Im a retired shoplifter AMA

[WorkingGirlJem]

That's it really. Have been a shoplifter for approx 10 years, and have recently decided to stop.
I'm not proud of myself, am fully expecting to get flamed, but and am hoping getting this out there will help with my resolve to stop permanently.
AMA

Were you deprived as a child @WorkingGirlJem ?

You are obviously highly intelligent but I agree with the pp that thought there is probably some self abuse been going on with you.

Posting here may feel therapeutic but it certainly won't relinquish you of your burden of guilt.

I honestly don't know how you managed to function day to day and sleep at night doing all that stealing, I'd be feeling sick with worry about what I'd done and being shamed on cctv/social media.

Thieving is really low, for anyone but thieving for greed is worse than stealing to survive imo.

The fact you have a medical career, presumably in a position of trust with vulnerable people makes me really concerned tbh.

Did you have any near misses where you were nearly caught or thought you were going to get caught? If so what happened?

Well done for stopping and good luck for the future

Whatever you say, there is something behind why you did this. Some lack, either depression or a feeling of insufficiency in yourself or emotionally. Good for you that you’ve stopped, but you need to look at what’s really going on for you beneath the veneer of the perfect life.
I think you’re on here because you are needing help, needing people to know that you’re not all right.
Think about it.

There's always a reason for these behaviours.

I shoplifted as a teenager. It was make up, hair colours. I felt (and recognise now as a 50-year old) deprived of such items as my stepmother was puritanical. But I remember the feeling clearly. I got caught.

I'm aware of a friend's friend who's a regular shoplifter. We had a discussion surrounding her behaviours. She was indifferent about her acts and I drew from her comments that she felt a sense of entitlement and because it was large corporations it didn't matter.

OP, I wonder what you're reasoning is for posting here. Is it because you want the shame to make you feel better? Knowing you'd receive mixed reactions to your admissions, I wonder which ones do make you feel shameful. I don't think you're brave or courageous or have a need to 'turn' your life around, I think you're posting here for something and I can't put my finger on it.

There's something much deeper than unhappiness, I don't see or read a sense of entitlement, I see a habit that you've grown out of. It's clearly not a fear. It hasn't taken you ten years to think of the shame you'd being on your children. Or your chap.

I don't read either that its been a thrill. If you're surrounded by your ill-gotten gains, you're not ashamed. You're sitting among these items.

It's almost as though it's a comfort thing.

Interesting - I'll than you for posting. But I'm very intrigued as to what is behind your actions, why you have stopped and yet you still keep the items.

Did your parents do anything that made you not care about being a thief. Would they be ashamed of you?

I what will you do if your kids steal?

I think you should pay back the stores the stores the money you stole from them. I presume you won't because you don't really care and because you would rather keep the money for yourself... or is there another reason/excuse why you wouldn't?

I'll admit to despising shoplifters. They make it difficult and expensive for everyone else. I think shoplifters are nasty low lifes. I guess the ones who are trying to feed a drug habit at least have a reason even if it's a crap reason. I'm not 100% perfect but I have never shoplifted - I don't feel like I'm being holier-than-thou by not shoplifting - it's just something that it's outside what I consider normal decent behaviour.

OP, I wonder what you're reasoning is for posting here. Is it because you want the shame to make you feel better?

I would put money on it being ill health issue/health scare related. Its some sort of health scare that has either impacted them or someone close. At a push maybe a milestone birthday.

These 'confessions' (?) are almost certainly mortality related - ie the recognition of ones own mortality..

I could be wrong.

But there was definitely a trigger in November. Change of somekind that set this in motion. This is the easy part - the my name is x and i have a problem - bit. Stopping? Much harder than anticipated.

Likely to be a personality disorder of some sort lurking around somewhere too. Cluster b probably.

Good luck in keeping off the shoplifting op. I give you a month max. 10 years is an ingrained habit.

The level of shame from an anonymous forum is unlikely to provide the momentum required to stop.

Absent those were my thoughts too.

