I'm a Muslim, ask me anything

[UnderBlue]

So I thought I'd join the bandwagon too! I'm a Muslim, and ask me anything. :)

(Please note: I'm very happy to answer questions about my beliefs and my experiences, but not interested in debating issues or bashing please. Please start your own thread if you want to do that. Thanks)

Also, please bear with me if I take a while to reply. I have pelvic pain today and a trip planned to the beach tomorrow, so apologies in advance if I take a while to reply. I will try my best :)

I've enjoyed this thread and found it very respectful.

However as all religion is made-up nonsense, generally promulgated by men, and if there was an omnipotent being; do you not think it strange that many of his edicts are to do with sexuality and genitalia, do you really think there is a big omnipotent perv in the sky that cares what we do sexually and respectfully in behaviour and dress?

And if you do, do you not consider that a bit strange?

That goes for ALL religions.

However as all religion is made-up nonsense, generally promulgated by men, and if there was an omnipotent being; do you not think it strange that many of his edicts are to do with sexuality and genitalia, do you really think there is a big omnipotent perv in the sky that cares what we do sexually and respectfully in behaviour and dress?

I should imagine it’s that throughout history despotic men have had a strong urge to control women’s reproductive activities. And religion provides a rationale for that.

OP this thread has not convinced me that Islam or any other religion is true but it has confirmed my long held belief that people interpret religion according to their inner moral compass. You have a lovely interpretation of Islam because you are a lovely person.

Thank you!

@Alanamackree

Do you think all of the prophet Mohammad’s teachings came directly from God, or do you think it possible that at times he spoke only as a man?

I believe he was a human, the best of humans. God says in the Qur'an in reference to him:

"Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad SAW) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much." Quran (Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 21)

I believe the Qur'an was revealed to him, and that is word-for-word God's words. All the rest of the words he said are from him, but are all of course what Allah wanted him to say.

@MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly
@MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly
^You said upthread that some female Muslims that you know cover their face to please god. This is a different view to an East African Muslim friend I have who says they are encouraged to do so for their own protection (I.e not to tempt men).

I guess different people see it differently, but why do you think your god would want women to be fully covered, but not men that follow the same faith?^

Hi :) It is difficult to guess why God asked for a certain thing for one gender to do and asked the other gender to do something else. Only thing I can do is make guesses, which to be honest wouldn't be fair. Like for example, why did God give women vaginas and men penises? Why did God give the ability to carry a child to a woman and not to a man? I don't know. Why did God put the burden of providing financially for the family solely on men and not on women? But what I do know is that Muslim women who cover their face (with something called a 'niqab'), do it to please God. If the by product of that is they are protected from harassment from some men in some countries, then that must be a bonus. I also know in some very close knit communities that are pre-dominantly Muslim, wearing niqab does give you the advantage of moving around freely and anonymously, without the scrutiny and judgement of the rest of the community. If you've lived in a very close knit community (thing village x 8) where everyone knows each other's business, then it might be much easier to understand. I know my friends who wear the niqab - although they struggle with judgement from those outside the community - have also found it very liberating too whilst in their own community. I hope that makes sense and answers your question :)

To all those that have thanked me, sorry I haven't been able to address you all individually. Your thanks means a lot to me, and you are very welcome!

@weberra
I've seen very few young girls wearing hijabs, when do they generally start? Also, I've seen lots of groups of women in hijabs and abayas with woman who are modestly dressed but not covered. Would you judge, would it ever be discussed?

Thanks for your question :) I would never ever judge anyone's clothing, regardless of which faith or non-faith they belong to. Muslims know and understand that it isn't easy wearing hijab or abayas, and everyone is trying their best, and we should support others for what they are doing, rather than criticise them for what they are not doing. I don't think it is that big a deal to us, because hijab/abaya is a very very tiny part of our faith, and we make plenty of slip ups with other things too. For example, it is obligatory for us to pray 5 daily prayers, one is before sunrise, so in the summer that is around 4am. This is a tough one to do, and many of struggle, and are constantly struggling to pray this. So although this is not visible, to be honest, these are probably more of concern to me and my friends, rather than whether we dress a certain way. I do ask my friends for advice though when say I am shopping or preparing a wedding outfit, and might ask, do you think this is too fitted to wear outside? and they will give their opinion, and I'll choose whether I want to listen or ignore

My question: am I right that the Qu’ran teaches that everyone is born a Muslim, therefore you don’t convert to the faith, you revert out of it?

Good question and I did wonder why the OP referred to people converting to Islam when Ive always been aware they are supposedly reverting. But that said, my life experiences and exposure to Islam over many decades has taught me that people generally say 'converting' even when its being announced in our local papers that x amount of people converted to Islam this year.

Underblue thank you for your answers the questions have been quite candid at times and so have your answers which has been very interesting

@MarklahMarklah

I wonder if the Old Testament/New Testament are a little like the Qu'ran/Hadeeth? One is more hearsay than the other, IYSWIM - in the case of the bible, I'd say NT is more 'word of God' than OT, possibly, although there are likely some Christians on this thread who can clarify.
That's interesting, although that comparison doesn't work, as there are no contradictions between the Qur'an and the Hadith. The Hadith just explain/expands on the Qur'an.

