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Original poster

I wear a niqab! AMA

838 replies

JamTea · 12/08/2018 13:34

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Radyward · 13/08/2018 22:29

This thread makes me so sad
Poor women covered head to toe in a western civilised modern society is seen as more and more acceptable. Extremes and non integration in pockets of towns and cities.
I feel ill seeing the trend of little girls covered while little boys run around. Its all getting more and more extreme and society fragmented from the uk we all love. In what 20 yrs ! . Whats next ?
Sadiq khan banning scantily clad women on the underground - so what if they are displayed. Pushing his own agenda .
Boris is right
.is this the slow decline of the UK to a still minority religious ethos ? Its frightening it really is.
I will never accept a woman puts on a burka willingly. Its at complete odds to the society in general they want to live and work in !!!

Bicyclethief · 13/08/2018 22:39

I expect the truth is that some women are forced, others wear because they have always worn it and would just feel odd not wearing (I'm thinking my gran wearing black for the rest of her life when her husband died) and others wear to make a political point.

I know many Muslims and none wear the full face covering but outside this having lived in east London the use of face covering has no doubt increased as is the use for young girls. Incidentally, It seems that there is also an increase of Muslim men wearing traditional clothes.

HannahnotAgnes · 13/08/2018 22:50

I agree Rady.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 13/08/2018 22:52

Evening all. Just a reminder that we think it would be best to return to the OP's AMA and draw a line under everything else now. It seems a bit unfair to derail an AMA, though of course we'd be happy to host others on the subject. Thank you!

Valanice1989 · 13/08/2018 23:08

There are many posters on many threads say that they are long time lurkers and have joined to post something they feel strongly about. Why would this not be the same for CandySugar who is in a controlling relationship.

Yes. I think it was a bit "off" of MNHQ to announce that Candy had joined yesterday and then de-registered. That's no one else's business, and it seems to me that there's trying to imply that her posts are dubious. The excuse was that they wanted to let people know not to expect her back, but let's be honest, posters disappear from threads all the time.

Yes, Candy might be a troll. So might anyone on this site!

TimeForANewNameIThink · 13/08/2018 23:22

Hi, from reading your posts, you seem to be quite happy to remove your niqab at will, (if you want to eat, or feel you are in a threatening situation, or need to show your face for id), so how does this work with your beliefs? You are wearing it to 'please your Lord', and yet, whenever you feel like it, you remove it, sometimes just for your convenience (e.g. eating, or answering the door, once it's removed), so does that sort of lessen how pleased you think He might be with you? It seems to me, if you are wearing it to please him, then you wouldn't slip it off to eat, or not replace it to answer the door.

Ilovemypantry · 13/08/2018 23:34

Totally agree with Radywards comments.

InionEile · 14/08/2018 02:40

I'm interested to know why the number of women wearing more fundamentalist styles of Muslim dress has increased in the past 10+ years, especially among women like you who are second- or third-generation British?

When I lived in Germany 15 years ago, I lived in a Turkish neighborhood and the only women who wore full hijab / jilbab were the grannies who were obviously from rural parts of Turkey. Now, there are younger women wearing these old-fashioned styles of clothes and I wonder why that is?

Do women now feel more confident in expressing their religion in public or are more extreme versions of Islam spreading due to Saudi influence (funding mosques, schools etc)?

I think that is one issue many people have with niqabs or burqas - they seem like more fundamentalist forms of Islamic dress that are not strictly necessary to be a good Muslim but seem to be increasingly popular, as if the wearers wants to challenge Western society's norms to the extreme.

Is it a Muslim version of teenagers getting extreme tattoos or piercings to annoy their parents? Grin

Sellotapenglitter · 14/08/2018 02:57

I would like to know what you think of ladies who wear far fewer clothes in the very hot weather, or do you not think about them at all!

TacoLover · 14/08/2018 05:57

Yes, Candy might be a troll. So might anyone on this site!

Well I think it's very likely that she is due to her blatant lie about Islamic schools forcing girls to wear face coverings...

Sleephead1 · 14/08/2018 06:18

Hi I was wondering do you believe they are some women in the UK like candy said who are forced to wear it ? I know you said that your experience is not like that but have you ever heard or seen this perhaps in certain areas , cultures? I believe it is your choice 100% and you seem very happy to wear it and also like you have a very happy life. I absolutely believe some women do choose to wear it themselves and believe that is their right to decide that I just always wondered if some people are pressured or forced into it and I think that must be so awful for them. Do you also believe that like candy said some women are saying they are happy to wear it but really this is a act and actually they are some women who would prefer not to but do it to please their family or community. Thank you

jellycat1 · 14/08/2018 06:36

There are however one or two advantages that come along with it (such as remaining anonymous in a very nosey close knit community

Sorry OP but this is my fundamental problem with it. If you are living in society, in a community, whether nosey or not, you should not be going about your daily business interacting with others, completely unidentifiable. I am sure you are a lovely person but plenty are not.

We are currently in the ME and hardly any women cover their faces. Saudi is a different story and I've seen Saudi girls not much older than toddlers completely covered which actually makes me feel really angry and slightly sick.

