I'm a Muslim, ask me anything

[UnderBlue]

So I thought I'd join the bandwagon too! I'm a Muslim, and ask me anything. :)

(Please note: I'm very happy to answer questions about my beliefs and my experiences, but not interested in debating issues or bashing please. Please start your own thread if you want to do that. Thanks)

Also, please bear with me if I take a while to reply. I have pelvic pain today and a trip planned to the beach tomorrow, so apologies in advance if I take a while to reply. I will try my best :)

@rightknockered

These were comments rather than questions, but I thought you might still want my view on it, and hence you posted them? I know you have been through a horrific experience with your ex, who happens to be a Muslim, so I can understand why this thread may be upsetting you, and perhaps causing a trigger (?), and I am sorry if that is the case.

And you can say what you like about men being abusive regardless of their religion, but controlling men find themselves a nice place in islam Where they are told that to have charge over women, to be able to dictate what their wives wear/how they live/ whether they can leave their houses etc. and for it to be acceptable to behave like this. It may not be the best way to behave, but it certainly isn't considered a crime.

It is considered a crime. Indeed a very serious crime. There is absolutely no place for physical or mental abuse in Islam, and it is a very serious crime to abuse someone in this way. There is not only a special place for these people in Hell, but they should be punished in this world according to Islam, with the laws of the land.

^My ex raped me, and I was told that as a muslim man he can decide when to have sex and the wife must agree, and that the wrong was that I was not a muslim not that he was a rapist. The blame was mine. Again it was me, as a kafir, that was dirty, unacceptable and to blame. It has taken me 4 years to silence the voices in my head.
I refuse to go back to that dark place. The attitude to my sexuality is part of it. I find these answers intolerable, and deeply upsetting^

I am very very sorry to hear of your experience. There is NO place whatsoever for rape in Islam. I hope you have reported it to the authorities and been given some form of justice. (and just so you know, under Islamic law, your ex-husband would be lashed 100 times or lashed to death for rape. So no, there is absolutely no tolerance of rape in the Islamic faith).

I am not hostile towards muslims. Just because there is some degree of hostility towards muslims doesn't mean that it is ok to ignore these views. Oh it is ok to think people should be killed for their sexual orientation, because some people hate you.

There is no where in the Islamic law that says people should be killed for their sexual orientation. I have never heard it before, and find the very thought, deeply disturbing.

It is ok that you openly hate Israelis because Palestine.

I don’t understand why you think I hate Isarelis? I have Israeli friends, and no I don’t hate them (why would I?). I don’t agree with the way their government treats Palestinians. I also don’t believe it is fair for them to support (in any way) the displacement of Palestinians (whether in 1948 or now) from their homes. I disagree with them on a good few issues, but it doesn’t mean I hate them! Similarly, I have Saudi friends, I also don’t support their government’s treatment of Yemenis, and I also don’t believe it is fair of them to support their government (in any way) to killing Yemenis. Disagreement with another person on a few issues doesn’t make me or any other Muslim hate anyone. We have plenty of disagreements just in between us, but we still love each other :)

It is ok that some of your men use religious text to get away with abusive behaviour and disgusting attitudes to women because of 'kill a muslim' shit.

I don’t think I follow what you mean (because of ‘kill a muslim shit’ – how is that used as a cause/excuse?), but emphatically NO, these type of abusers should be published here (using the land of the law), and they will most definitely be punished in the next world.

I don't support any hatred towards any muslim, yet many muslims including their blinkered supporters, are totally fine towards hatred towards me as a bisexual woman. Oh that's ok then, is it?

No, that is NOT OK. Muslims are not allowed to judge people and have hatred towards people. If there are a few Muslims who do this, then putting it plainly: they are idiots. As I am sure you are aware, there are idiots in non-Muslim communities too, as sadly, even in 2018, homophobia is present across society (One in five LGBT people in the UK have experienced a hate crime or incident because of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity in the last 12 months - which is very sad and shocking!).