One interesting point we discussed as a group was the doing of good deeds. Those who were religious said that their holy books told them that they should do good deeds as this would basically expediate their passage to heaven/sit well with God. I said that I felt that this could in some way then be perceived as mere actions rather than heartfelt deeds, and as much for their own benefit as for others. As a non-believer, I try to treat people with respect and kindness, and to help those less fortunate than myself/help someone in need. I do this not for any reward in the afterlife but because, morally, it is the right thing to do.

I think what you have explained is sincerity in actions, and that is the highest grade of sincerity in Islam:

"The great scholar Shaykh al-Baha'i (ra) has narrated that the people of the heart (those who love Allah by heart) say that: "Ikhlas means keeping action free from other‑than‑God having a role in it and that the performer of an action should not desire any reward for it in the world and the Hereafter."

I also do good deeds and the vast majority of the time it is because morally it is the right thing to do (and I pray I will be rewarded for it too), and because it is morally the right thing to do, I know it will please God too (I don't think about the reward). Where I find reward can be a good motivator is when I slip up or as a reminder to do good deeds. But I certainly for example don't send my neighbours baked goodies because I want reward from God, it is because I like sharing and being kind to them (and yes, that does make God happy). Some could accuse me I am doing it because it is in my interest to build a good relationship with them (and if that is true, is that a bad thing?). Similarly, I hope God will reward me in the hereafter for it too (I suppose it is like a secondary or tertiary outcome/by product rather than the main reason?). I hope that make sense? :)

@NotAnotherNoughtiesTune

What are your families plans for Eid this year? Any specific foods you eat or prays you must say?

We have a special prayer in the morning, called the Eid prayer. We usually go to an open park and everyone gathers to pray. The rest of the day is spent celebrating and Muslims across different cultures do this slightly differently, but there is almost always LOTS of food and sharing! The kids love it as they get lots of sweets and gifts, and my kids can eat whatever they want that day (my 6 year old ate a packet of sweets for breakfast ... I had to look away as it made me feel a bit nauseous). We will be going over to my in-laws for lunch, and to my family for dinner. We usually all chip in and take a dish, or some dessert, so that its not one person doing all the cooking. My in-laws often order the food or get a chef to come in and cook, so we don't need to do much food prep at all and can just enjoy the food. At my parents on the other hand, there's more chaos, and plenty of random people being invited over and just popping in - all very informal! :) We do a secret santa sometimes too, but more recently we've just decided to give the kids gifts and skip the adults (it takes time to find the right presents, and our both Eids are only 3 months apart!). One year we decided to give the money to charity and not to do Eid gifts for the adults, so we play it by the ear. Our kids accuse us that Christmas looks more fun than Eid, so we are feel under immense pressure to make it fun and exciting! And this isn't always easy, as I had one day off from work, and this coming Eid I may not even get a day off from work, but I'm sure it will be fine as DH will hopefully be off and my siblings and parents will pitch in and give us a hand if needed.

@mishfish

Having said that, some of us Muslims are obsessed with food (Sorry I should say south-asian Muslims). It is our culture - we are constantly feeding everyone.

I’m obsessed with food too. Can i come for dinner? grin

Of course! . I'm not a great cook though, but my mum and mother-in-law are fantastic cooks, and would be very happy to welcome you :)

Do you find that being a Muslim woman has had a negative impact on your career at all? Or do people seem shocked when you mention work?

It depends who it is I think. I think my neighbours are a bit surprised, especially because I wear an abaya as well, to them I think that means that restricts me to staying at home or perhaps prioritizing my kids? I don't know though to be honest but I have seen surprised looks when I mentioned it the first time (I've moved around quite a bit so hence met lots of new neighbours). Or maybe they are surprised by the job I do.

With regards to negative impact on career, again I can't say conclusively, but I think it has. I think there have been a few times when I have been interviewed for example and did exceptionally well, but was not offered the job (but of course there may be other reasons but I think it has happened too many times for it to be co-incidence). In my previous work place, senior managers (women I must say) expected me not to be vocal or be assertive (and didn't mind other women being like that), and made life very difficult for me. Whether that was just because they didn't like me, or didn't like the fact I was a Muslim, I don't know. I have also had colleagues at work telling me how they feel Muslim women shouldn't wear hijab/abaya because that somehow means they support countries that enforce hijab on their citizens. I have replied to that in the politest manner, explaining that I have no control over what other countries do, and I believe women and men should be free to wear whatever they want. These attitudes, and behaviour aligned with it did make me feel a bit uneasy (you feel judged?).

Another example is I went to a professional conference recently (think a NHS conference), and we were sent into breakout rooms during the day. This man (in a suit) repeatedly would move to a different table as soon as I approached it. It happened at least 5 times (first I thought I was imagining it). Other times, people ignore you. So they will talk to you when you directly have to work with them (because they don't have a choice), but when they see you around (cafe for example), they will deliberately ignore you. You get quite a few of these type (and no they don't ignore other colleagues too). But really most people are either OK with me (tolerate me?) and some are lovely! :) I do feel a bit tired of constantly trying and having to go out of my way to please people. Sometimes as you get older, you do become less patient, and sometimes I feel like saying 'for goodness sake, what is your problem? Stop expecting me to conform to your beliefs/judgement!'

