Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

Thanks so much for the reply OP, I’ll give Mac a try and see if I can find that setting spray..sounds perfect! 😁

I've never been particularly fond of strippers, dancers and the like and pretty much used to have the same attitude as a lot of posters in this thread (who'll remain nameless). That was because I was extremely insecure, insanely jealous of any and all woman who I perceived to be prettier or sexier than me, I.e. most of the female population.

Now that I'm older, perhaps wiser, definitely less judgey, I'm fascinated and grateful for the insightful stories from the ex and current dancers on this thread. They've proved they're absolutely normal women! Hats and things off to you all

*thongs FGS!

Things off would work too

And why does it set a bad example to young girls? Does modelling? Does reality tv? Does being an artist wearing very little in a music video.

actually in my opinion these things often do set a bad example to young girls - commodification of women's bodies. No knowledge of how lap dancing works as an industry but I would absolutely hate my daughter to do it for a living - even if it was as regulated and "all girls together having fun" as posters here are saying. I wouldn't be that keen on modelling, reality tv or her being a female artist wearing a corset and stilletos while her male counterpart wears a 3 piece suit and comfortable shoes either.

Thank you for starting the thread, I've often wondered how things go on in clubs, and I'm glad the ones you've worked on had good standards.

If you were appointed Minister for Lapdancing, what changes would you make to the industry based on your knowledge and what you've heard of good and bad practice and standards?

Just had a chat with my 21YO DD and a friend of hers is a stripper/lap dancer and before I started telling her about @yourprivatedancerEX and others experiences related in this thread, she immediately said that that her friend says it pays well, it keeps her fit, there's cameras in every booth, bouncers ready to bounce etc. She's never felt unsafe, threatened etc.

I wouldnt want my kids doing it, watching it . I wouldnt want my partner going there.

Its getting ( mostly) men sexually aroused, and then they pay.

You can dress it up anyway you like.

I used to think strippers/dancers/topless models were a certain sort of woman too; that's before I was one. I thought it would be a bunch of "cool girls" with great bodies and low moral standards who would undercut another woman at any chance they got, each somehow seeing themselves as superior.

But they were all just normal people. We were "having fun together" simply because we were the kind of people who could enjoy what we did; not everyone could. And we all had our reasons to be there. Nobody works for fun after all, and those reasons were as personal to us as anyone's reasons for earning money are; kids, hard times, working towards a better future and securing a life for yourself.

One of the main reasons there was such camaraderie was a respect for each others' need to earn money. You don't do extras because it undercuts the other girls. If a guy doesn't want a dance with you but he likes that girl over there, you tell her. If her tan is streaky you fix her up, and she'll help you right back. Because we all had real lives outside of the club, and whilst we could often enjoy ourselves in the moment there was no mistaking amongst the girls that the reason we were there was likely very serious to us indeed. To us.

what does " want a dance " mean? and what were the serious reasons?

I think a lot of people aren't in either the Happy strippers camp or the all strippers are awful camp. It's just threads like this tend to attract posters with the most to say.
Personally I would hate to do stripping/lap dancing type of job. I think it's degrading and sleazy and I just don't like the whole industry. I think it promotes the image that woman are a commodity. For me it's worse than modeling etc even though I realise those industries aren't great either.

However I can totally see why people do it especially those who don't have other careers to fall back on. I don't think there is anything wrong with the girls/ women who do it.

I have to say that I'm surprised to hear that drug use is so rare. It sounds like you would have a higher rate of drug users in the general population than at a strip/ lap dancing club 😂.

I'd be disappointed if any of my kids worked in a strip club or visited one.

Interesting! I have some q’s

Do you list occupation as lap dancer or stripper on a tax return?

The ‘high earners’ that someone mentioned, do you know what it was about some of the women who were always booked out? Was it a certain look,or something else?

Did you go through a vetting process, do the managers of a club check you out for suitability? Do they try and have a variety of different looks available at one time?

Did you ever feel a bit sad for some of the men? Presumably some must have been a bit sad and lonely. Or ones that just wanted to talk, did you feel kinda bad that they didn’t have anyone in their real life to talk too? Did you ever feel they were the ones being slightly exploited?

petrol What do you mean "want a dance"? I think that's fairly self explanatory!

What is your opinion on the type of men who visit lap dancing clubs? Did you ever feel degraded at all? Not trying to be goady!

Its getting ( mostly) men sexually aroused, and then they pay

Always get them to pay first.

I put "self employed dancer" or rather, my accountant did.

When you first arrive for an audition, the manager, and if they have one, the house Mum, will ask about your experience, where have you worked, get a general feel for you. Some places have a "go on the pole, work the night, see how you do" process, others will have you come in for a couple of hours, or just to see how you do on the stage etc. The house is always getting paid, so having another girl on the books won't do them any harm. The only girls I've seen be turned down for work are the ones who drink to excess, ones who are scruffy and don't take pride in their appearance, ones who are obvious troublemakers.

A high earner one night can make nothing the next, it's incredibly changeable.

(Trying to answer whilst getting DC ready for bath and bed)

This thread started off so well until all the judgey pearl clutchers turned up. Thanks anyway for sharing your experience OP

I've never felt sorry for a man in a strip club, ever.

This is a very interesting thread, thank you OP .

i dont know what " want a dance" means. The girl dance exclusively for him?

I am offering my opinion. I neither judged nor clutched my pearls.

Yeah it was an enjoyable thread, could have gone along the same lines as the crematorium worker thread. Such a shame about the narrow minded, judgmental, insecure, rude posters determined to pull other women down. They’re the ones that give women a bad name. OP and the others who’ve shared their stories have remained dignified throughout.

Thanks for answering all of the questions, OP!

What a depressing thread.

How blind do you have to be to believe that this is an okay choice of work for yourself, for your daughter. It's not empowering, reducing yourself to your body parts for male gratification is about as demeaning as it gets.

And yes I do think that anybody willingly engaging in this line of work is contributing to a huge problem in our society and letting women down.

Dancers are not letting women down at all. They are doing what they need to do to pay the bills and put some money away at the same time. It’s not up to individual woman to fight the good fight for womankind.

And yes I do think that anybody willingly engaging in this line of work is contributing to a huge problem in our society and letting women down.

Women! Behave yourselves. You're letting society down, and most of all you're letting YOURSELF down. Go sit in the corner, get some clothes on and dress modestlyand think about what you just did.