Is sex a forgotten pleasure

[cce427]

I joined here after reading a thread about mums who needed sex, dont get me wrong I am not a sexual pedature but a 62 year old who misses it so much and has so much to give. can travel but cannot accomadate hehe. any ladies in sussex fancy a tickle xxx

Fuck me, it's Ken Dodd.

.

Well thanks, this thread will serve as my contraceptive for the next 5 years.

This tickling, does it involve a feather duster? Because the bits round the tops of the doors in my hallway need dusted and I can't reach. If you're dying to wield the feather duster, maybe this could work out ok.

You moved out of Hull then Brian?

Form an orderly queue, Mumsnetters. No scuffling at the back there.

OP, are we talking West Sussex or East here? We've had some enquries about how far you'd be preared to travel.*

• We haven't had any of these really.

I’m rubbish at dusting. Can you help with that?
N.B. I’m not in Sussex.

Actually that's a good point treacle. The hot weather has caused a rapid decline in the quality of housework around here so anyone willing to wave a feather duster about might be a bonus.

Move out of the way Hebe
I was here first!

Google 'tinder' and try again there.

Staff perks, HatTip, getoutofit!

Stop it!!!
I’m already being tickled (by this thread lol)

^^
Come back OP and tell us more!

Love that mnhq are getting involved in taking the piss!!

How very dare you, Potato! I have never been more serious about a tickle in my life!

Has he offered a sexual pedicure?! That's quite a USP isn't it? There must be a business idea in here somewhere. .

Right, all those of you in East Sussex who want a sexual pedicure, let us know. We'll draw up a separate list for West Sussex. Anyone out of area, please see Brian from Hull.

What about those of us who are London based? I feel so left out! And extremely disappointed

I did wonder why I kept getting my post to Brian in Hull returned. Clearly relocated without letting loyal customers know.

Ha! This is comedy gold. Please don't delete it. I can't wait for the future comments.

I actually can't believe some fella has offered his balls up on a plate. On MUMSNET. It's gunna get reaaaallllll messy. I can tell.

You can all go in front of me... I’ll be at the back of the (hopefully very long!) queue removing my spleen with a blunt hacksaw blade!

This takes me back to the days of Flicking the Bean

Nothing like a good jack russeling and some improbably anatomical contortions to make a thread.

Tickling?! Pshaw! Amateur!

I'm just over the border in Hampshire - probably only an extra 50p in fuel and my toes could do with a little filing and fondling

OurMiracle: come on, show a bit of willing! If you can make it to Surrey we're sure the OP will be happy to meet you halfway. There are direct Hull trains from London though. Blimey... there's always ONE who wants it all on a plate isn't there?!

He has at least given a brilliant idea to Mumsnet. You should change the name to Mumssex (a possible name for another county?) and see where it takes you us.

DanielCraigsUnderpants, we'll pop you on the WEST Sussex list if that's ok. Worse case scenario, we can send you a list of the nearest Premier Inns to the border.