And the veneration of a meteorite at Mecca that has to be undertaken as a once in a lifetime pilgrimage as Haj.

When every year people get squashed and killed.

Does that seem sensible to you?

Really?

@sandcastle010

My question: am I right that the Qu’ran teaches that everyone is born a Muslim, therefore you don’t convert to the faith, you revert out of it?

Hi, good question :) Muslims believe that everyone is born on 'fitrah', which roughly translates to primordial human nature/instinct. I am going to take from Wikipedia (edited it a bit) as I think it explains it well and probably better than I will (and I need to get to work too ):

"According to Islamic theology, human beings are born with an innate inclination of tawhid (Oneness of God), which is encapsulated in the fitra along with compassion, intelligence, ihsan and all other attributes that embody what it is to be human. It is for this reason that some Muslims prefer to refer to those who embrace Islam as reverts rather than converts, as it is believed they are returning to the state they were born in."

So yes they revert back to the faith. But it is semantics, you can say convert or revert, Muslims know what that means.

And thanks for explaining the trinity, I'm still not sure I completely understand , but many thanks for explaining it, I appreciate it.

What do you think about gay people ?

I'm not singling out Islam.

I took my holy communion as a Catholic, palmedthe water, and fed if to my cat.

Such was my belief in transubstantiation.

It's all mad bollox.

@ILikeyourHairyHands

However as all religion is made-up nonsense, generally promulgated by men, and if there was an omnipotent being; do you not think it strange that many of his edicts are to do with sexuality and genitalia, do you really think there is a big omnipotent perv in the sky that cares what we do sexually and respectfully in behaviour and dress?

And if you do, do you not consider that a bit strange?

I can't speak for other faiths, but in Islam, there is very very very little related to sexuality and genitalia, in fact I can't think of anything to do with genitalia, except perhaps when the Prophet told his male companions they must ensure they have foreplay with their wives before sex and that they should continue giving their wives pleasure until the wife comes even if they have been satisfied (i.e. come). With regard to sexuality, homosexuality is mentioned only once in the Qur'an. To put that into context, the Qur'an has 6,236 verses, so 1/6,236 mention sexuality, so that is 0.016% of the Qur'an. So no, I don't consider that strange.

@ILikeYourHairyHands

And the veneration of a meteorite at Mecca that has to be undertaken as a once in a lifetime pilgrimage as Haj. When every year people get squashed and killed. Does that seem sensible to you? Really?

If people are really getting squashed and killed every year, then from an Islamic perspective, the Saudi authorities MUST stop this happening (whether that's by reducing number of visas they give or better control etc). We aren't allowed to hurt a fly, especially in the holy cities, forget harm and kill another human being, so the Saudi authorities will be asked about this on the day of judgement. The Prophet was so considerate when he did the hajj, that he advised the ones that were weak in their group or ill to skip parts of the ritual.

On another note, I don't believe this happens every year. I think Saudi authorities have become a lot more efficient than there were, but of course like all, probably have room to improve. But my statement above still stands. God does not anyone to come to harm, and no one is expected to hajj if they feel it is a danger to their life (goes without saying).

@UnrelentingFruitScoffer

What do you think about gay people?

They are honestly some of the most loving, kind and generous people I have ever had the pleasure to meet (and I haven't yet come across one gay person who doesn't fit that stereotype!), so yes I absolutely love them :) They have been exceptionally kind to me, especially at work. For example, in the past 1.5 years, in two separate work places, they generously offered to mentor me, and went out of their way to help me! I don't know if it may be because they also know how it feels to be judged and/or discriminated, but either way, they are just awesome! :)

And Hasidic Jewish women and the ritual menses cleansing and the wigs.

And Bhuddism doesn't really accept women. Because they can't attain spiritual enlightenment in the same way as a man.

Religion is essentially a misogynistic playbook.

I could go on.

It's all a fantasy made up by men. To control women or indeed men who are lesser than them.

But crack on.

Do you think humans are designed by your god?
If so, do you think it is necessary to cut bits off babies without medical reason?

This is not Islamaphobic BTW, I feel the same about Christians.

I was brought up as a Catholic and see it as a horribly corrupt and pernicious system.

What do you think should happen to people who are Muslim and then leave the Islamic religion and reject the Islamic religion?

(Please note: I'm very happy to answer questions about my beliefs and my experiences, but not interested in debating issues or bashing please. Please start your own thread if you want to do that. Thanks)

It seems some have missed that ^ part of your Op and it’s only going to go one way now. So, I just wanted to say I’ve really enjoyed your replies to the questions and your way reminds me of many of the women and men in my family very large Muslim family.

Quite what you do with the thread now I honestly don’t know but personally I’m inclined to ignore people and just post around them when the need arises. You however may want to reply to them but if you do decide to leave the thread be assured you were doing an absolutely fantastic job of it and I’ve really enjoyed your replies despite knowing the answers anyway though not in great detail.