I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

[hijabijabi]

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

hijabi - yes I can understand how women in some parts of the Muslim world might perceive that “Western” women are left “doing it all.” DH and I are not Muslim, but do still have fairly traditional roles because of our upbringings / backgrounds, I guess and I do value that I’ve never had the pressure if him expecting me to rush back to work after DC came along. There is a explicit pressure on Muslim men to support their families which I think is being lost in Western society, where so many fathers dodge maintenance payments, or expect their wives to work full time and still carry the can at home.

That said, I would like my daughters to have the freedom to be whatever they want to be.

I don’t expect you to speak for the entire Muslim world obviously, but do you ever worry that whole the rest of the world is generally stumbling forwards in terms of human rights and prosperity, the Islamic world is being dragged back towards the Dark Ages by fundamentalists. What is the appeal of the Islamic State? Do you think Islam could be due a “Renaissance”, such as Christianity experienced centuries ago, to reinterpret it’s ancient scriptures in light of the modern world and human evolution? Humans are not what we once were, we have advanced as a species. How is it even possible that the nation of Saudi Arabia, with all its wealth and in 2018, can still justify public executiions of its citizens in the centre of its capital every weekend? Sharia was conceived at a time when humans knew no better. Now we have an understanding that humans can reform and that psychology is complex.

Why is it so easy for terrorists to hijack Islam and inflict so much misery in the world? I can’t be a Catholic simply because I can see how it’s been used over the centuries to justify hypocrisy, fear and imperialism. That’s enough for me to not be able to subscribe to it.

Surely the basic tenants of any religion are just common sense - treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself; respect animals and the environment, etc. All this focus on animals having to face Mecca for slaughter, whether or not to wear a scarf, etc is just human vanity and a distraction from what faith should be - simple and personal.

DieAntWord - the main difference is that my child would be wearing something underneath regardless of their gender. Can’t be said the same for a hijab - that’s the point

If a person regardless of whether they are your child or not, has to accept the belief themselves and not out of force or expectation, and not because their genitals say they have to cover up.
There are many people of many faiths (not just Islam) who do not wear the garments that they are ‘expected’ to and are far higher up in morals than those who do.
I know at least 2 young Muslim females who wear a hijab but have had sex before marriage. Their choice, but don’t then show ‘acceptance of Islam’ to everyone else - and one of them has been expected to wear a hijab since she was 10.

Yes, I don't know why you said they feel sorry for us working because they work too, very hard. I'm glad they have economic independence from men. It does reduce make exploitation and control.

male exploitation, sorry

clionba that's true, but they also have extended family so housework and childcare are shared.

vashna I would also encourage my daughters to be whatever they want to be. What's happening in the Muslim world, in terms of the so called 'Islamic state' etc is terrifying, and tragic in the impact it is having on the perception of Islam. I was talking to an older concert to Islam a couple of years ago, he converted in the 1970's, a time when Islam was seen more as a hippy thing. Our internal experience of conversion was the same, but the way it was perceived by others was worlds apart.
I'm not someone who knows about politics and would be way out of my depth in that kind of discussion, but I do think the rise of fundamental Islam is to with politics rather than religion. The people that join Isis are not Islamic scholars and Imams. They are troubled individuals - the same with people who have murdered innocent people in the name of Islam - look at who they are.
Places like Saudi Arabia give the impression that shariah is a rigid set of rules to be applied regardless of place and time. This isn't true. It's a framework that can be applied with wisdom in a way that will be most beneficial to society. The outer limit punishments were applied rarely in the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him). So for that reason I don't think we need an overhaul - Islam already gives us the option of applying the shariah with sensitivity.

Op you are still praising Sharia law. Did you look at the link to one law for all that I posted above?

This campaign is run by Muslim women and human rights activists. They are very clear:

Sharia Councils and Muslim Arbitration Tribunals are discriminatory,
particularly against women and children, and in violation of universal human
rights.

onelawforall.org.uk/about/

onelawforall.org.uk/resources/

Don't you feel any responsibility for learning about the reality of what you are publicly promoting?

And what it means for women and children born into Muslim communities?

This is not about Islamic State or Saudi Arabia. This is the UK now and these women deserve to be heard.

OP (and others): do you think Muslim women should/can do more to prevent radicalisation in our schools?

& related to that: what do you think of Muslims who refuse to let their children learn about other religions, or take part in 'non-muslim' activities at school?

thank you.

Do you accept that humans and chimpanzees share a common ancestry?

do you think Muslim women should/can do more to prevent radicalisation in our schools?

What do you expect them to do? Unless they're teachers or something then surely not radicalising their own children is pretty much the limits of their potential involvement?

what do you think of Muslims who refuse to let their children learn about other religions, or take part in 'non-muslim' activities at school?

