Page 16 | Don’t want my 16 year old here anymore.

Blackwidowsbite · 2026-09-02T22:16:31+00:00

Just that really had enough, the last 6 years have been hell, he’s disrespectful, rude, always threatens to put me on my ass, doesn’t listen to me, do as he is told, eats all the food and has no care about anyone else, he doesn’t go to school is home tutored twice a week. He has ADHD but I’m just done with it all, he refuses his meds, won’t go to his appointments, sleeps all day and is awake all night. I tried putting rules and boundaries in place and he constantly pushes them, he’s a bad influence on his siblings they are becoming like him and I’m a single mum and really struggling. He doesn’t go out, doesn’t want to do anything but play games all day every day, he spends money on my card for his games without my permission, I’ve had this for the last 6 years and I just can’t do it anymore, he is affecting my mental health and I’m constantly exhausted, he kicks off and smashes things, he tries to over power my parenting when I try and tell his siblings off or put rules in place. I don’t want him here anymore. What do I do? How do I get him out? I’m actually scared he’s going to hit me and then his siblings think it’s ok, he’s already attacked me before. I feel like I have to walk on egg shells. This isn’t a life. Do not comment if you haven’t got anything nice to say. This isn’t even the half of what I’ve had to put up with the last 6 years!!

Original poster

Blackwidowsbite · 17/09/2026 09:12

SilverLining77 · 17/09/2026 08:02

I'd also consider wider family and how they deal with DS. There's also too much risk of people being split to 'sides' and drawn into the argument if you don't have one approach to his abusive behaviour.

He's at your DM now - is he abusive to her? How is she reacting to his behaviour?

He’s been back since Tuesday afternoon, he’s fine with her always is. He only went there because she has no time limits on the Internet etc. He thinks I’m stupid.

OP posts:

blackpooolrock · 17/09/2026 09:50

Call your bank or go in and ask tell them to cancel the DD or SO for the phone.

wait til he is asleep and go in his room and take the phone away.

SilverLining77 · 18/09/2026 07:47

Blackwidowsbite · 17/09/2026 09:12

He’s been back since Tuesday afternoon, he’s fine with her always is. He only went there because she has no time limits on the Internet etc. He thinks I’m stupid.

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DM is enabling his behaviour then. Is she scared of him?

Original poster

Blackwidowsbite · 24/09/2026 13:57

feeling so shit today, take SS again because still hadn’t heard anything since the last call and oh they had closed the case.

OP posts:

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 24/09/2026 14:15

Oh @Blackwidowsbite I'm not even a little bit surprised but fucking hell.

Where is he now? at your house or at your mother's?

Sadly I think the only thing you might be able to do is keep on laying down the boundaries, wait until he goes ballistic again, and then ring the police again and refuse to take him back.

StuntNun · 24/09/2026 16:58

I’m sorry you aren’t getting the support you need, OP. It’s a shitshow.

roaringdragon · 24/09/2026 18:28

You can challenge the refusal to properly assess. You can complain, ask for an independent review (that’s not so independent but is a stepping stone), then complain to the LGO? If not, it is worth requesting another assessment then doing so if refused. Depending on the specifics of your case, JR may be possible.

Original poster

Blackwidowsbite · Yesterday 15:23

Been so tearful today, I don’t even know why. I do feel very alone and isolated at the moment, I don’t have friends or family I can speak too, I think I need to go to the GP Monday and get myself seen. All I have done this morning is cry. I know I sound like a daft twat and I know it will pass it usually does. I always see stuff online (I know it’s not always sincere and people paint the perfect life’s) just not nice to see how everyone else seems happy, settled down and has the support that I lack at the moment. Makes me feel rubbish about myself as a person and as a parent. I feel so worthless at the moment, it’s because I feel like I’ve failed at everything in life, relationships, career, being a parent. I look run down and old these days don’t even take care of myself anymore, used to always make an effort to feel nice and good just don’t see the point anymore. I often wonder why I was even put on this earth with the amount of shit I’ve had to deal with, no it’s not as bad as some others but it extremely overwhelming. I feel like a lost cause. 35 on my own with 4 kids, divorce under my belt and cannot see much of a future…. ☹️

OP posts:

Lovelyworld1 · Yesterday 16:14

You’re not daft at all, and you haven’t failed at life or as a parent. You’re overwhelmed and carrying so much on your own. ❤️ I’m really glad you’re going to the GP Monday, as you need help to get you through.
Social media posts are rubbish and false… just people posting fake branding of themselves.
Concentrate on you and your young children
This is a horrible time and not your whole life.

