I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

[hijabijabi]

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

She said “not allowed”...

I think you misunderstood WhatthePuck.
I, like DieAntword understood from OP's post also that '...Muslim men are NOT allowed to harass women who are uncovered '
So they should not harass ANY women.

Sadly not all of them adhere to the rules.

Just as non Muslims don't all adhere to their religious values- eg - paedophile priests, sexual predators of all religions.

I do think it's a pity that its perceived that Muslim men can't control themselves so females have to cover up.

OP - apologies I read wrong

One question that I do want to ask you is what did you feel that Islam was giving you that you didn’t already have that you could do by yourself? Was it the only religion that you considered?

When I was in Peshawar, Northern Pakistan many years ago, travelling with another girl, we had the following issues -

• A member of staff in a hostel jumping into a shower cubicle with me. That was a shock.

• “Spyholes” in the walls of hostel rooms.

• Being asked if we were married every five minutes.

• Being told to buy two seats on buses and sit to the rear to avoid proximity / gaze of men

When we arrived to teach English in a village in the NW Frontier Province I was -

• Groped by a man while climbing a mountain

• Followed regularly in the street, not very subtly

• Few men directly approached me in the village but they all perpetually stared as if they had never seen a woman in their lives. Sometimes I wore a burqa, but it was still obvious I was not a local as the women never walk the streets anyway.

• In the end, I had to pretend I was married to a Spanish man who was also staying in our compound (looking for the “Widman” which was a kind of Yeti) and wear a burqa as well, just to feel reasonably comfortable walking to and from the school and in general.

• On several occasions, when trying to buy internal flights with PIA, the official told me he would bump me to the top of the queue (there was a waiting list due to bad weather and no radar) if I went out for dinner with him.

Societies in which women cover their faces / heads do not discourage men from harassing women - it is the total opposite in my experience. I have never had so much hassle in my life! The men are literally desperate, to the extent they have no idea how to interact with women outside their families in any reasonable manner. It’s a massive uneccessary drama and waste of energy all round, in my opinion. There are enough issues in life as it is, why create more by expectations over arbitrary clothing habits. The less women are allowed to move about freely, the more danger there is when they do.

What are the practcal everyday manifestations of men being asked to lower their gaze? Seems to me that they are largely deemed ok as they are, but women have to take aversive action and conceal more.

I fear it is not just arbitrary clothing habits but the profound antifeminist doctrine that seems to course theough many religions. The clothes are just a symbolic expression of internalised female control.

I think going back to the time of the Profet , Muslim women were expected to dress differently from the local women. The way way women covered distinguished them from the slave women at the time, so possibly a status symbol rather than an oppression.
It’s worth pointing out that not every Muslim woman sees the headscarf as an obligation. It really only refers to a small passage in the Koran about believing women covering their boobs with the scarf. Also it is usually only seen as an obligation for young women. As soon as a woman reaches an age not deemed attractive to men then usually it is seen as optional. The age of invisibility I suppose.
The thing with the headscarf, although not the most important part of the religion, if a women does not wear it , particularly if she is a convert, then she is often not recognised as a Muslim by the ummah

I can see that some people would say the hijab gives them.power by intimating that men are not to stare at them and taking sexuality out of the equation.

But... i kind of think that sexuality is normal.amd natural. We dont need to avoid it as much as reframe it to be respectful of women. Wearing a hijab to me just seems like giving in to patriarchy.

OP, I do apologise if I sound confrontational, but there is another aspect of Islam that has always troubled me deeply. As a vegetarian, I don’t like to think about slaughter practises as U find it am very distressing, but, in particular, the fact that halal animals are not allowed to be stunned before they are killed, is utterly despicable, in my view. Why? I heard it is because the animal needs to be conscious for the prayer, as well as facing Mecca.
How can people put faith before basic humanity and common sense? I just can’t get my head around this at all.
Surely any god would wish to reduce the suffering of animals as much as possible? Otherwise what is the point of god at all if he doesn’t even allow people to be humane?

I’m interested in a remark you made early on about the reason for covering, hijabijabi, namely:

the reason given by Allah is to be identifiable as Muslim not harassed - I experience the benefits of both of those things.

in light of your more recent comment:

Muslim men are not allowed to harass women who are not covered.

Combining these statements suggests that you think a ‘belt and braces’ approach is better because men cannot always be relied on to fulfil their obligations as regards women if they are uncovered.

This brings me to wonder –

How would you feel if non-Muslim women were to decide to wear similarly styled head coverings without any intention of reverting to Islam? Would you feel it was an example of cultural/religious appropriation and be unhappy about it or would you be relieved that more women were choosing to cover, even if this meant the hijab would no longer be a marker of Muslim identity?

I’m not sure stunning is more ethical. Is being electrocuted really deemed pleasant?. Halal slaughter was created to be more ethical then other slaughter practices at the time. Certainly modern day farming and slaughter imo is more cruel.

@iniquity "It really only refers to a small passage in the Koran about believing women covering their boobs with the scarf. Also it is usually only seen as an obligation for young women. As soon as a woman reaches an age not deemed attractive to men then usually it is seen as optional. The age of invisibility I suppose."

I've seen women of all ages covered in various head coverings but I find the idea that it is about whether women are attractive or not quite worrying. At what age do the young girls/young women start wearing it?

I respect everyone's right to follow a religion. I'm Christian and I've met Christian women who wear head coverings to church.

