I wear a niqab! AMA

[JamTea]

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

@TheCountryGirl

If you can't answer I can only assume you don't know!

@Bluntness100

Somethings not right here.

@Sweetsongbird1

In fact I’m more inclined to doubt the op tbh, the ‘we’ in her last post, to me insinuates, she is part of society that doesnt wear them and has preconceived ideas...

@CoteDAzur
You on the other hand, OP....

Rock climbing and abseiling in your niqab which is no bother at all in hot weather, you say? hmm

You just made that up.

After your many questions, you have all finally shown your true colours (it is a shame I spent so much time giving you the benefit of doubt and spent so much of my sleep time to answer your questions). You have formed quite a group on this thread but please note you are NOT going to scare me away by attempting to intimidate me. I have been on MN for years. I am tough. And if you think some subtle bullying is going to drive me away, then think again.

Niqab is a cultural tool specifically used to control women. Its no coincidence that the cultures that enforce it are the ones most repressive to women. Saudi Arabia for example. Whereas as other muslim countries ban it entirely, like Morocco and Azerbaijan.

It's not mentioned at all in the Qur'an, and only mentioned in the hadith to state that its either not needed or not allowed.
There is no religious basis for the wearing of niqab, only cultural.

@Growingboys

That's what this thread reminds me of.

Well I am here and I have written pages now, so hopefully you'll be convinced I am very real.

If you can see some of the nasty comments people have made about me on this thread (and I have created many many threads on MN and never been at the end of receiving such comments), I am not surprised Muslim women who wear niqab are reluctant and hesitant to want to speak to the media.

Please also note this signatory from 100 women who wear niqab:

news.sky.com/story/100-women-who-wear-niqab-or-burka-demand-boris-johnson-be-kicked-out-of-conservative-party-11467011

@Treasure114

OP, were you born into a Muslim family or have you converted to Islam?
Thanks!

Hi :) Born.

@fontofnoknowledge

One of my big puzzlements is that people of different religions and cultures come to live in the U.K. for numerous reasons but the main one is surely because they simply prefer it to the oppressive practices and cultural behaviours abounding in their country of origin (and I am really proud that our country offers safe haven to those in that situation) - yet they often continue those practices when here , preventing an ability to mix and absorb our culture along with theirs.
I also have to ask - if you believe that your Niqab makes you more pious , then why would you want to live in the uk with all its crop-top bearing non pious women when their are many many countries where your religious requirements do not set you apart and would surely make you more comfortable.
Unless you like the attention?

I don't like attention, I never have. I live here because it is my home. I am a third generation Brit. I don't have another home or country to go to. I am Brit through and through. Where do I go to if I leave England? And why would I want to, I absolutely love it here, and this is my country and home!

@Broussard

If you have a question, please ask it. But can you please stop repeating the same comment over and over again on this thread. You are welcome to create your own thread where you can repeat it as many times as you like.

@Sweetsongbird1

Tbh I missed the tucking the Niqab in whilst rock climbing bit😂😂 yeah it’s gotta be a piss take, ffs!

I didn't say i tucked my niqab in. I tucked my jilbab into my trousers. It really isn't that unusual or bizzare. There's no need to mock just because you are not hearing what you want to hear.

@Dumbledoresgirl

Is this you OP? Nope not me

My question is why are you pretending to be shocked that women are forced to wear niqab/hijab etc? Why are you minimising and dismissing other womens horrible experiences?
And why do you keep saying your religion encourages wearing of when that is a minority viewpoint amongst muslim scholars?

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar

OP, how dare you troll after Candy’s posts? You should be fucking ashamed of yourself!

Why have you all so quickly jumped to the conclusion that I am troll? Why is it so far fetched in your minds that my experience is true? Why can't you believe? Do you think you came with much pre-conceived ideas about niqab to this thread, and are finding it very hard to digest a narrative that doesn't fit in with your expectation?

@bonkers22

I'm quite uncomfortable as some of the comments on here! Especially the picture. If i was go get a picture of a Christian nun all covered up or a Jewish woman with the sheitel (wig) or the men with the curls, would we also laugh about these..?

I'm so glad someone has pointed this out. It is offensive and I have hesitated to say this until now, but it is coming across rather Islamophobic.

@Pornstarlips

@candysuger i am a muslim and have many cousins and relatives and I can honestly say that the women that i know wouldnt put up with the shit you are putting up with. The muslim women I know stand up for themselves, have a decent career and know their minds. Not all muslim women are under the thumb.JUST WANTED TO POINT THAT OUT.

I am so glad you pointed this out. I hope the other Muslim women on MN (and I know there are many) will pick up on her comment about "majority of Muslim women being abused" and make clear that just isn't the case.

@Sweetsongbird1

No JamTea you don’t feel sympathy for other forced women - if this post is genuine, you don’t give a shit.

Spare me your demeaning comments. You don't have a right to tell me who I do or do not feel sympathy for. I know my own mind, thank you very much.

@Home2018

These posts are descending into full on racist and I won't mince my words and call it anything else.

Thank you so much, finally some common sense! I can't believe MNers had it in them to be so nasty and racist.

Candy, if your posts are real I'm very sorry that my propaganda radar is strong. I would seriously urge you to walk in your sister's foot steps and understand the best thing you can do for your children is model the life and relationship you would want them to have. Children mostly learn from what we do, not what we say. However, for the benefit of the doubt I am going to ask HQ to check your posts as some, including me, might see your posts as suspiciously convenient. Again, if I am wrong please forgive me and keep posting here in the future for support and strength.

