I'm a Muslim, ask me anything

[UnderBlue]

So I thought I'd join the bandwagon too! I'm a Muslim, and ask me anything. :)

(Please note: I'm very happy to answer questions about my beliefs and my experiences, but not interested in debating issues or bashing please. Please start your own thread if you want to do that. Thanks)

Also, please bear with me if I take a while to reply. I have pelvic pain today and a trip planned to the beach tomorrow, so apologies in advance if I take a while to reply. I will try my best :)

@Kintjob

My kids go to a school with a good mix of cultures and faiths. The only families who never accept birthday party invitations are the Muslim families. There is even a JW family who accept invitations but don't bring presents, that's a whole other thread though! Do Muslims prefer their kids not to attend birthday parties/non-muslim birthday parties in general or is it just these particular families?

Great question :) Some Muslims don't celebrate Birthdays. We certainly didn't when we were young, and I don't make a big deal of them with my kids (we have cake, they get a present and that's it). It is not a Muslim practice and some scholars think that it promotes a 'me' culture, and we are all encouraged to be humble. Others disagree and say there is nothing wrong with celebrating a birthday, and some Muslims even celebrate the Prophet's birthday. Therefore there could be a number of reasons why these children are not coming along to the birthday:

a. They don't celebrate birthdays (or like me have a very low key one) and although don't mind their child coming to your child's birthday, wont be able to reciprocate the invite, so they say no.
b. They don't want to put you under pressure and ask you to cater for their child's halal diet (and may be are also not sure whether you might be offended if they suggested she needs a veggie or halal diet, and whether you will understand not be offended when they tell you their child can't have anything with alcohol in it, even if it is cooked)
c. They don't have time because of family demands. This is a big one, I live close to my parents and extended family and every other week we have some sort of family thing we are either invited to or we make plans. It is fun but tiring!! I have been meaning to organise a party for my son but it is so hard to find time (and I work full time too). My children are very very close to their cousins, so I don't see the need to organise play dates (whereas when I was living away from my family - I used to organise loads - with children from all backgrounds).

@rightknockered

I don't think you really answered my question OP. Just some posturing where you clearly seem confused between transgender and homosexuality. I'm pretty certain than I am 100% females, not transgender, not biologically different from any other cis female. Yet I am bi, and I didn't choose this. No one chooses to be gay! hmm

You may be right, maybe I am confused, and I am always looking for opportunities to learn (I did say i believe some people are born as homosexuals). However I would like to highlight that even if people are born with it, and don't choose it, either way I respect them and fully respect their choice to live life the way they want to. From a faith perspective, I believe these people, if Muslim, are under a huge test to restrain themselves from committing homosexual acts, and they will be rewarded for that in the hereafter. BUT that does NOT mean I don't respect them and their freedom to choose to do as they will (I for example have gay and lesbian friends).

Thanks so much for answering OP, much appreciated!

Sorry you've faced some anger on this thread, I think you've been great.

Op, I don’t really understand the faith aspect and homosexual acts? I don’t know why being homosexual isn’t considered a problem, but committing homosexual acts is? I can imagine that there are probably a fair few closeted Muslim men and women who feel they must marry and deny their true selves forever because of it. You spoke about patience earlier. Do you think this is patience or perhaps familial and cultural pressure to conform?

@Whatdiditsay

OP, do you ever wonder about why being a Muslim involves so many rules. Why do you feel you need to do XY and Z to be a good Muslim.

Hi :) I believe we have rules to keep encourage us and be reminded to be good people. You sound like a great person with good morals. Sadly, as you probably know, many people do need rules. Why do we have laws and regulations in this country? Why is there a law about picking up dog poo for example? You think it'd be obvious what a person should do, but people can be lazy and selfish, and have other stresses too. The laws are there to make our life easier and for us to live more happily as a community together, and the very same is for Islamic rules. I don't personally see the rules as restrictive; I also don't help my neighbors and friends just because of the reward, I do it because I want to, and the by product is the reward. However, if there are some people who are being nice to their neighbors and not being impatient with them because of the faith only, I would say that is a good thing. I hope that answers your question?

@papayasareyum

Op, I don’t really understand the faith aspect and homosexual acts? I don’t know why being homosexual isn’t considered a problem, but committing homosexual acts is? I can imagine that there are probably a fair few closeted Muslim men and women who feel they must marry and deny their true selves forever because of it. You spoke about patience earlier. Do you think this is patience or perhaps familial and cultural pressure to conform?

Muslims who are homosexuals are encouraged not to marry, as it would be hugely unfair on the partner and on themselves too. They are encouraged to be patient, and think of their reward in the hereafter. Muslims believe we are only in this world for a very short period (sometimes described as the blink of the eye in relation to the hereafter), whereas the hereafter is eternal, where we will have whatever we want.

@papayasareyum

And to add to the above, it must be very very hard, and I take my hat off to them.

@ladybirdsi and others,

@HateSummer exactly!! Why say Pakistan's why not say some Muslims.

