Laura Brand, would you stand by your man? Trigger rape.

I don't like RB and always though he looked like (smelly, irritating) trouble when he first appeared and friends swooned over him. Personally I can't see what his wife sees in him in my eyes he's walking, living red flag. But if allegations were made against my DH then I would have trouble believing them because he has never given any indication of being a sexual predator and I've known him for almost 30 years. Unless there was irrefutable evidence I'd probably stand by him. Maybe Laura Brand feels the same way.

This does NOT mean I condone sexual violence before anyone gets all frothy at the mouth.

I have a suggestion for you.

For the next week, refuse to believe anything you hear from anyone, including your family, or make any kind of opinion or judgement about anyone and anything unless the facts behind it have been proven in court. Please come back and let us know how that goes for you.

I'm pretty sire innocent until proven guilty is only relevant in the case of a criminal offence, not if someone accidentally left the milk out 😂

Yep, there must be a lot of evidence.

My dh was part of a large potential court case recently, he was a victim of child / teenage sexual abuse by his teacher. Despite 6 people providing the same accounts, similar stories etc - all completely unrelated and unknown to each other and occurring at different times- the prosecution service said there wasn’t enough evidence for it to go to court. So it’s just been completely dropped (dh is okay with me posting about this btw). So for it to have got this far, with so many women, there must be a lot of compelling evidence for RB.

Have you noticed how the 'innocent until proven guilty' rhetoric floods every social media thread about violence and sexual violence against women, but never any other kind of crime?

You don't see it when a bank is robbed, or if an allegedly drunk driver mounts the pavement and kills someone, or if there's a stabbing in the street. Everyone will be baying for the perpetrator's blood, especially if they're a certain kind of immigrant.

But a (normally white) man assualts women and suddenly everyone's soooo concerned with the legal process and not tarnishing the poor guy's reputation.

If you're one of those people, maybe just ask yourself why.

No I've not noticed that. Also:

A) if wasn't me who suggested RB was innocent until proven guilty.
B) technically everyone who is charged with a crime and goes to court is innocent until proven guilty irrespective of race, sex, the crime etc

Thing is he is denying it, and he is yet to be proven guilty, it doesn’t matter we all think he is, that it’s a slam dunk, what matters is what she thinks, and she thinks he hasn’t done it, or is a changed man.

i watched her on the news yesterday, she held his hand to move him away and I thought it is one thing to support him, another to be holding his hand,

I suspect it is likely he is going to prison, and for some considerable time, so will be interesting to see what she does when that happens. She also has children to think of, and I’m sure the last thing she wants is their father to be a convicted rapist, she will be praying desperately he gets found not guilty. So she maybe playing dutiful wife for that reason, hoping against hope he’s found not guilty and her kids don’t ever have to face their father being a convicted rapist.

I imagine if he gets found guilty & sentenced ,she will have enough time away from his manipulation to leave him.

Right, as you said yourself, he's innocent until proven guilty in court - i.e. a conviction and punishment under the law depends on that process.

Outside of that, we are all free to make our own judgements based on what we know. His future relationships, career, reputation etc. aren't subject to 'innocent until proven guilty' principles, and that's what the thread's about, or at least I thought it was.

Profile of the fragrant Mrs Gallacher (doesn't seem to have taken his name)

https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/who-is-russell-brands-wife-laura-gallacher-b1300453.html

I think she must have known his reputation when they got together, she thinks he's a changed man and a Christian 🫤 it's pretty common for wives to 'stand by their man' in these circumstances and she's probably under a lot of pressure from him and his legal team to put on a show of support. If he's convicted, things could look very different.

I don't think that's true. I know someone who got 5 years for sexual assault, not rape, against one person.

Accompanying him to court, holding his hand…it’s a strong statement of support.

She could have laid low and made looking after her girls while their dad is on trial for multiple sexual offences her priority.

Instead, she has actively chosen to be part of the circus.

More fool her.

Her eldest daughter would be about 10 now. Only 6 years off the age of one of the alleged Complainants at the time

More specifically, when white men are accused of VAWG.

In relation to this thread, it is also entirely moot, because the question is; “given everything that has actually happened as of right now, would you stand by your husband?”

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, particularly if my husband already had the reputation of Brand. That said, I wouldn’t marry someone who already had that reputation so perhaps it takes a certain kind of personality to be attracted to that type of character.

If my actual husband was accused of a single charge of sexual assault, I would find it very, very hard to believe. I would probably stand by him unless evidence came to light that couldn’t be ignored. It would definitely change my relationship with him and I’d probably always wonder deep down if it were true. If it were a fake report, I’d want evidence of that before I would accept it as fact. If a series of women not know to each other reported rapes and assaults over a period of years, and it came out that it was a well know rumour amongst his colleagues that he was that type of guy, and female staff were told not to be alone with him, I couldn’t stay with him. Even if it turned out he was innocent in the eyes of the law, it would mean he isn’t the man I thought he was. It would be a complete 180 in his character.

I think it's really difficult to say. If there was one accusation against my husband, I'd stick by him because I know that he won't spend time with any woman alone if he can help it. It would be so out of character. I don't mean 'well he likes to flirt but....', I mean completely out of character.

If there were lots of women from different settings saying the same thing, I'd have to think hard that something about his behaviour had given rise to the allegations.

If he'd been on national TV, boasting about his objectification of women... I'm not sure I'd have to think too hard to believe it.

Our husbands sound very similar! If a woman asked him to buy her a drink he’d look at her like she was mad. 😝

so perhaps it takes a certain kind of personality to be attracted to that type of character.

"I can change him"/ villain reformed by the Love of a Good Woman trope.

This is something that bothers me generally. What a wife chooses to do in these situations is deemed to have so much influence on the case. She can’t win no matter what she does. If she lays low, she is accused of not supporting her husband so he must be guilty. If she openly supports him, she is a fool or stupid or naive or controlled. Personally, I’d prefer we didn’t read anything in to her actions or judge her for her choices. She didn’t abuse any women, why is she being made any part of the issue? Do I wonder what on earth attracted her to him? Of course I do. But I’m not her. I imagine if there are young children involved it’s harder just to turn your back and walk away.

Maybe. But doesn’t that come with him admitting his crimes?

I very much doubt that. If guilty he'll be doing time . . .

The guy that assaulted me has been found guilty of 14 charges (multiple women) and has another 11 charges. Pending sentencing
his wife is standing by him. I couldn’t

I thought the thread was about would you stand by your own partner if they were accused of rape (like RBs wife is)?
Maybe I've misunderstood, it wouldn't be the first time 😂

She is an embarrassment

Exactly. Someone was frothing upthread about a woman sadly getting raped or assaulted because it was in the mere proximity of a migrant hotel. Clearly couldn’t wait to point the finger there.

Yet when multiple people make clear rape claims about the same rich white man who’s a known sex addict, people are falling over themselves to cry “innocent until proven guilty”

Yes yes we know he is innocent in the eyes of the law, but that doesn’t mean his wife and friends etc can’t look at the available evidence and make their own decision. I am not saying they NEED to deem him guilty but the idea they can’t entertain the thought until the court case is over is ridiculous.

2 of my family friends were raped by their older brother. I knew them all growing up but I chose to believe his sisters as soon as I heard the details, I didn’t have to wait until the court decision.