I remember going on a rare night out with a couple of non dancing friends. It was for someone’s birthday I think. And I still remember to this day walking down the stairs in a club and a guy walking up the stairs past me, grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him really forcefully and said to me (sorry if this is offensive everyone but it really did happen) he said “you better watch my fingers don’t slip into your psy wearing that skirt”
I was HORRIFIED. My friends just rolled their eyes as though it was a regular thing. I went to the doorman and told him expecting him to go find the bloke and throw him out and all he said was ‘just stay away from him then’
This incident sticks so clearly in my mind because in the dancing club NOWAY would that have been acceptable. He would have been banned from the club in an instant.
This is a remarkable piece of underthinking, OP. First of all, this incident was obviously an appallingly common symptom of male sexual self-entitlement, as well as a digital rape threat, and equally obviously, in no way your fault.
However, the industry that you take such a rosy, 'I'm all right, Jack, because I got paid a lot, got fit, and the other girls were like sisters' and frankly irresponsible attitude to contributes to this culture of male sexual entitlement, because it normalises the male purchase of female consent.
The incident you describe illustrates that perfectly -- your friends weren't surprised, and the club hadn't the slightest interest, because that kind of sexual threat against women is awfully common, and what you don't seem to understand is that this man would have been thrown out of your pole dancing club because at the club you were a valuable commodity, hence protected, not because your club attracted a nicer kind of man who paid to be titillated, or because you were more valued as a woman there. It was because money was involved. Bouncers protect the goods at the club.
Other women, who are not valuable pole-dancing commodities and who walk around in the non-club world, then deal with the fallout from your industry. The fact that you personally found pole-dancing empowering and financially rewarding does not change that.