ex prostitute here ask me anything

[Opheliah]

Has this one been done yet?

I am not Belle de Jour.

£30 doesn't seem like a lot of money to have someone wet farting in your face

Its a strange business. Prostitution takes many forms some more obvious than others. Many women give sex or their attentions to get what they want but we might not immediately identify them as whores.

Again we have the common media story of the pretty young thing who marries some fellow in his 80s who happens to be loaded.

Again we have pretty young things marrying much older slebs.. I'm sure others can think of much better examples but for instance, If Bruce Forsyth was a Barman at the throttled Frog public house in Bethnal Green ,do you think she would have even looked at him?

If a guy scrubs up, wears a sharp suit and drives a nice car he will likely get more attention than a guy in jeans and a united shirt .

Of course i must generalise..

Pa1oma, I considered replying to your previous posts but (at the risk of sounding like a patronising wanker) I didn't want to drag you back into a conversation you had deliberately left, so I'm glad you have posted.

I can absolutely see how you have those views towards prostitution, and I think we do actually have some very similar views.

At this stage I feel as if I would be dishonest to not tell you that I was also abused as a child.

While I am generally a very open person and I usually have no problem telling people I am a sex worker and I am an abuse survivor, in this context it is difficult. I completely agree with you when you say that childhood abuse will always manifest itself, and I have been in therapy for many years.

My past however does not mean that I am not able to make an informed decision, and it does not make me vulnerable.

I am not concerned with pushing any agenda of the 'happy hooker', I am only saying that I have the right to work in the sex industry, and in my experience the industry does not have to be damaging to women.

What I am most concerned with is ending the abuse of the sex industry by criminals.

£30 doesn't seem like a lot of money to have someone wet farting in your face

I wouldn't let someone wet fart in my face for £1000.

I did get asked to fart in a punters face once though, but getting paid £150 to fart in someones face is actually great fun

Yep,bring it on..! If anyone wants to pay me to fart in their face i shall undercut the prossies on here. Thats competition for you,,err,,as long as we dont sink below the national living wage

I have to agree with@Pa1oma and actually I would say yes being abused would normalise certain sexual behaviours.

I was not abused as a child but from 11 up had some unpleasant experiences and my sexual boundaries are - off. I am happy to flirt with anyone but do not feel emotional enjoyment of sex nor do I find it romantic. I guess I internalise sex being either naughty and fun or a punishment which o know isn't healthy.

That is coming from some pretty minor incidences like being felt up, blackmailed, manipulated and threatened by an older male and being in an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship - I imagine your boundaries being blurred even younger would in essence, make younormaluse certain behaviours and I don't mean that tone offensive @Yetanotherprossie . I don't doubt you're intelligent and self assured but our past effects all of us - not always consciously, but subconsciously.

If I wasn't disabled and fat I probably could do it tbh. But I wouldn't, because luckily I'm surrounded by those whom love me and would worry about me.

I guess I'm saying that we have free will but that free will is predetermined by our pasts and predispositions.

I'd also happily be paid to fart on someone of whip a man etc. If I could have a driver/security and have clients come in for me to hurt them I'd happily do it. I'm not a sadist but would hardly leave me feeling vulnerable and used.

Sorry if this sounds a bit intrusive but
What dI'd you do when you were on your period.

I have to agree with@Pa1oma and actually I would say yes being abused would normalise certain sexual behaviours.

Yes, I agree. Behaviour and our reactions to others' behaviour is learned and is not a conscious response.

I have been lucky enough to have had therapy for years though, and my boundaries are very firm and healthy. I have speculated with my therapist that perhaps I am able to dissociate from sex work because of my past.

Regardless of the reasons why, it does not harm me.

Sorry if this sounds a bit intrusive but What dI'd you do when you were on your period.

Beppy sponge tampons.

A guy can't feel them because they are soft and they stop bleeding being obvious. I never usually work on the first day of my period because I get crampy and uncomfortable but I quite often use sponges even when I'm not working because they are ridiculously comfortable.

Have you ever developed feelings for a regular a la Pretty Woman? No. That film is ridiculous.

Would you have regretted the job more had you contracted HIV? It's only on exiting the industry that I have thought more deeply about the incredible risks involved.