Original poster

Blackwidowsbite · Yesterday 17:26

Lovelyworld1 · Yesterday 16:14

You’re not daft at all, and you haven’t failed at life or as a parent. You’re overwhelmed and carrying so much on your own. ❤️ I’m really glad you’re going to the GP Monday, as you need help to get you through.
Social media posts are rubbish and false… just people posting fake branding of themselves.
Concentrate on you and your young children
This is a horrible time and not your whole life.

I will be ok just been one of them days. Just so exhausted 😩

OP posts:

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · Yesterday 17:44

The older I get - I'm an older parent, we thought the last duckling was the menopause - the more I realise just how overstretched we are, generally. It's even worse as a single mum, and a thousand times worse when surrounded by conflict and high stress.

Your situation is asking far, far too much of you. It's really no wonder you feel over-done and as if you can't do everything as well as you'd like.

You're doing a huge amount - working, single mum to three with no family support and one of those an extraordinarily difficult teen. Please keep in mind that you really are working miracles every day. It's okay to admit that youv'e got far too much on your plate and you're spread too thin, and you can't do everything. Be gentle on yourself.

midsummabreak · Today 00:08

Blackwidowsbite · 17/09/2026 09:12

He’s been back since Tuesday afternoon, he’s fine with her always is. He only went there because she has no time limits on the Internet etc. He thinks I’m stupid.

Show quote history

He doesn’t think that you are stupid. He’s just scared and hanging on to his phone and games as it’s like a lifeline and something he can control and makes him feel better , when he feels overwhelmed and that he has been failure at school. He likely does know where to start and is scared of failing at applying for jobs and other opportunities, and is hiding from his responsibilities.
I would let him be with his phone - don’t create unnecessary distractions from the issue that he is facing- and focus instead on new beginnings, respect and love for himself and his family

You could suggest instead that together you can make a list of his personal preferences for how he sees things for the next year and what he wants to do. Tell him that he can start again, and it can and will work out for him. Let him know that many other teens before him have been in his position and they are now doing whatever their chosen volunteer work or job now

Tell him that he can do anything that he wants with his life and that by working with you and/or a counsellor - the can put together ideas for a plan for his future

Well done on setting boundaries and being honest and straightforward while still being respectful -he’s likely not going to acknowledge that his behaviour was not acceptable, but he will be feeling the repercussions of a night in police custody and that you stayed strong. You are a great role model- your courage and determination to maintain a peaceful resolution not be lost on him or the younger ones. 💕

midsummabreak · Today 00:56

Blackwidowsbite · Yesterday 15:23

Been so tearful today, I don’t even know why. I do feel very alone and isolated at the moment, I don’t have friends or family I can speak too, I think I need to go to the GP Monday and get myself seen. All I have done this morning is cry. I know I sound like a daft twat and I know it will pass it usually does. I always see stuff online (I know it’s not always sincere and people paint the perfect life’s) just not nice to see how everyone else seems happy, settled down and has the support that I lack at the moment. Makes me feel rubbish about myself as a person and as a parent. I feel so worthless at the moment, it’s because I feel like I’ve failed at everything in life, relationships, career, being a parent. I look run down and old these days don’t even take care of myself anymore, used to always make an effort to feel nice and good just don’t see the point anymore. I often wonder why I was even put on this earth with the amount of shit I’ve had to deal with, no it’s not as bad as some others but it extremely overwhelming. I feel like a lost cause. 35 on my own with 4 kids, divorce under my belt and cannot see much of a future…. ☹️

Thus is a load of bull you are a lot overwhelmed but a great deal loved by your children- and a wonderful hardworking and loving mother and role w. Don’t underestimate all the good stuff you have done for your family. Your young son is feeling stressed and lost and directing his anger and frustration at you- this does not mean you are in any way a bad person or parent. Hold your head high darling you are doing amazingly well in a shit situation. Spoil your self, do something u love but have been neglecting , eg take time out and do a walk with the younger kids and/or hot chocolates and treats at home. Do stuff for you you like such as spend time on your hair,wear something fun, look after your skin, nails, hair, read a book, have a yum breakfast and do some thing kid for your self today 🌸

midsummabreak · Today 00:58

*do something kind for yourself today💕