I remember reading about Derren Brown and his compulsive shoplifting habit before he became famous. He literally had a whole room stacked with stuff he had stolen. He did it for years. He had issues clearly, connected to his upbringing and being gay. Sometimes it can be a sort of wall against the world. All this stuff that you didn’t pay for. It’s like a substitute for love and acceptance, a sort of security.
I think you need thwrapybtobipick what it’s all about if you don’t already know. For some reason the shoplifting is not meeting your need anymore, and that’s why you stopped. What is it you are really greedy for I wonder?

Therapy to pick

I'm also intrigued as to why some feel that those who are addicted to drugs shoplifting is somehow justifiable because it's for a reason. If addiction is an illness (and I don't buy that theory) then if someone was shop lifting to buy cigarettes wouldn't extrapolate such empathy. The crime is shoplifting. The intent is there which is what crime is. Reasons behind this are mitigation not a defence.

For the OP, that's what make it so intriguing because she's intelligent, in a professional career. It's likely to be easier to not get caught because she may well present as erm. .. 'not in need' I'd say this is why she was able to go unnoticed. Genuinely, OP, as a professional, would you agree with this?

Someone addicted to drugs presents in a way that will attract security guards, etc.

I'm presuming OP that you just walked out with the microwave in your shopping trolley. I've worked in retail, and I've a good idea what you would have said and done should you have been approached by staff/security on your way out the store.

It doesn't take someone "clever" to be able to walk out of a shop with anything they haven't paid for really, (even a microwave!) any idiot can get away with theft if they know the 'tricks of the trade' and have a dose of luck on their side.

The question I would like to ask the OP is, what does it feel like to be at home looking at and using/wearing/eating items that are not yours?.
Personally, I get a sense of pride and satisfaction knowing that all I own is what I've worked for.

OP, how does it feel edicating your child about life, teaching them the message don't steal, be honest, eprk hard to get what you want etc while you're shoplifting not for necessity but quite frankly because you're greedy and self absorbed

“I din’t really get why mn is so massively snooty and judgemental. Is it a great thing to do? Obviously not. But she’s said she’s trying to change so give her a fucking break.”

Mumsnet, where spending £75 per head on your wedding guests is beyond the pale, but heaven forbid we judge a “retired” shoplifter 😆

Are you finding that since stopping shop lifting your standard of living has dropped? I.e. not getting all premium supermarket food that you would have otherwise shop lifter; not buying all the clothes that you have otherwise shop fitted? Not the level of Christmas presents that you would have otherwise shop lifterd etc

You’re out of order pyramid

@pyramidbutterflyfish Nobody here is condoning this but that's a very nasty and unnecessary comment

I am always well dressed and polite and look like any other member of the public minding their own business when I was out in the shops.
I thought it was common that shoplifters look well dressed and yet I had the security guard in Boots chase me around the other day, I had been playing in the park with my son and looked messy I guess

Give over, she doesn’t give a shit. She isn’t trying to make reparations or even avoid it happening again.

@pyramidbutterflyfish I'm well aware of that and I've already stated that she doesn't care and won't give any of it away, as have many others. But we have all managed to do it without calling the OP disgusting, degrading names.

If i was the OP I’d be thinking ‘hung for a sheep as well as for a lamb.’

There are reasons why people do things. She wants to stop. Supporting her in that might be a positive start. Telling her what a terrible person she is serves no useful purpose whatsoever.

As for ‘whore’, I judge that comment more harshly than any shoplifting.

OP I'm wondering if you've only decided to stop thieving because, when (not if) you eventually get your collar felt, you've realised that there may well be a hugely detrimental impact on your career if you're convicted of a criminal offence?

There's some sanctimonious comments on this thread. Do those of you who made them feel good for putting the OP down?

There's a saying "there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us.'

And that applies to everyone here, no matter who you are

Pyramid - I've reported your comment. Your choice of misogynistic language is vile.

I'm intrigued as to why someone earlier in the thread asked about whether the op was a prostitute. Why did they think this? Is there a link between the 2?

Whoa. Why is the OP being called a whore???