ex prostitute here ask me anything

[Opheliah]

Has this one been done yet?

I am not Belle de Jour.

MycatsaPirate your experiences with streetworkers you describe are exactly the sorts of things that make me angry that sex work is so prevalent.
If people are hooked on drugs I actually think rather than sorting out women who have turned to prostitution (or men who turn to crime) in order to pay for their addiction, there should just be a completely legal drugs market which would be cheaper and drug addiction provisions such as access to free clean drugs on a monitored program.

It's awful when obviously young, obviously addicted women are bought for sex.

Are men's penises very different? Is there an average? Does ethnicity makes a difference?
Are there some tiny or very fat?
Thank you. I'm just curious

I'm not mathematician or biologist but I'll try to answer this... so, most men have average sized dicks (sorry for stating the obvious!) You get a few that are a lot lot bigger than average and a few that are "micro penis" but these guys I wonder if they don't see prostitutes as much, as I remember more "oh my god that's too big" moments than I do "oh that's too tiny" moments. Maybe bigger men like to show it off more or maybe I just remember that more!

I'm going to avoid coming across racist here so I'm not naming ethnicities but it is true men of certain ethnicities have really the biggest dicks I've seen, and certain ethnicities have "smaller than average". I think your genetics carries a lot of physical characteristics like nose size, penis size.

Sex is a physical reaction to a need men see sex as purely that sex, women use sex to get what they want

This is so offensive and misogynistic, I don’t even know where to start. That and the comment about men being “victims” of prostitution just as often as women are. Jesus fucking Christ.

Can I ask, do you think explaining and promoting the notion of the “happy hooker” is dangerous when the reality for most prostituted women is anything but?

Can you see how this makes people uncomfortable, given the wider scheme of things?

What do you think about sites such as “UK Punting” and do you think your attitude to women and sex is comparable to the views expressed by the men on that site?

Take responsibility for the reality of what you choose to do - the normalisation if women as commodities, the de-humanising of sex, the inherent misogyny you facilitate

I must say this is a fair point and it's very well expressed. But the choice i made to enter prostitution did not really exist in a vacuum. Without turning on a "woe is me" tap, as a victim of CSA (first blow job I gave at aged 5) and one in a society where selling sex is an easy way to make money, it was simply the path I took. I don't think it's realistic to expect WGs, personally, to take responsibility for dehumanising sex or the exploitation of other women.

The above was to Pa1oma sorry.

RoseWhiteTips
Sorry - haven’t read the full thread but what made you decide to jack it in?

(I must have missed a back story there between you and confussed ! )

It sort of just fizzled out. I never did it as a career choice and always had lots of other options and interest, only did it as a means to an end. Now I'm a mum and financially OK. And I'm old now.

essieestherson
So sorry you've been on the receiving end but thanks for not blaming or directing your anger towards the WGs.

Hi another question do you have a count of clients or it's not important?
How long it's the longest without sex?
Thank you

I only counted on a daily basis based on my income (if you've only had three that day but you need your 10 you need to book another shift the next day) I never kept an account of all the clients I've seen on a monthly/yearly basis.

Do you mean how long is the longest without sex in the booking? It really really varies on bookings some get it over with quickly, some like to spend 50 mins chatting then have a quickie before you have to leave. Some want to spend 60 minutes pummelling you.

I am so sorry to hear you were abused OP.

No it's OK I already regret mentioning it.

Hi sirlee66 !
What type of men typically used your services? Old, fat and ugly? Young, rich and attractive?
Every type of Man! The only similarly they all shared was they were the type to buy sex. I suppose another trait was they could afford the £45 or upwards. And working in a busy multicultural city you just get so many different types it's impossible.

How did you protect youself from STI's?
Always use condoms but they aren't 100% and they do split. There was a "password phrase" at the local GUM clinic given to WGs so you just say it and skip the queue. They don't ask your name/date of birth or anything. I have contracted STIs.

What was your first job like? I imagine very nerve-wracking, how did you prepare?
After chatting at the massage parlour I knew I was expected to have sex with men but I was OK with that. I prepped myself by imagining they'd all be really fit and lovely! The first client was a blobby middle aged guy and I spent a long time massaging his feet (for some reason!) until late he took charge. It was OK though because lots of girls in the house saying you'll be OK and offering advice because they knew it was my first time.

@Pa1oma you are exhausting some people were curious about the life of the OP and you made it into something completely different.
I just wish you left it alone. For me it was Q&A only.

