I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

[Sideris]

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

Well clearly this is no longer an AMA, but has become a communal rant.

OP would be wise to ignore any questions not asked in a reasonable manner, or even to walk away from the thread.

I don't have a 'side' in this. I simply think that he should be treated with a reasonable amount of respect on this branch.

This is painful.

You keep saying you are a man but when asked what makes you a man you say that it’s a social construct you don’t ascribe to.

The hypocrisy and ignore is genuinely terrifying. I am so scared about the future for women when their rights and safety are being eroded at such a rate for the sake of a few loud, self-indulgent individuals.

I can only hope common sense prevails.

*A girl's persons' rape should never be used as the reason to exclude the whole of the male sex a minority group from female spaces.
That's what you are really saying. That's disgusting. Males commit almost all sexual crime. Girls should never be forced to accept that. Their privacy and dignity matters.
I think you are suffering from just plain old woman-hating OP. I guess even women can suffer from that?

That's what you are really saying. That's disgusting. Males commit almost all sexual crime. Girls should never be forced to accept that. Their privacy and dignity matters
I think you are suffering from just plain old woman-hating OP. I guess even women can suffer from that?

I would agree totally with you. Except I would add the stat that 100% of rape is carried out by men.

Imagine sitting there on a Sunday getting this worked up over how someone you’ve ever met chooses to live their life 😂

Just a reminder that referring to the OP as "she" counts as a violation of the mumsnet guidelines.

Be careful not to get yourself banned by someone who possibly isnt posting in good faith.

@Sideris - you say "I'm not responsible for someone's comfort or discomfort. They're feelings that don't trump people's rights."

Well isn't that interesting? Because this whole trans debate so far is about how our rights as women to safe places are well and truly trumped by the feelings of a few - that's why we are getting annoyed - because our right to an identity (woman) is being taken away because it's hurts the feelings of people who want to be women.

OP, you day you pass as male, but really you mean dress as a man and think people pretend to see you as a male, yet you admit some gay men come onto you because you are still giving out some female signals on a subconscious level, this could be to do with your bone structure, the skull of a female always looks more delicate.
I have friends who are post op and they have much pain, didn't look like the gender they choose.
I worry about young bodies being cut apart, once done it is a life of drugs and hurt

Imagine sitting there on a Sunday getting this worked up over how someone you’ve ever met chooses to live their life

Yeah you’re living quite the high life posting that

Imagine sitting there on a Sunday posting about what other people you’ve never met say on a forum.

Not so exciting when you think about it....

I've picked out some of your earlier answers about what you have said about living as a man and living as a woman. It strikes me that for you it is all about role play and how you are treated by others.

I am a man and per that self identity I enjoy having others treat me as such, too. I'm sure you understand constantly treating a woman as a man or vice versa can be traumatizing.

How do you feel you are treated differently as a trans man?

When trying to emulate a woman it caused me constant mental distress to the point I couldn't live, I was just alive.

Since you were born female, why do you talk about 'emulating' a woman? An adult who was born female cannot 'emulate' a woman, because she is a woman. Women can present and behave in any way, but they are still women.

It was killing me to be seen as a woman.

Why? What happened when you were treated as a woman which was so traumatising?

I've tried this, I've tried to be a more masculine woman than I'm now as a (feminine) man, I've tried to be more feminine, I've tried neutral as a woman and it was all mentally, emotionally and physically destroying me.

Why did you feel you had to role play? Why couldn't you just be yourself?

No one cares how OP chooses to live their life, Fraggot. I don't care what someone wears or calls themselves or behaves as long as it doesn't impact in a detrimental way on other people. OP says they are an activist fighting for things many people don't believe in and which will impact negatively on their lives. It's really not that funny.

So basically you think that all women should be happy to share all spaces with men, and wait until a crime is committed before they complain. All of your arguments in response to my question about safeguarding and self id have concentrated on the rights of a man to do exactly what they damn well please, and women should just shut up and cross their fingers that some benevolent society will punish anyone who behaves badly towards them. Yes, men can technically wander in to women’s bathrooms at the moment, but not without a general societal belief that actually, it’s not okay and it is acceptable to challenge them.

Leaving aside the absolutely woeful conviction rates for sexual assault and violence against women, why do you think sex segregated spaces exist in the first place?

What other preventative measures and legislation should we get rid of, because, hey, it “never happens”, or we should just wait until a crime is committed and then attempt to fix things?

And, if, as you say, all of the bad outcomes are possible now, why bother changing the law?

It was killing me to be seen as a woman.

Why? What happened when you were treated as a woman which was so traumatising?

I’m not answering on behalf of the OP, but it jumped at me that asking about trauma experienced ‘as a woman’ was a spot on question in response to that statement. OP disclosed earlier they have been raped and sexually assaulted. My experience is this is not an uncommon history amongst young transmen (and those identifying as non-binary etc). Ditto MH issues, often poorly treated. OP please don’t feel obliged to comment on this if you don’t feel comfortable to, I am just making an observation.

Still no answer to the fundamental question: if sex is just a construct and our feelings about that don’t matter, then why are we re-organizing society to support the feelings of a small number of people who believe they were assigned the wrong sex at birth? If sex is meaningless, why do trans people exist? Presumably the OP could happily have lived his life either as a woman or a man? And yet he says it saved his life to be able to transition ‘to live as a man’. While at the same time saying that sex is not real.

There’s a level of cognitive dissonance to the trans philosophy that I can’t get past. It just makes no sense. The old school transsexual mindset (requiring surgery, hormones, therapy & ‘passing’ to transition) made more sense because at least that admitted the reality of biological sex, even if it reinforced gender stereotypes at the same time. Now transsexuals are dismissed as ‘truscum’.

Also, I gave up on the OP when he dismissed evidence that male-born people commit more crimes than female-born people as the product of a prejudiced judicial system that would likely say the same about people of color. Really? Way to co-opt the oppression of people of color to try and convince us to have more faith in men. The worst version I’ve ever read of ‘NAMALT’. I guess the OP has decided to adopt some classic male privilege attitudes as part of his transition to ‘living as a man’.

concentrated on the rights of a man to do exactly what they damn well please
which is exactly why OP wants to be a man, OP's brain has done the internal calculation ie them's the ones with the power and money, I want me some of that (of course, who wouldnt)
all the smoke and mirror justifications are the conscious mind trying to rationalise the urges of the id/unconscious

I asked a question about identifying out of abuse-related trauma earlier, Cwenthryth. Haven’t had a response as yet.

If a man wants to go through that hassle to enter the women's bathroom solely so he can receive the same conviction as without he's a fool
are you saying that identifying as a woman makes does not make it easier for a man to commit and get away with crimes against women?

It’s AMA @Fraggot and talking of being over invested - you’ve been watching this thread a while, I imagine you’re getting a little more worked up than your crying laughing emoticon let’s on

fighting for things many people don't believe in

Their existence is stronger than people’s beliefs

you’ve been watching this thread a while

Have I? thought I’d played monopoly with the kids for the past 4 hours but must be wrong.

Their existence is stronger than people’s beliefs

The existence of sex as a biological fact is stronger than people's beliefs too.
Or at least it should be.

FFS. No one is saying OP doesn't exist. Scraping the barrel there.

Who's denying who's existence?

Have I missed something?