@Floradoranora

Quite what you do with the thread now I honestly don’t know but personally I’m inclined to ignore people and just post around them when the need arises. You however may want to reply to them but if you do decide to leave the thread be assured you were doing an absolutely fantastic job of it and I’ve really enjoyed your replies despite knowing the answers anyway though not in great detail.

Thank you! :)

It is a shame really, as up until now this thread has been largely full of people having genuine questions, rather than imposing their own views. This thread has taken up a lot of my time this week, and my kids are missing me (mummy why are you on your laptop so much?), so I will take my leave for now. If anyone has any more questions that have not been addressed here, please do DM me, and I can then post the reply here or leave it private (whichever you prefer). Good day and week to you all, and I have enjoyed being part of this thread too - thank you for all your fabulous questions!

*It is a shame really, as up until now this thread has been largely full of people having genuine questions, rather than imposing their own views. This thread has taken up a lot of my time this week, and my kids are missing me (mummy why are you on your laptop so much?), so I will take my leave for now. If anyone has any more questions that have not been addressed here, please do DM me, and I can then post the reply here or leave it private (whichever you prefer). Good day and week to you all, and I have enjoyed being part of this thread too - thank you all for your fabulous questions!

^ Sorry second time failed to highlight the text [blush. Good day all x

Some very good answers.
I think its a shame that some posters are trying to provoke the OP with offensive posts when she's just answering all questions ( very well and politely too).

Just wanted to say that you're handling some very unpleasant and provocative posts with great restraint and grace!

Thanks for answering so far ...
Why are there so many scientific errors in the Quran? Doesn't it show that it's author didn't really know much about the workings of the universe?

I must say I do in general just love the overall politeness of people in the Muslim community. Most men are incredibly polite and respectful even if being flirtatious if that makes sense? As in you are a beautiful woman I really hope you have an amazing day kind of thing.

I also love the merging of conservative Islamic beliefs and the more modern generation making it slightly more relevant to now. For example socialising with non Muslims, being allowed to be in presence of Non Muslims drinking alcohol as long as they are not consuming it etc.

I always say the Qa'ran, Bible etc was God's words then, not now. With society changing, God may find himself approving or disapproving of more things - because he can see what makes his creations happy and what makes them sad.

I think ultimately though you will feel with your being whether God approves of your actions not by looking at the Holy Books but by feeling how he may see your actions if that makes sense.

Thanks so much for sharing. :)

I've reported a few of the deliberately goady messages.

OP, I don't blame you for not coming back to the thread although it's a shame as you answer the questions so well and it's fascinating having an opportunity to ask what would normally be slightly inappropriate or slightly daft questions.

I've certainly been thinking about this thread over the last few days and chatting about it with my friends. I have some very religious friends but no close Muslim friends. ( No reason - it's probably just because of where I live)

One thing that I find hard to understand about being a Muslim is that it all seems very inward thinking from an individuals point of view. Believers seem to spend an inordinate amount of time and energy worshipping their God, carrying out his wishes and rules and reflecting on how good a Muslim their are. The endless examination of their relationship with their God almost seems self-indulgent. I think if I were religious I would prefer to spend that time and energy doing practical good deeds.

I just think a good 'God' would not care so much about being worshipped, or all the rules and restrictions that religions have and would just care about people being decent, kind and charitable.

I think this applies to lots of religions.

I think too many religions are stuck in past and aren't able to adapt and change with the times.

Report away. I don't think we have to have an intrinsic respect to made up shit that causes a load of bother. No matter how reasonable the proponents seem.

What a shame. I was thinking of posting some responses to the OP and other people’s questions too, of my experience as a recent revert.

But the thread ended up as expected.

Post away POP, I'm not stopping you.

Actually Hairyhands you are stopping people. You are derailing the thread with your unpleasantness and OP will quite probably not want to come back, all because you had to make your childish attention seeking little point over and over again.