Sorry, Colbu, but it’s not just about what you want. I’ve found Paloma’s contributions very interesting and it has taken the conversation to an interesting place. I think it’s interesting to see the difference between the views of women in the industry who have a lot of protection and choice next to the experiences of a child protection worker. I can’t begin to imagine the awful stuff she’s seen and in that role I believe she will have had much more experience of the other side of this work than the women on here. I know a woman in that field and she only lasted a few years because it was so bad.

They never sounded like victims.

Only the OP can say how vulnerable she was but she did say she had low self esteem and didn’t believe she would be hired for shop work etc when she took the job, she said she did things she didn’t want to do rather than get fired from her job as a WG and now she suffers from PTSD. At what point do you call someone a victim?

OP, I genuinely thank you for sharing. I hope I don’t offend by suggesting you were vulnerable. I think you’re amazing.

But the choice i made to enter prostitution did not really exist in a vacuum. Without turning on a "woe is me" tap, as a victim of CSA (first blow job I gave at aged 5) and one in a society where selling sex is an easy way to make money, it was simply the path I took.

I just read this. I’m so sorry, OP. My comment above probably seems even more insensitive now.

I think if there's an argument that men don't need to rape prostitutes because they can just pay them to do what they want, then the line between rape and prostitution becomes very thin. If rape is using threats or violence to get a woman to submit to sexual acts that she doesn't want, and prostitution involves using money to get a woman to submit to sexual acts she doesn't want then they're not very far apart in real terms are they?

I find the idea that men don't need to rape prostitutes because prostitutes will just say yes really chilling. Hidden within that idea is that the men know the prostitute isn't really willing but will say yes because of the money - if it were a 'real' woman he'd have to physically force her somehow. Horrible.

Are most sex workers really attractive - like Amsterdam window workers? Or do ordinary, bit podgy, cellulite types also get work?
And what position do clients favour - missionary is so, intimate. Who makes the first move?

I've just seen Pa1oma your post yesterday 19:47...
Sorry I only skim read last night quickly but am reading replies properly now.

I am just really really sorry about your experiences. It's fucked up that he used prostitutes and abused children too. I mean you'd think men do either one or the other... but god the association must be really traumatic. It's no wonder you're angry and honestly you're entitled to that anger.

I think if there's an argument that men don't need to rape prostitutes because they can just pay them to do what they want, then the line between rape and prostitution becomes very thin.

Also it’s completely untrue. Look at the majority of victims of serial killers and rapists. It’s overwhelmingly wg’s. Obviously your everyday, run of the mill sex attack doesn’t get that much publicity but it’s easy to see how it’s not limited to repeat offenders.

I agree Iwas. I also think that because of the nature of the work it's likely that prostitutes put up with behaviour that other women would consider to be an assault - because the man is paying, he doesn't really need to treat the woman with any real respect or be that careful about how she feels. I'd imagine the line between sex and assault is very very fuzzy.

When I was younger with a higher sex drive I think yes I could have been down with having sex for money
but to have sex with someone 'blobby and middle aged', someone that I found an unattractive?
I'd want it a LOT of money for that I mean 500 upwards for a quick shag
otherwise nah forget it

spaghettijumper
The idea that men working with isolated and often marginalised women aren't more likely to hurt them in some way, when the whole premise of the interaction is for the man to pay to use the woman's body is, frankly, nonsense
The men who pay know or worry there's a pimp/security watching but actually they're there for enjoyable sex rather than to hurt the girl.
I mean proper psychos who get off on hurting women generally don't pay to do it.

I don't really understand Ophelia - you say the men want enjoyable sex. But at the base of it all they must understand that the women they're paying don't really want to have sex with them, surely? So they know, on some level, that the touching, the sex, whatever they do to the women isn't really pleasurable, it's just something the women get through. And yet you claim they don't get off on that?

I thought WG were statistically more likey to be the victims of physical and sexual assault? Is that more street walkers?

Maybe not assaulted generally in the same way as most non-wg, but customers punching, slapping or biting, customers doing things that have not been agreed to like anal.

But at the base of it all they must understand that the women they're paying don't really want to have sex with them

I think alot of them kid themselves that the women do enjoy it - that they are exploiting their nymphomania to make money. There was a couple of men on the recent thread about inferm and disabled people using prostitutes staying pretty much that. Alot of women argued that is the reason all prostitution should be banned because the 'happy hooker' continues to perpetuate that idea.

@seedso thanks for your interesting contribution.

I met men in hotels, told my partner at the time where i was and he often acted as driver/security (no he was not a pimp he was lovely man and never took a penny from me)

Ooh! Question from me. What do you think about men who have relationships with working prostitutes?

I was in a relationship whilst working when he knew but the dynamic in our relationship was terrible, but another time in a relationship i kept it all a a huge secret.
Are you still together? Does it still effect your relationship?