Thanks for the AMA though. Very brave.

ferrier · 14/08/2018 07:24

blatant lie about Islamic schools forcing girls to wear face coverings...

Why do you think this is a lie? At the very least there is cultural pressure on the parents to have their daughters cover up.

FallenSky · 14/08/2018 08:12

Not sure how to phrase this really, but I'll try. You say that the 4 main scholars believe that Niqab is recommended. 2 (or 1?) believe it is required. Yet some scholars say it does not mean face covering at all. How do you know which scholars interpretation to believe? I'm not religious, but I was brought up Catholic. Part of my issue with the religion was that I couldn't understand how there was supposedly one God, yet there were many different rules depending on how one man or another had chosen to interpret scripture. I believed that if there was a God, surely his teachings and his "rules" would be clear. If his words are open to interpretation then by default they are also open to abuse?

Bluntness100 · 14/08/2018 08:31

blatant lie about Islamic schools forcing girls to wear face coverings...

I'm not sure this was a lie either. I think it was not Clarified well enough what she meant by Islamic school . There are a huge amount of illegal schools covering many religions.

More than half of them are Islamic schools, and ofsted have very little they can do about it due to rules around home schooling being lax. For example one in Birmingham they found material teaching the kids homosexuals should be murdered. Inspectors don't even have the right to seize the material. In one school thr bbc reported that they wouldn't let thr inspectors in for an hour then when they did thr little girls were all leaving through another door.

I really wouldn't be quick to condemn that poster. Two women can have very different experiences.

She was also very clear she deregged to prevent her husband seeing thr history on her phone, as a poster told her that was the only way to do it.

Ilovemypantry · 14/08/2018 08:42

Sorry if this question has already been answered by OP but I can’t find it.
Why does the niqab/burka have to be black? Why not other colours too...pink, blue, red , green etc. If the reason for wearing it is to please their God, did He specify what colour it had to be?

Pornstarlips · 14/08/2018 08:48

Bluntness my problem with candy was she was trying to make the OP come across as a liar using words such as ' you know that all islamic schools force girls to wear niqab' and ' you know muslim women are sad so why deny it'.
In my opinion as a muslim woman candy was not being honest about her situation. I would say she was a troll.

Bluntness100 · 14/08/2018 08:57

I think it's really hard for us to tell anyone's motivation on here.

It's interesting we have two posters, both who wear the niqab, husbands in traditional Islamic dress, both a minority effectively, as most Muslim women don't wear the veil, both with very different views on what life is like. For me it's feasible both could be being honest.

EyeSaidTheFly · 14/08/2018 08:58

Hebemumsnet
Too little too late. The islamophobic bullying has been going on for days now. I am extremely disappointed in your lacklustre response.

LassWiADelicateAir · 14/08/2018 09:04

I didn't take any account of what Candy was saying. I don't know if it is true or not. It makes no difference to my view.

I think the burqa and niqab should be banned. The OP didn't explain why she wore it other than it made her closer to her god. She seemed entirely unaware or unwilling to even consider the wider implications of her choice.

Her choice is just one end of the line where the other end is choosing to be a prostitute or a stripper or for that matter a porn star with porn star lips. All are saying women's bodies are so shameful and lust provoking they must be covered up or so shameful and lust provoking they must be displayed naked.

Why wearing it should make her closer to her god was not explained given billions of Muslim men and Christians and Jews of all sects and denominations don't need this. It seemed to me little more than an
ostentatious display of piety.

I also don't follow her explanation about the need for anonymity when she changed from being the only person who wore it to one of a group of 50. As others have said she should not be going about her daily business interacting with others, completely unidentifiable.

Sweetsongbird1 · 14/08/2018 09:12

Ilovemy traditionally they were never black. The black is a very recent addition.

drspouse · 14/08/2018 09:24

The two contrasting women who wear niqab on this thread make me think of women who are traditional Catholics and use no artificial birth control. Maybe this is less common now but I've heard from several women in the last 10-20 years in the first category.

One is educated, does it because she wants to accept God's blessings as and when they come. She says that it's actually very effective if used properly. Her husband respects her decision and goes along with abstinence when it's not a "safe" time.

The other has an abusive husband, possibly in a developing country, and "no wife of mine will go against the church". She tries to keep track of safe times as the priest says it should definitely work, but her husband isn't cooperative but also after a new baby, she can't really track her cycles anyway.

It's the former one who speaks about how beautiful and effective natural family planning is.

Sweetsongbird1 · 14/08/2018 09:25

What upsets me most about the Niqab and burka is the push for normalisation it in the U.K. when so many women around the world have died trying to fight back against wearing it.

Yes we do have choice in the U.K. but women should stand up a choose not to wear it because of the extreme measures pushed on them in other countries to were it.

I’m not surprised our government is happy to sit back and watch this normalisation of extreme religious measures in the U.K. when they are doing so many snide back door arms deals with the M.E states that are pushing the extremist views.

It really is so much more than just a women having a ‘choice’ (in the U.K.)

drspouse · 14/08/2018 09:27

By the way I live near a private Islamic girls school. Some girls board and they have to wear niqab when they go out in town. It's in their uniform regulations. No choice on their part.

Ilovemypantry · 14/08/2018 09:41

Sweetsongbird1
Why black though?