The former is a bit sad but it's not the end of the world, their kids will have plenty of time and opportunity as adults to learn about these things, especially now with the internet. The second is fine. If you believe that Santa Claus is idolatry then it's reasonable to expect your children won't be forced to make little pictures of him in school which is not there to teach your kids about Santa.

wink I'm not sure what you mean by the first question. Do you mean that radicalisation actually occurs in schools or do you mean that what happens at home impacts upon schools? We all have a duty to educate our children and teach them how to live within this society is a positive way.
Your second question, I think that's they're perfectly entitled to do that. We judge each activity separately and make a decision.

Sorry. My answer to your second question refers mostly to joining in, it's important to learn about other faiths.

barthol I don't know.

DieAntword
I suppose I was rather hoping the answer would be that there is a proactive effort to report teachers who they feel are radicalising. I would extend that to reporting family members who they feel are going down a path that is dangerous to others. It might be that I just don't hear about it, that it is going on?

I'm pleased to hear hijabijabi's response that it's important to learn other faiths, but worry that some Muslim girls are not being allowed to take part in sports, for example.

and on the above point ^^ I would expect any mother/wife/sister to report this, including active far right members or fundamentalism from other religions (where that means said fundamentalism means the person wants to restrict the rights of others to live a different lifestyle).

I suppose I was rather hoping the answer would be that there is a proactive effort to report teachers who they feel are radicalising. I would extend that to reporting family members who they feel are going down a path that is dangerous to others. It might be that I just don't hear about it, that it is going on?

I can understand why they might not report family members - plenty of young people go through a rebellious phase where they experiment with ideas and worldviews that are not just shocking but even downright dangerous and many of them grow out of it perfectly well of their own accord. It is fairly usual for parents to react with denial in these cases as well. What would you do if your child decided to join the CPGB-ML or something? Sure they're not currently involved in terrorism on British soil but they fundraise for other unpleasant things and I'm sure they'd love to be were global circumstances different.

and on the above point ^^ I would expect any mother/wife/sister to report this, including active far right members or fundamentalism from other religions (where that means said fundamentalism means the person wants to restrict the rights of others to live a different lifestyle).

I'm not sure who you'd expect someone to "report" a Christian fundamentalist to - which in your terminology I assume means any Christian who thinks, say, gay marriage should not be recognised in law?

Hi DieAntword

I'd expect to report any radicalised person to the authorities - so for example a family member who I thought was planning to firebomb or deface a mosque/synagogue/church, or go 'p-word bashing', just as if I heard my son reading extremist websites or watching executions online. Authorities, by the way, not always meaning the police, perhaps a good Imam or Head Teacher, who can help.

I understand the 'denial' argument, by the way. I'm genuinely asking, not trying to provoke. Because Islamic Extremism terrorism remains an awful possibility on GB soil (and yes I am aware the bombs also kill Muslims when they go off) I personally look to see 'stronger' help or pro-action from my sisters. I'm not sure why I should think or expect that; again just musing / asking the question that others might want to ask.

I find it hard to believe that anyone would not report a teachet who was radicalising students! The problem is, I suspect this kind of thing is happening online rather than in mosques and schools (based on my open experience). I do remember a few years ago a young man who was expressing extreme views and several people from within the mosque raised their concerns with the police.
But supporting terrorism is so unacceptable to normal Muslims that I think these things go on under the radar. I think what Muslim women can do is reiterate basic messages of peace and respect to our children, and give them a good Islamic education. So that if they do come across the other messages, either online or elsewhere, they can see it for what it is.

It's an interesting point about finding such views in young people and what you would do in that situation. I can see why you might avoid reporting to the police as the hope would be that the young person could be educated and counselled out of that view, without a criminal record. I think my first port of call would be the parents to see if they were aware and taking it seriously. But given the potential consequences maybe that's not enough.

Apologies if this has already been covered.

Why should women be responsible for taming men's supposed desires by covering their hair? Aren't men responsible for not acing like predatory sex pests?

ohnothanks Exactly.

ohnothanks Islam does not claim that women are responsible for repelling men, rather both men and women are asked to 'lower their gaze', and both are required to adhere to a dress code. Muslim men are not allowed to harass women who are not covered.

The male dress code is indistinguishable from how most men in the West dress.
The female dress code is different and identifiable.
Look in a school playground. I'd be hard pressed to tell which boys are Muslim. You can spot the girls. Is that the idea? Girls and women have to be more explicit with the dress code?

OP You have been very open with your answers but..........

‘ Muslim men are not allowed to harass women who are not covered.’

Now where do I start?

1. Does that mean if I’m not wearing a hijab then it’s game for me to be harassed?

1. If your husband was ogling a woman then that’s a lesser evil because she’s not wearing a scarf?

1. A scarf is then essentially a sign that I am a Muslim so I’m not to be harassed so move on to the next

1. I as a woman am responsible for being harassed if I’m not covering my head?

OP Let me ask you this.

If I, and two of my neighbors leave our front doors open all day and the rest of the street keep their doors closed, then it’s ok for a criminal to walk in, hurt me or my family and take what he wants because I didn’t close my door????
Didn’t think so