The parties sound like they could be pretty scarey op. And you said you have to do at least two a night? Not scary at all because all of the girls are together and there's a security guard and the manager around. You normally book yourself in for two or three in a 12 hour shift. The parties don't run every day. You all get paid a flat rate and clients pay a flat rate regardless of how many girls or clients are involved.

Would it be a group of friends or like random men or would they organise themselves through a sex club or somthing? It's random men, the men rarely know each other, well they do but only in the sense that they'll be regular visitors so familiar to each other.

Parties are actually more boring than it sounds. It's an opportunity for men to come and have a go with all different girls rather than pay for one booking with one girl in the flat but the girls on shift are shared for the duration of the time.

I thought the men were groups of friends rather than a random collection of men. I can't see why the men would want a party in that case?

I just finished watching secret diary of a call girl on amazon prime and the client list on Netflix, if you have seen them is it very similar to that? As seeing the lavish lifestyle and the fun they have is very intriguing and tempting to do it myself

So like an all you can eat buffet?

I was imagining a wild sex party orgy type thing.

Did any of the WG attend swingers clubs/parties Yes! The swingers clubs are something else, held in nightclubs with music etc a totally different environment to the "parties" I mentioned before. Swingers clubs are great fun and usually lead to a hotel visit or a booking.

The parties in flats involve blokes hanging around a kitchen, wearing a towel and popping into the bedrooms, waiting for another man to finish with a girl or just joining in with them, going to another girl or two, having a shower and a beer then leaving after 2 hours.
Not like an S&M club quite.

yetanotherprossie so sorry to hear about your past. You seem to be very held together, it can't be denied that experiences like that will shape your path though life. As it seems we both know.

I have been lucky enough to have had therapy for years though
yetanother
Have you paid for your therapist?

If you are in a relationship, if you found out that your partner had visited a WG, what would you do/feel?

Apologies if that has already been addressed.

YetAnother - Well I have to accept your perspective, of course. If you don’t mind me asking, do you think you would have been able to do prostitution if you had not suffered the previous abuse?

In my case, I had quite a traditional and rural upbringing. In the Catholic community, they tend to brush incest and sex abuse under the carpet. In early my teens, I struggled to say no to boys / men. I felt as if I had I had no agency when it came to sex- it was just something that was done to you, you switched off, went somewhere else and endured it. Luckily (in this respect) the Catholic guilt meant I largely steered clear of casual sex. Sex to me has never been separated from the emotional. If I’m with a man, I have to connect with him, mentally, emotionally and physically, otherwise I can’t be bothered and I’d just DIY. I’ve never used sex to gain advantages, though there were a few dodgy men in the dance /theatre industry who would insist on doing castings over “dinner”, etc. You learn to avoid putting giving off the wrong impression. One day when I was about 21 I decided no man would ever invade my space or take advantage of me ever again and that was that. I think my childhood influenced my choice of husband ultimately because I gravitated towards someone I felt could take care of me. I see that now I’m older. Since my 30s, I’ve had a high sex drive, I would say, but previously it was suppressed, I think. I still get emotive when I hear about women being used by men. I hear that you don’t see it that way, but it’s very difficult for me to comprehend or relate to that.

do you think you would have been able to do prostitution if you had not suffered the previous abuse? That's surely an unfair question to yet because it's impossible to answer. You can't hypothesise on your own experience if your own experience had never happened.

Yes I know Ophelia, sorry. I felt detached and kind of “numb” when it came to sex for so many years and I sometimes wonder if that was because of the abuse, or whether I would have felt that way anyway.

Did any of the WG attend swingers clubs/parties Yes! The swingers clubs are something else, held in nightclubs with music etc a totally different environment to the "parties" I mentioned before. Swingers clubs are great fun and usually lead to a hotel visit or a booking.

Do you think there were occasions when escrots frequented swingers clubs just to find new clients? Maybe they went o to hotel rooms and charged them for services?

At parties, do any of the men have difficulty getting an erection and performing in front of an audience? Its a far cry away from all that web porn.

There's no doubt that being sexually abused detaches you from sexual experiences and intimate situations overall, so you probably wouldn't have felt that way anyway. You don't really hear about people feeling detached and numb from sex unless they have been abused. It's quite a common trait in sex workers, it's not really talked about but I seriously suspect that many or even a majority of wg I've worked with have this background.
I'm glad you're in a better place now (Flowers).