as a suprise to them?

PencilsInSpace · 06/01/2020 16:45

Forstaters' lawsuit documents and manifesto clearly indicate she spent approximately 130 tweets a week harassing trans women with increasing vitrol and talking about the genitals and assumed fantasies of her co-employee, by name, on a very public social network. She believed she should be protected for that.

You'd better provide links to back up what you're saying here. What you are writing is untrue to the point of libel. Also Maya is a MNer and it's against the talk guidelines to make this sort of personal attack on other site members.

KOKOagainandagain · 06/01/2020 16:51

I need a key to translation. Eg 'people with cervixes who are not women' = women.

Otherwise I lose the flow of the narrative and struggle to make sense of what the OP wants to communicate.

flowery · 06/01/2020 16:54

” Forstaters' lawsuit documents and manifesto clearly indicate she spent approximately 130 tweets a week harassing trans women with increasing vitrol and talking about the genitals and assumed fantasies of her co-employee, by name, on a very public social network. She believed she should be protected for that.”

I assume you haven’t read the judgment, which I have. I look forward to receiving links to proof of those allegations, and also to a link where Ms Forstater supports the legalisation of sexual harassment.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 06/01/2020 16:57

“I personally have no fear of using male toilets and have been using them before I was even read as male“

So once again zero consideration of whether those male humans consented to having you there.

Do you think all areas should be mixed sex & mixed “gender ID”? If not what is the reason to separate on gender ID.
The reasons to separate on sex are safety (male violence) & biology.

I would add dignity to that but you don’t seem to feel women’s consent to be important at all Sad

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 06/01/2020 16:58

I'm not ignoring you, you came into the conversation late

I asked the questions on Page 3 and you've answered many, many subsequent ones that were posted after mine. Don't blame others for your mistakes.

Sideris · 06/01/2020 16:58

Also Maya is a MNer and it's against the talk guidelines to make this sort of personal attack on other site members.

I'm not following her around. Don't ask me about her if I can't give an honest response. Simple.

OP posts:
Tricicorn · 06/01/2020 16:59

The straw man arguments and logical fallacies you present in answering questions are worthy of a position in top level government. You are wrigglier than an eel with an itchy. Your posts are like reading the transcript of a post modernist treatment of Yes Minister. Only instead of being ironic and funny, the nonsense you are coming out with is in turn frightening and ludicrous.

schoolcats · 06/01/2020 17:01

Feminism is:

the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

How can you call yourself a feminist or feminist advocate when you support female only spaces being open to people with penises or people who identify as men?

Sideris · 06/01/2020 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JacquesHammer · 06/01/2020 17:02

Why does a transwoman have the right to invade biological women’s sport? Why do their rights to play sport override my rights to personal safety.

PencilsInSpace · 06/01/2020 17:04

Don't ask me about her if I can't give an honest response.

You haven't given an honest response you've typed a load of things which are not true.

skatesbythesea · 06/01/2020 17:06
  1. If society just accepted you more as the gender you want to be would that help e.g. not bullying, respecting, wear what you want, be called what you want etc.?
  1. Can you/one not learn to love your body even if it is not the one you think you should have? Is there a need for more specific specialist therapy around this?
  1. Why can't new places be required to build a third toilet (or fourth if you count disabled) type for transpeople?
  1. How judgemental do you think society is around gender identity?
  1. Is it better to not transition or transition?
WellErrr · 06/01/2020 17:06

This is a very interesting insight into trans ideology.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/01/2020 17:07

I’ve not responded to questions that aren’t worth a response.

Do you actually mean that you’re not able to respond? Because I’ve asked some ignored questions I’d like answers to.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 06/01/2020 17:10

Unless you just logged into the wrong sock account, it is not there, and I've not responded to questions that aren't worth a response.

Don't judge others by your own standards, love. I have my view set to 100 posts a page and it's right there on P.3, and I went to the trouble of reposting it for you later.

I'd suggest you haven't responded to questions that you can't even summon up an illogical word salad for because they cut to the heart of an issue you have no logical answer for...which is an answer in itself.

PencilsInSpace · 06/01/2020 17:11

The Equality Act already indicates that a trans woman isn't allowed to be discriminated against on the grounds of being trans, solely by a case-by-case basis, so it is incredibly ironic you cite that against me.

Oh for goodness sake, have you been having equality training from Morgane 'I've read your laws' Oger?

The EA says that a legally male tw (so any tw without a GRC) has the protected characteristic of gender reassignment and must not be treated less favourably than any other legally male person because of this. Only tw with a GRC share the protected characteristic of sex with women and they can still be excluded from female only spaces and services if it's a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim. No 'case by case' - that is nowhere in the EA.

Harassment is prohibited conduct under the EA. It's defined as unwanted conduct related to a protected characteristic which has the purpose or effect of violating someone's dignity or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for them.

Preventing harassment is always a legitimate aim and excluding a tw is always a proportionate means because the addition of just one tw to a previously female only space or service makes it mixed sex for everyone.

This is what the single sex exceptions are for - to prevent harassment.

Incidentally, not all trans people have the protected characteristic of gender reassignment. Notably, people who ID as non-binary are not covered (this is why they keep trying to change gender reassignment to gender identity).

HerRoyalFattyness · 06/01/2020 17:11

Yesterday 12:21 OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg

I have many questions, sorry:

  1. What do you see as the difference(s) between sex and gender?
  2. How did/do you know that your “sense” of being a male was more masculine than other girls/women feel and/or less feminine than other boys/men feel?
  3. If you acknowledge biological sex as immutable and are dismissive of gender stereotypes, why did you feel the need to transition at all?
  4. Do you believe that people who present with anorexia should be encouraged to continue controlling their weight, even to the point of starvation or death?
  5. Did your therapist(s) ever make the connection between your rape, your persistent depression and your desire to transition?
  6. Do you believe that presenting as masculine protects you from the increased risk of suffering (further) sexual assault that occurs as being a member of the female class?
  7. Does your trans activism include support for detransitioners? If not, why not?
  8. Do you think parents whose child indicates to a teacher/classmates they think they may be trans should be informed by the school?
  9. Why do you think there are not similar numbers of middle aged women transitioning as there are middle aged men?
  10. What do you know about autogynephilia?
  11. At what point will you acknowledge the validity of those who have concerns about the reduction in safeguarding that self-ID brings about? The concerns of women, women of faith, rape/sexual abuse survivors, female prisoners, transwidows, parents of children seeing the evidence of ROGD in their own children? Do you believe they’re all “misdirected” despite the breadth of their experience?
  12. How many women and girls need to suffer rape, assault or voyeurism in formerly single sex spaces before you acknowledge they are required in society?

Just reposting for @Sideris to see
@OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg I found your questions on page 10.
In fairness the thread moves quickly and OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg may have only read 3 pages when she posted.

flowery · 06/01/2020 17:12

”Don't ask me about her if I can't give an honest response. Simple.”

You can give an honest response. We’re all ears when you choose to do so.