I can't say some Muslims because forced marriages are extremely rare in most Muslim countries, and faith is NOT the common denominator, or cause. Whereas as you say, in south asian countries it does happen (albeit a small number). I used Pakistan as an example, I could have said the same about India or Bangaldesh (and faith is NOT a denominator for forced marriage). If I had said some Indians practice 'forced marriages', I would have been accused of attempting to suggest as if Indians=Hindus (as has already happened in this thread). One can't really win, but I hope you and others understand that my point was that culturally a very small minority of people do practice forced marriage (and they may or may not be Muslim), but the reason is culture and NOT religion.

@Wheretheresawill1

I had a relationship with a Muslim dr for 3yrs. I never once met his family and he used to get anxious about being seen out with me. He appeared very conflicted. It inevitably ended and I felt very upset about it. Is this more of a cultural issue or is it religious as well?

I am sorry about that. Muslim men are allowed to marry women from the Abrahamic faiths, and one of my close friends is in this marriage too, and it is going very well. For him, his struggle was explaining to his parents that he was not going to marry someone not from the same culture as him, and his parents understandably had concerns about whether she is respectful of their culture and wont find it too alien, and whether she might struggle to fit in, and also whether he will become less practicing as a result of this marriage. I think there is still a bit of a taboo because it doesn't happen a lot but even mixed racial marriages within Muslim communities (and across the British community too to be honest) are rare too. But I think things are changing.

If I had said some Indians practice 'forced marriages', I would have been accused of attempting to suggest as if Indians=Hindus (as has already happened in this thread).

You didn’t really need to mention any country and just say “some Muslims from some uneducated cultures in South Asia”. You still don’t seem to understand that what you said was offensive because it’s happening in Indian communities aswell! Yet you pinpicked the only country that is portrayed badly by the media to make your point. You seem to be quick to mention Pakistanis in your posts and then state you’re Indian. Why is this? If you can’t speak for Pakistani communities then don’t give them as an example.

I have very much enjoyed reading this thread OP. you have answered questions with dignity and respect, you are a good ambassador for Islam, thank you.

Thanks so much for such an informative and detailed thread, OP

@HateSummer and others,

I apologise, and thanks for correcting me :) I was using it as an example but the way you put it is a lot better, and removes any room to misinterpret or misunderstand. I will bear that in mind for the future. I would also like to say that I believe that forced marriages are very rare across the South Asians cultures, and faith is not the common deonimonator, it is culture.

Morning OP!
Thank you for answering all questions.
How are you coping in this heat wearing your clothes? Also you mentioned going to a beach. Would you be allowed to sunbathe in a swimming costume?
Are you allowed to have pets? And why dogs are considered as unclean animals?
Just to add, It’s really awful what you experienced as a child with dogs. Hope things like these will never happen again.

Thank you for answering my questions. I think you have given excellent answers and explained your opinions very well.

Thank you.

Why is your god so desperate to be worshipped?

I have a question, I want to say I hope it's not offensive to you firstly.
I've read the quran in English with my exDH many times and it states that there is no book but the quran (that you need to follow) and everything a Muslim needs to do/know is in the Quran, so why do a lot of Muslims follow hadiths(books written many hundreds of years after the quran was sent down)?

Would I be welcome if I went into my local mosque or should I wait for one of the open days?

Hello, thank you for this thread!

What are your thoughts on halal slaughter practises? It seems quite cruel to me.

So a gay person should live a miserable life because Islam dictates it. It's like going back in time. As long as only a small and weak minority are affected that is fine is it?
And I never said I have grievances with charity workers to the PP who tried to insinuate this. I said, if you can actually read, that being charitable does not make up for homophobic and other abhorrent views. It is not acceptable. Whether is it against the dictates of your religion or not. Homophobia is unacceptable, no matter how polite you are about it.

Having read most of this, and having recently attended a course on understanding Islam, it seems to me that most 'major' religions have the same fundamental beliefs (holy trinity aside), and the same types of rules for living. As an ex-christian, I am aware of their being instruction in the bible for women to cover their hair, behave modestly, and for those wronged to 'smite' or take against their enemies. There are also contradictory statements about forgiveness and peace.

It feels to me as though Christianity has 'moved on' in most parts of the world to allow believers to live in the modern world whilst upholding their faith (perhaps where doctrine or dogma has been reinterpreted), whereas Islam needs to take some further steps.

Many years ago, I worked with a Catholic, a Hindu & a Jew. I'm pagan. We used to be able to all chat quite openly about our beliefs and figured out that ultimately, we all wanted the same thing - for people to peacefully co-exist, for those of faith to be able to worship who they wanted to, for nobody to be forced to do or believe anything they didn't want to, and to treat others with kindness and respect.

Oh and by the way, completely agree culture and religion are not the same thing, but are often misinterpreted as such. Perhaps, as with other things in life, it is a case of "it's always been done this way"?

Salaam aleikum OP.
Well done on starting this thread. Very helpful and your answers are all spot on
JazakaAllah

Very interesting thread OP, it has been very educational and informative.

You said I have also studied other faiths too such as Christianity, and some of the things I couldn't get my head around may I ask what particular things could you not get your head around?

Do you think all of the prophet Mohammad’s teachings came directly from God, or do you think it possible that at times he spoke only as a man?