@Cupcakes12

Did u ever think about not wearing the veil

Yes and I have taken it for periods too and worn it again. It was mainly when I was concerned about my safety, which was linked to periods where there was either an attack or EDL coming to town etc.

@Sweetsongbird1

Saudi Arabia DOES impose a strict dress code ffs. Which is enforced by religious police. Why do you know so little about your culture?

I am NOT Saudi. Why are you assuming I am Saudi? And Saudi Arabia does not impose niqab, it imposes a jilbab (it doesn't even impose a hijab). Do you even know the difference?

@Sweetsongbird1

JamTea in your second post you said in your community very little people wear a niqab, now you say in your last post 50 people wear one - in a close nit community - like a little village....

50 out of a population of around 30,000 Muslims is less. What I meant by the close knit community like a village is that the community is very close knit. in certain areas especially, people do know each others business a lot, hence I described it as village like feeling, where everyone knows what everyone is up to. That is the way the community is setup.

I am going to call it a night now! I felt a bit pressured to be honest to go on till this long as many were doubting I had the intelligence (?) to answr the questions, and kept repeatedly accusing me of being a troll! Well MN headquarters can clarify it in the morning if needed. I plan to sleep in tomorrow morning and then want to go out shopping so will probably not check in till Tuesday (thought I'd make clear in advance again so I am not accused of being a troll and liar).

@Broussard

And why do you keep saying your religion encourages wearing of when that is a minority viewpoint amongst muslim scholars?

THE FOUR MAJOR IMAMS IN SUNNI ISLAM BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER FOR MUSLIM WOMEN TO WEAR NIQAB. IN FACT TWO OF THEM BELIEVE IT IS COMPULSORY FOR WOMEN TO WEAR NIQAB WHEN IN PUBLIC. IF YOU HAVE EVIDENCE WHICH PROVES THE FOUR IMAMS DIDN'T SAY THAT, BRING IT FORWARD TO ME.

TO EVERYONE ELSE: Sorry for the caps. I am fed up of saying the same thing over and over again and people Islam-plaining to me my own religion. If you haven't got a question, kindly buzz off and make your own thread.

OP please don't pay mind to @Broussard @CoteDAzur and a couple other very rude posters that are deliberately being obtuse.
OP has said from what I've read - NO country has banned niqab. So quit asking her about hijab.Those questioning HER understanding of HER own faith. How patronising!!

@Candysugar like a couple other posters, if you are a genuine poster, I would say get help ASAP!!
However, like in other threads (eg formula milk vs breastfeeding, vaxxers vs non, pro Israel vs antisemitic), there's always a cartel of posters trying to push an agenda. Asking same questions over and over while a couple others reply them.

OP I'm sorry you've had to endure the rudeness here and more abuse in the real world. My question to you is, is the niqab the ultimate way to please God? Whenever I see a woman in niqab, my default is to feel sorry, but from your thread, your resolve is admirable and it's clear this is YOUR choice. As a survey of all women in niqab may not be feasible, how best can we ascertain this is the same for the other women? If I meet a woman in niqab, what should be my opening line be? I've caught my tongue several before blurting our, it's hot isn't it?😁

The questions on this thread are actually hilarious. The OP can't do anything right. No one will believe what she is saying as it doesn't fit the narrative of the poor abused and oppressed woman.

Why would her husband look through her phone? Do your husbands check up on you? But because she is Muslim, her husband must be looking through hers and rewriting her answers? This is actually laughable.

I have a Muslim colleague (who doesn't cover her head) and every time somewhere around the country gets bombed or someone decided to blow themselves up, she's actually fearful of walking down the streets, even with us white colleagues next to her. She's stared at for being asian, stared at because people assume she is a Muslim. How scary must that be?!

In our line of work she is asked about Muslim grooming gangs, yet I am never asked about jimmy Saville, Fred the weatherman or any other white paedophile and there have been MANY. Honestly it's just laughable the way we treat Muslims in this country then we wonder why they are becoming secular.

Punctuation and autocorrect issues. Just woke up. Sorry.

You’re right OP it’s interesting that one story is believed but yours is not.

There have been several AMA threads regarding Islam which have all gone this way.

It’s also interesting that many posters hold muslim women responsible for abuse etc because of what they wear, but not the men who actually abuse. Similarly, I noticed on other AMA threads, it is the the women who are expected to answer or apologise for muslim men not adhering to dress codes and other rules.

Of course not all Muslim women are under the thumb. However, from my experience with Muslim friends, it is not at all uncommon for the women to be controlled by their menfolk. What candysugar says does resonate with my friends’ experiences, down to women getting beaten for not obeying the men’s take on Islam. One of my friends has a child with autism in the family and some of he family believe the disability was caused by giving the child a name that brought bad luck and are trying some strange things to “cure” the child. It is very sad.

I also have friends who grew up in Muslim households who now don’t practise their religion at all, but have not been rejected by their families.

@ Bonkers exactly! I'm absolutely flabbergasted by the replies and couldn't read past some point. These are her views.

Then again, if this thread makes the DM, this can't be what they post. Why doesn't OP accept she is being forced!!!? 😁 DM we see you.

@JamTea - I'm glad that you enjoy sports like rock climbing and abseiling. I was astounded that you do it in traditional dress with a niqab. I've never seen or heard of such a thing. Then someone posted the image which I genuinely think is mad - it's too dangerous in floppy clothes like that. I'd say the same if it was nuns or someone in a bridal outfit. That was not intended to be racist, just amazed at inappropriate gear for outdoor activities. Thank you.