I see I got a deletion there, 'twas ever thus.

I would just like to say my deleted post was not Islamaphobic it was anti-relgion in all its guises.

Am I Max?

Don't think I am.

Just making the point we don't have to be necessarily respectful to anybody because they have a firmly held belief.

Anyway OP seems to be holding her own, I don't think she needs your help there.

And I would never stop people asking questions.

It's how we learn. Doesn't mean I have to agree with or respect their POV though.

I think Christopher Hitchens was pretty bang-on when it comes to religion.

Why are Muslim women's robes black? It seems unfair that women in Saudi Arabia have to wear a heat absorbing colour when it's so hot.

Yep, this ended as expected. It was such a nice thread with measured and polite responses.

In my previous work place, senior managers (women I must say) expected me not to be vocal or be assertive (and didn't mind other women being like that), and made life very difficult for me. Whether that was just because they didn't like me, or didn't like the fact I was a Muslim, I don't know.

Op, This bit really resonated with me. In my case, I feel that they do like me but there is an underlying current or an expectation that I must not be vocal and adhere to certain ‘rules’ which are not expected from others. If my white counterpart is vocal, the manager takes note. If I make a point, then I am just making a fuss and am told to just get on with it. This is just a tiny example out of the many examples I can give. My skin colour and religion both play a part in this but they would never accept this if this got highlighted. So I try to just keep calm and carry on.

I am not expecting a response OP. It is sad that we have to self moderate to defend ourselves from such attacks both online and offline.

@Underblue Thankyou for your responses. Despite my obvious upset and angst you answered beautifully, and I feel reassured to some level. I personally don't want you to leave this thread. You've brought tears to my eyes with your patience and kindness.
I'm sorry if I did upset you in any way.
Please come back x

It must be quite difficult to maintain such extraordinary beliefs in the 21st century.

Why?

In olden times people could believe whatever they liked, and, if necessary, surround themselves with like minded people.
Nowadays any public opinion or belief is subject to scrutiny and debate by the wider community.

It's very easy to start a thread to discuss our opinions on religion. I'm sure there have been many where people are given ample opportunity to express their disapproval of Islam or other religions.

There are not very many threads like this one. The OP has shown great patience and generosity of spirit in answering questions, some of which have been quite hostile. It's a shame the same generosity has not been shown to her in all cases.

You have an opinion, good for you. Doesn't mean you have to spout it at every opportunity. Not every thought is suitable for broadcast for every occasion. You wouldn't stand up in church while your friend was getting married and shout what a load of bollocks. You'd keep quiet or not attend.

If there is an 'atheist community' I apologise on our behalf for some of the posts on this thread.

What I have taken from this thread is it’s ok to chat to people who are wearing the niquab (?sp)
Honestly I have felt a little intimidated when sitting next to someone wearing this on the bus/in the park etc.
I thought maybe they were wearing it because they wanted to chat with their own family only or that this was one of the cultural rules, not to chat with people in public.
Totally formed out of ignorance, I’m the type of person who likes to chat a little with people around me if they want to as well, I’ll have the courage to say hello and make a british comment about the weather now!!
Best ama thread so far.
Have a lovely day op if still reading and hope that pelvic pain has gone away for good!

I'm gay, and have recently (through work) dealt with a case of a young muslim teen whose parents wanted her dead due to her being gay. She escaped and is now in care (far from an ideal outcome but still gives me a sigh of relief when I think of it).
I am assuming that not all Muslims would do this, and also I've known people of all religions and non religions be homophobic but never to this extent.

What would you do if your daughter came out as gay, as a teenager or young woman?

I cannot agree that I deserve to abstain from loving sexual relationships. People do not choose to be gay any more than they choose to be straight. I'm not offended,as I've grown a thick skin over the years. It merely teaches me how much ignorance remains in the world.