I’m in an open marriage AMA

[TigersEyes]

Or not! But if you have any questions, I’m happy to answer.

Lot of judgement here. It's not for me and DP but I can see how it works and respect it. I think a lot of marriages could do with this actually.

Its very strange in my view that you are happy (on the face of it) that your H is in love with someone else. I can't help but think that has an effect on the family dynamic. The reality of "being in love" is that you want to spend time with that person, if something funny / upsetting / interesting happens in your life, you want to tell that person, you want to "share". There is no way on any analysis that time spent with that person/ talking to that person / thinking about that person reduces the amount of time that you spend with your wife & children. Just the simple logistics of you dating 2 other men (besides your H) and presumably the time your H spends with his other partner must impact your children.

How would you feel if your Children's teachers or their friend's parents saw you with one of your other partners?

Do you think that your children's peers might tease them about you and your husband?

Oh, another question.

Have you ever picked out/chosen a date for your dh? Or encouraged him to go for someone because you could tell she fancied him.

I can remember the uproar when John Lennon had his gf, according to media he'd done the dirty on Yoko.
Apparently, she had fixed them up because he needed inspiration for his new album and the song "Starting over" Says a lot for his lack of talent if he couldn't write without shagging on the side
Not equating this to you OP, just think Beatles /JL/PM were so over rated.

@crazycatgal, that’s actually happened. I was spotted out with my boyfriend. The person came to me, threatening to tell my husband about my ‘affair.’ We talked and I explained everything. There’s been no teasing of my children as a consequence.

@dontbringmedown, of course there isn’t a way without asking.

@ToDarnHot, no we didn’t try swinging, and yes, there may be people coerced. I would react to them the way I would react to any friend with marriage troubles, through kindness and support.

@RomanyRoots, I trust DH more than I trust anyone else. Because we share everything now. In a way we never did before. The idea of either of us having an affair is laughable, We are not perfect and don’t pretend to be, but we genuinely want the best for each other.

@namechangedtoday15, as I have tried to respectfully say throughout, an outsider’s opinion is not my reality.

Do you have sex in your home with someone you're dating or their marital home? Is the spouse there? As in in the house?

I appreciate its not your reality but that's not really addressing the point is it?

I understand that polyamory means being in love with more than one person. But there is still a hierarchy in your relationship.

Do you ever worry that your husband might decide he loves this other woman more than you, and decides he wants her to be his married partner, and you to be just the person he dates outside his marriage?

Good for you OP. I was worried I wouldn't love my second child as much as my first. Turns out I can love more than one just fine. I love more than one friend; they enrich my lives in different ways. I can imagine being able to love multiple sexual, or even romantic partners at the same time. I've never loved two lovers in the exact same way in my life, so it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that two different romantic loves could coexist. Some people sadly caught up in affairs will even tell you that's what they're feeling. Some would have every man and woman idolise and chase a love that excludes all others, but I think that's a bizarre and contrived thing for a lot of people who simply weren't built to work that way.

No questions from me but just wanted to say I admire your strength to lead your life the way you want to.

In some cultures it is accepted that men can go out and have multiple wives and families but not the wives which I have never understood.

I think you are being more honest and authentic than a lot of smug couples.

What does unicorn mean?

@namechangedtoday15, you’re saying that my actual lived experience of my life vs. your opinion of my life as a stranger isn’t addressing the point?

@OneShotFinch, honestly? No. But that’s not saying it won’t hapoen. But I really can’t live today based on the fears of what might or might not happen tomorrow.

@Bluntness100, I’ve answered this unthread.

*upthread

I thought a unicorn was a single female, willing to have sex with people

Did you, sorry, I thought you just said the poster made an erroneous assumption and then moved on.

@ChipsAndMoreChips, a unicorn is a bisexual person (generally female) who a couple hook up with as their third person and treat as a plaything. Unicorn hunting is very much frowned upon.

sounds fun

@Bluntness100, I said to another poster that I don’t have sex with other people in my home and the poster to whom you’re referring was wrong to presume I haven’t had sex in another married couples’ home. What’s your confusion here? Genuine question,

@RomanyRoots, I have definitely introduced DH to people I thought he would fancy, yes. If someone makes me laugh, chances are they’ll make him laugh too and we both fun laughter a huge aphrodisiac.