I just find there are a lot of conflicting messages about covering up generally for women but as adult women can they make free choices. If under 18 girls wear the headscarf, is it a free choice for them?

Sorry I expect this has already been covered. Sorry for the pun!

Hi Op,
Very interesting thread that I have been thinking about.
I think you say somewhere that men treat you with more respect when you wear the hijab, I can't find that bit now. Could that be because they assume you are obeying your DH's or DF's demands, respecting the men in your life, hence the change in attitude of the men/work colleagues (I think it was)? Rather than in increase in respect for you as an individual.

I think the hostility / aggression on this thread (not uncommon on threads about religion) is unwarranted. Thank you for your perspective OP.

I understand the adoption of the hijab as a personal expression of faith. People express their faith in many different ways and objectively a hijab is not necessarily oppressive per se IMO. Although clearly the hijab is politically and culturally loaded given how covering up women has been used / misused in different countries under what I would consider to be oppressive and mysoginistic systems.

What I would find personally troubling is the suggestion that wearing the hijab in the UK is more than just an expression of faith but means that the wearer is treated with more 'respect'. (OP from your posts I understand that you consider that this should not be the case, but in practice recognise that it is). In these circumstances I would find it challenging to wear the hijab - because it would make me feel complicit in such an attitude (rightly or wrongly). I expect to be respected with or without the hijab and would wish to feel I was 'earning' that respect with a hijab and giving men permission to distinguish between women based on their attire. I appreciate that that is not what you are doing but if that is the side effect - would it trouble you?

Sorry. I've had a quick read and am intending to address the questions but have a busy day at work so it will be later on. There are some interesting and challenging questions here, which I'll enjoy having a good think about!

George and famous - As I understand it, in Islam men are perceived as the guardians and maintainers of women and women are required to avoid bringing shame on the family (or husband) by covering in public, among other behaviours. Women are conditioned to believe that submitting to the husband or father in daily life is to demonstrate submission to Allah. Sorry if I’ve got that wrong OP, but that how I understood it. So yes, this is why the hijab would attract respect from Muslim men because it demonstrates submission to men and by extension god and that you are more virtuous for doing so. The Christian Church has similar attitudes, but I think Christians have always interpreted the bible less literally because it’s presented more as stories and parables rather than the “direct word of god”.

s I understand it, in Islam men are perceived as the guardians and maintainers of women and women are required to avoid bringing shame on the family (or husband) by covering in public, among other behaviours. Women are conditioned to believe that submitting to the husband or father in daily life is to demonstrate submission to Allah.

Technically that's purdah which is a cultural feature of many (but not all) Islamic cultures (but pre-dates Islam) some Hindus also practice it.

@Vashna lots of Christian's do think that the Bible is the word of God, but it is interpreted differently by different Christians.

We have different versions, different language versions and different versions within a language group.

As far as I am aware the Koran is only available normally in Arabic. Correct me if I am wrong, please, OP.

Sorry you are having a busy day, @hijabijabi glad that you will get back to us when you can.

The Koran may only have one version but there's a lot of different interpretations. Then there's the hadiths and everything else. Like an Ismaili and the Twelvers are about as different as a Quaker and a Catholic - and that's only Shia's, not even considering the Sunnis.

Clionba I don't know whether the intention is to be explicit - but as women have to cover more parts than men it's more obvious. In terms of the school playground we again have the issue that the dress code doesn't need to be followed until puberty.

bean and others. Covering up is a protection from unwanted attention from ALL men, not just Muslims. Muslim men are commanded to avert their gaze and be respectful to ALL women, not just covered women.
Unfortunately, culturally much of this has fallen on the shoulders of women, and many Muslim men seem to have forgotten their role in this, but if you go back to the sources the burden is clearly shared equally.

whatthe
I knew of other religions, having attended of C of E school, some ideas about Buddhism etc. But I certainly didn't lay the religions of the world out in front of me and think 'which one shall I choose'. It was more than Islam was the only one the drew me further in, to a point where I couldn't turn back.
It gives me inner peace (don't really like that term but I can't think of a better one) and a sense of fulfilment that I never felt before. Ultimately, I believe in Allah and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and everything else follows on from that. There are so many things I love about being Muslim, and I wouldn't swap with my previous lifestyle for all the money in the world, but ultimately that all extends from belief.

vashna
I visited the same area and had the same experiences (can't be that many of us who have from the UK!).
I was appalled by the way the women were treated. They are basically considered criminals from the day they are born.
I met men from that area who hated the treatment of women, but it is so risky to stand up to it and they were limited in what they could do.
It seems to be an excellent example of why Islam advises us to 'follow the middle way'. Islam asks women to take certain measures in the way they present themselves in public, and then get on with their lives. In my husbands home country (which I don't want to mention as I would rather stay anonymous) this is exactly what I see. Women taking part in society, men respecting them. Making out that women are committing a sin by walking down the street is not the middle way, and is not a part of the Islamic faith.

ohno I think I've covered that in an earlier post, the responsibility should be with both men and women.
I also think this is illustrated in the way the story of Adam and Eve is told within the Islamic faith. They were equally responsible for tasting the forbidden fruit, unlike in Christianity where Eve led Adam into sin.

iniquity it's certainly true that as a convert, the hijab ensures that I'm easily identifiable as Muslim and that makes life easier for me.