I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

[hijabijabi]

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

Aswad

Exactly. The agressive agenda based questions just result in closing down the discussion. It’s pointless and annoying for those of us who are genuinely interested in trying to understand the OPs point of view.

These threads offer a unique way to ask questions that you can’t ask in real life but you need to be respectful to the OP even if you disagree with her choices. This is a chat forum and the OP can do what she wants.

Thanks Crystal and aswad. Yes it is clear which posters have a genuine desire to increase their understanding

Mrs, to be fair cousin marriage isn't an Islamic issue.islam doesn't recommend cousin marriage, just allows it, as in UK law. I also think you might be exaggerating it's impact on the NHS, compared to other societal causes of illness, such as alcohol. But I think educating people about the potential consequences of repeated cousin marriage would help people to make informed decisions.
Vashna, no I wouldn't be happy if dh took a second wife. This was discussed and included in our marriage contract. It's not something he wanted either. But I do think there are times and places where it serves a function. It also ensures that where men are having multiple relationships.the women involved are equally acknowledged and have rights. Unlike when married men have affairs.

Posters claiming to be interested in and worried about oppressed women harrasasing a woman they claim to be oppressed is ridiculous, op you are coping very well

mrsjayy no one thinks she is oppressed.

What people are saying is that she's colluding in the oppression of women who aren't in her privileged position.

As this makes very clear:

I wouldn't be happy if dh took a second wife. This was discussed and included in our marriage contract. It's not something he wanted either. But I do think there are times and places where it serves a function.

How convenient!

hijabijabi that's very interesting about your marriage contract and the discussion of other wives. I had no idea that would be discussed in the UK where polygamy is illegal, so I'm guessing it's an "unofficial" extra marriage. Did you also discuss the likelihood of you taking another husband?

Yes op I'd really like to know what are the times and places where (having multiple wives) serves a function.

1. What is that function?

2. Why is it something you wouldn't want but is fine for other women?

3. do you think they are freely choosing this?

4. Why don't women get to have multiple husbands?

Do humans and apes have common ancestors?

When it's windy do you feel really smug, because I know I would?!

Every time I walk down the road with my hair whipping around my face from the wind, I see muslim women walk past and think sometimes, the hijab is a good idea.

Slightly flippant I know, but there has to be some advantages (other than meeting the requirements of your faith).

OP, my DH is British Iranian but not Muslim which is why his family had to flee during the Revolution. We were discussing with some other Iranians the practice of “Mut’ah” recently. As I understand it, it’s a way for men to avoid the cost and commitment of multiple wives because they can declare “intent to marry” with temporary “pleasure wives” for a fixed period - eg. a couple of days or a few months. How widespread is this and does it apply to Sunni as well as Shia? Isn’t it just religiously sanctioned prostitution and what happens to the women if they become pregnant?

@Vashna Sunni don’t do mutah marriage but they have misyah as a similar kind of thing.

clionba we were living elsewhere when we married.

Right so you married in a Muslim country where your husband could take more wives?

clionba yes it's not common there but is legal.

gorgon

1. where marrying a woman could save her and her children from poverty and destitution, e.g. if the aftermath of war, where there is a shortage of men.
2. it's fine for other women if they want it, which many do.
3. some definitely do, some no doubt are forced into the situation, which is wrong.
4. Islam views women and men as intrinsically different, and so different laws apply to each.

gallicgirl yes! In fact, generally taking away the job of making my hair presentable on a daily basis is an added bonus.

sorry vashna I don't know much about that - I'm not aware of the sunni equivalent. In terms of if a women gets pregnant - if either party want a divorce, there is a 3 month waiting period to check if the woman is pregnant - so that suitable arrangements can be made if so.
At least that's the case in a normal marriage.

clionba your intent with this line of questioning is clear and I agree with you - as Muslims we should abide by the law of the country we are in, and so having multiple wives here isn't really an option.
People get round it by having an Islamic marriage only (not recognised in UK law) for the second marriage, but as this makes the 2 wives unequal this is wrong.

4) Islam views women and men as intrinsically different, and so different laws apply to each.

Yes, for example the word of one male witness is worth the same as two women. Because men are viewed as intrinsically superior to women in Islam. Not just 'different'.

Why, as a woman, would you voluntarily opt into a system where you absolutely are inferior to any man?

Another question OP, if you don’t mind. I realise that there is nothing in the Quran that refers to FGM in any shape or form and that this is predominantly a cultural practice.Yet in the Muslim nation if Egypt, I was utterly shocked to read that 91% of women aged 18-45 have undergone FGM!! It’s routine in hospitals. What the hell is going on there and why does Islam permit this barbaric practise in a Muslim nation?

Vashna, that is shocking, I have no idea and there is no justification for it whatsoever. Islam does not 'permit it'.

Why do you choose to advertise the fact that you believe girls and women to be inferior and less important to boys and men?

Why go along with a system that sexualises young girls?

Why do you wear a piece of cloth that says "I believe homosexuality is a sin" to everyone who sees it?

Do you not feel your comment about if you had a daughter ‘would be expected to wear it, but I wouldn’t force her’ a bit of an oxymoron.
Also do you not have an issue being a woman with the notion of men specifically being rewarded with 72 virgins in paradise?

Which country follows the laws of Islam most legitimately?
Were you and your parents born in Britain?
How many times a day do you prey and what happens if you can't prey for whatever reason?

Pray not prey.