I wear a niqab! AMA

[JamTea]

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

If it was banned my husband would keep me in the home and many others would be forced to stay home too so it would get worse for us but after time our husbands would have to let us go out . It’s just when would that be I don’t no. Maybe until they get used to the idea. I want it banned for my daughters sake and would happily stay home for years just so she go out in normal dress

MilkTwoSugarsThanks

How do you communicate with people who have impaired hearing and need to lip read?

Can anyone answer this, as the OP isn't going to?

Candysugar I'm so sorry this is your life.

Asyha Iqbal runs an organisation in Birmingham called Odara. For women to get advice, support or just friendship. I believe they have a (women only) gym and spa etc. Might be a good network to be part of if it's possible. Good luck to you

Thank you so much I will google odar and Nora

So ultimately you'd prefer a ban?

It’s posts like yours candy that make women choosing to wear these horrific garments seem so - what’s the right word - disingenuous/ frivilous/disloyal.

Face covering isn’t compatible with life in the U.K. and it makes me so sad that women are forced into the shadows

Any people I no who are deaf or have mental illness such as autism and other things cultural beliefs make us wary of these people as we believe they are possessed so we don’t really communicate with them

Yes I am vote for a ban

Do you believe that candy?

CandySugar - I live near Birmingham. I see lots of women wearing hijab and niqab. I like to try and catch their eye and smile. I don't want frightened oppressed women believing that everyone out there is wanting to hurt or insult them. Sending you . Thank you for being so brave to admit how hard it is.

No I don’t believe that but you can’t be seen trying to engage with these people as family believe you are prone to catch something bad like a jinn from them

It's seriously fucked up candy. I mean seriously. 😔

Most Muslim women look into their eyes, their eyes so sad. Domestic abuse, slave to husband family, forced to have child after child list goes on most of us are sad and down

I really think people shouldn't post AMAs and then answer 3 questions and disappear.

It's seriously fucked up candy. I mean seriously

^^ This, really the only way to describe it. 😔

No I'm not sure what rhe op was trying to achieve here. I'm concerned she's not able to answer questions.

Candy thanks to you I shall make sure I smile at women dressed like this. And good for you on getting the implant. Some small victory.

I don't even know what to advise to help. It's just such a shitty way for people to treat the women they profess to love.

So when you are hearing another Muslim lady say that she loves wearing the niqab please don’t believe her, she is conditioned to say it. It is lonely miserable life and men have twisted this beautiful religion to be control freaks and dangerous human beings. I have lost two sisters , my home is like a prison. I missed a delivery other day as I am not allowed to open door to strangers without my husband present. Thank you for all your comments but now I must take my daughter and start getting her ready for bed so no more from me now. I feel very sad now for opening up how crap my life is

Candysugar 💐💐

You did well to open up.

And what I can't understand is why the op started this thread, isn't answering questions, apart from to tell us it's her choice.

Most Muslim women look into their eyes, their eyes so sad. Domestic abuse, slave to husband family, forced to have child after child list goes on most of us are sad and down

That's terrible Candy

And you don't owe your parents anything if that's what they expect of you. You really don't.

Disrespectful as this will sound, I'd say the same about Allah. Any god that expects you to live such an unhappy life doesn't deserve your respect.

Candy I wish I could hug you. My little boy has autism and he is wonderful....kind and curious and quirky! A real gem! I know you don't believe the nonsense you have been forced to hear.
Keep strong darling.

candysugar

Can I just start by saying that I find Boris's remarks quite offensive as they dehumanise women who wear the Niqab. I do not find this AMA thread useful at all as the op hasn't answered many questions. I also find some of her answers quite problematic, and I say that as a Muslim woman who was born and grew up in Muslim country and does not cover her head (no one does in my family except my mother who uses a 'dupatta' to cover her head but is under no illusion that doing so brings her closer to God, she does it for cultural reasons and has no qualms about meeting men without her head covered at home. She lives in the country of my birth).

The op says that she covers her face because her religion demands modesty, she feels closer to her Lord and she wants to emulate Prophet's wives. Fair enough, I totally respect that but can the op please clarify if she believes any of this is mentioned in the scripture? I don't think it is. I'm only bringing this up because people seem to think that women covering their faces are more chaste and likely to be 'good Muslims' because they are following the 'true message of Islam' when really there is no evidence to suggest that.

The tradition of 'covering faces' was introduced by the Prophet for his wives who were seen as superior to other women (this practice was then adopted by women of 'respectable' families in that part of the world).

I would also like the op to address the issue of women forced to wear the Niqab in her community/ does she know anyone who is forced to cover up? The op has made it quite clear that she wears the Niqab despite active opposition from her family and community at large, which I think is quite remarkable and highly doubt is representative of Muslim women's experiences.

One last thing, Islam is a very diverse religion and cuts through many cultures. Its beauty lies in people preserving their individual cultures while following the basic tenets instead of 'Saudi Arabianising' everything about Islam (many people would argue that rise of Niqab is closely linked to the rise of political Wahhabism post 70s/80s).

Sorry for the long post and apologies if I have offended anyone.

@Candysugar
I know you have left the thread now but just in case you return I wanted to send you my best wishes. Like Bluntness, I too will now make a special effort to be friendly to women dressed like this in future.

I think having a successful, well educated woman (OP) posting about how they have the freedom to choose is misleading and disingenuous when realistically so many women have very little choice at all. I understand from OP's perspective that it might be frustrating that the prevailing assumptions that surround the niqab might not be relevant to her specific case however I think that a lot of these assumptions are reasonably well founded and are accurate for lots of Muslim women. Maybe OP was posting in the hope of dispelling some myths but I think Candy has proven that they may not be myths at all.

Hope OP comes back