I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

I had a TOP under GA 9 years ago. The ladies looking after me were brilliant, from the GUM clinic to the sonographer to the nurses at the hospital. I was young and scared and contraception had failed. My DP (now DH) didn't want me to go through with it at the time but it was logically our only option, especially as I'd previously had a miscarriage that had caused me quite a bit of trauma( with an earlier partner, again a contraception failure).

9 years and 2 DC later, I don't regret my actions at all and am incredibly thankful for those who were kind to me at a really bad time in my life.

Thank you for everything you do.

Why are people trying to trip up the OP/question her on other people's lives and choices?!

Presumably because she said AMA

@Sagradafamiliar can you please tell us, where any of us have said we are against the law as it stands now?

And what would you call it then? It's still to be called an abortion at 40 weeks? A perfectly healthy baby and mother, but the mother has just changed her mind? That same day that baby could be born and is ready for the world.

I can't understand why people are so concerned with what other women do with their lives. So someone wants to abort babies instead of going on the pill. I wouldn't do it but if someone else wants to then that's their choice.

Abortion should be legal at any gestation for any reason. It's up to the individual to decide what is right for them not others to decide for them. If you don't want a late term abortion don't have one. But I can't see how in relation to the baby it makes a difference whether you end its life at 12 weeks or 38 weeks - life starts at conception, either way your killing a baby.

Plus if you have a 38 week abortion because you don't feel like having a baby anymore - then it's probably best for the baby they are not going to be raised by such a person, same with sex based abortion.

But my question to op - do you think there is enough information freely available about the abortion process. I've found on the Internet there is mainly horror stories and no factual info on the options and proceedures. It seems abortion is still quite taboo and secretive.

The law as it stand is 24 weeks, because after that time the baby can feel pain, and due to amazing medical advances could be born prematurely and live a normal life.

It is capped at 24 weeks to give that baby rights.

@Thelovecats85 I agree actually about information on the Internet. I was recently looking for information for a friend who was supporting someone and even I found it hard to find! Often you get redirected to anti choice websites and it's really scary information.

No one is going to abort a healthy baby at 40 weeks just because “they have changed their mind”

That would be a sociopath and I don’t think any doctor would do the operation anyway

However, I have read about a couple who aborted their baby at 38 weeks. The baby was severely ill, but delays to results meant they didn’t get them until late. They then had to wait for the abortion date. This meant that a fully formed baby was killed and born, but it wouldn’t have survived delivery anyway, and the mother thought that this was the least traumatising for her

@GlitteryPoopooplop I'd like to say a huge thank you. I'm quite literally sat in a waiting room right now waiting to be called for my GA to tfmr, I hope my nurses are as kind and compassionate as you seem here

@LittleMissHappy19

I know why it's capped at 24 weeks, but life starts at conception. Your ending a life whether it's pre or past 24 weeks so you might as well allow after 24 weeks. No one is going to do it without a very good reason and if they do then they're probably not the best person to be raising a child.

Abortion is quite an emotive subject for many. But seriously, if you are more pro-life than pro-choice and use the terminology to match (like 'killing', 'murder', 'she wants to kill babies') and are incapable of having a critical, objective conversation then why upset yourselves clicking on an AMA where the subject matter is abortion, and the OP in question is clearly, unarguably going to be passionately pro-choice with WOMEN'S wellbeing as the priority??

THANKYOU for everything you do. I remember at 17, the doctor being so horrible when I expressed surprised that it was a man going to examne me, and I wanted a woman. He told me that it wasnt as if a man hadnt already seen in there already.
When I actually had the abortion, I remember a particular nurse being so kind, she stroked my face and smiled at me. I had been so terrified and ashamed, it made all the difference

Often you get redirected to anti choice websites and it's really scary information

Is it false information?

Or true but hard to read.

Or manipulative, emotionally abusive bullshit.

it's what the clinic is there for, it's what the law is there for, and thankfully it's why decent empathetic, understanding people like the OP are employed in their roles.

Actually it's not because the law says there is a limit of 24 weeks, therefore, you can only be pro choice if you believe in the ANY reason at ANY time, then the law isn't pro choice is it? So really woman can only make the choice before 24 weeks, after that they don't have a choice.

sag I didn’t expect the extreme view of abortion for any reason until term for one thing, that’s not legal so why would any of us assume that topic would dominate here before clicking on? But also, my argument is reasonable and criticle, and nobody has actually said how it isn’t ‘killing a baby’, and I don’t need them to, that’s their opinion. But just because I don’t agree with your opinion doesn’t mean I can’t question it or click on here. As you say it’s an emotive topic, so why should it be fully objective? That wouldn’t be the best choice for any woman or baby because there is no absolute on what is right here.

There are certain circumstances in which women can go beyond the 24 week cut-off.
I'm aware of the law. I'm also aware of the meaning of pro-choice. Clue's in the name.

OP thank you, thank you, thank you for the work you do and for doing it with compassion. Well done also for dealing with the armchair experts with good grace.

Why are people trying to trip up the OP/question her on other people's lives and choices?

That's not what they are doing though it it? They are asking questions on statements she made.
For example, a woman should have to take contraception if she feels she doesn't want to gain weight because she has access to abortion. For a start contraception doesn't make you gain weight, eating does so to accept that as a reason for abortion is ridiculous.

The questions surrounding domestic abuse survivors are not to be directed at OP and yet she's been asked about certain scenarios she can't possibly account for. Down to questioning her on phone tracking/GP appointments/why they don't take MAP for god's sake. Don't forget, she only has women's versions of events to go on. So whilst they probably are true, and they probably are in danger, there probably are other ways to safely go about preventing pregnancy. But it's all whataboutery. It's pointless asking. It's done.
If a woman is pregnant and she doesn't want to be, that's all it comes down to anyway. Whether that sits well with you or anyone else or not.

Or true but hard to read.

It might be true but someone looking up the realities of abortion because they have let's say, been raped or may have a disabled child - should be able to easily access clear, factual unbiased information. Not annicdotes about how horrific the procedure is or emotive discriptions to guilt you into keeping the child.

The reason it is such a debatable subject is because there are people who believe a child is a life from the moment it is conceived and they have a very hard time processing that others find it perfectly acceptable to end that babies life. Why? Because taking a life is morally wrong, we are taught our whole lives that ending another human life is bad, but for some reason people accept when it is still inside the mother it is fine because the woman's rights trump that child. Fair enough but where does that end? What happens when a child is 2 months old and the mother realises it was a big mistake?

And that's funny because I got the injection yesterday and was told it could make me gain weight (if I fitted into one of two 'risk' groups), which I already know anyway. Most women have heard about the pill leading to weight gain, some women would be put off whether it's strictly true or not and that is their right.

Start a thread on it then drogo. Best of luck with it!