Don’t want my 16 year old here anymore.

If he has known since the age of ten that you didn’t want him, then it doesnt excuse his behaviour, but it does explain it a bit. And will not alter anything now.

I suggested a boxing club before but he will only go if someone else suggests it. He won’t if you do. He hates you as much as you hate him.

You do need to speak to people who can do something. Plenty of suggestions made. But you need to be proactive and go back to talk to them. And to get help, hard though it may be try to do it calmly and not get angry. Ask clear questions about what, who, where you can get help if not from them. For yourself and for him. And for your other children.

Yet he knows right from wrong and I’m not the one who asked my ex husband to cheat and leave us and my daughters dad to be a complete cunt. He should see these adult men as disgraces and know that’s not how you act and treat someone, anyone especially your own mother.

LOL 😂

Yep all my fault. A Typical narrow minded, judgemental and typical text book reply.

LOL 😂

Yep all my fault. A Typical narrow minded, judgemental and typical text book reply.

Exactly this. The boy needs a father figure. Whether it's biological dad or grandad to model himself on. He doesn't seem to have any sort of direction or purpose.

Take him to his dad's place and drive away without him. Make the deadbeat look after his son.

Just that really had enough, the last 6 years have been hell, he’s disrespectful, rude, always threatens to put me on my ass, doesn’t listen to me, do as he is told, eats all the food and has no care about anyone else, he doesn’t go to school is home tutored twice a week. He has ADHD but I’m just done with it all, he refuses his meds, won’t go to his appointments, sleeps all day and is awake all night. I tried putting rules and boundaries in place and he constantly pushes them, he’s a bad influence on his siblings they are becoming like him and I’m a single mum and really struggling. He doesn’t go out, doesn’t want to do anything but play games all day every day, he spends money on my card for his games without my permission, I’ve had this for the last 6 years and I just can’t do it anymore, he is affecting my mental health and I’m constantly exhausted, he kicks off and smashes things, he tries to over power my parenting when I try and tell his siblings off or put rules in place. I don’t want him here anymore. What do I do? How do I get him out? I’m actually scared he’s going to hit me and then his siblings think it’s ok, he’s already attacked me before. I feel like I have to walk on egg shells. This isn’t a life.

Do not comment if you haven’t got anything nice to say. This isn’t even the half of what I’ve had to put up with the last 6 years!!

I have explained the situation and where everything changed 6 years ago. If you go down the thread it’s there. It’s the fact his dad is a useless prick, then my break up with my husband and him leaving and then my narcissist ex, it’s kind of learnt behaviour in a way from the men that have been present in his life. He has no respect for women at all and is very sexist, racist and homophobic and I don’t even know why.

Too many people here speak only from their own limited life experience and project how they feel about their own little darlings who do not behave in this terrible way and then criticise someone who is going through a hell they will never experience.

Ignore them.

I am a retired nurse and social worker. I have worked in community teams dealing with children and adults with learning disabilities, many of whom had extremely challenging behaviour.

My advice is this:

Find out the name of the head of child services in your area and write a letter to them making it very clear that you fear for your own safety, the safety of your other children and for your son’s mental and physical health.

Give examples of his aggression towards you, the theft, the vandalism, the influence on the younger children and the effect on the overall household.

Describe the effect on your health and the health of your younger children.

Describe how he interferes with and undermines your parenting of the younger children and the effect of this on their behaviour.

Specify your complete lack of support and isolation.

Point out that you are being left to deal with a young person who, if in any type of supported care, would be assessed as needing an entire team and quite possibly a 2:1 staffing ratio.

Describe how your son refuses help in the community such as CAHMS leading to them abandoning him and that he refuses to attend school.

Point out that at age 16 he is fast approaching adulthood and you, as a single woman with younger children, are being bullied, threatened, assaulted and effectively held hostage in your own home by this young man.

Tell them that after years of asking for help and getting nowhere they are now personally on notice that this is a tragedy waiting to happen.

Tell them that although you love your son you also fear him and you fear for your younger children and because of this you cannot continue to have your son living in your home.

After finding out other relevant names copy this letter to the chief constable of your area, the head of education, the head of CAHMS, your GP and your MP.

If you can possibly afford it, send all letters by registered post so they have to be signed for.

Also contact your nearest women’s refuge and speak to them about your fears for your safety. You won’t be the first woman to contact them who is frightened of a teenage son and they might be able to add some weight to wake up local services to your situation.

I’ve spoken with the social today o have explained everything and they have forwarded my case and they should be in contact in due course. I have also done a referral for capa first response in regards to child to parent abuse also advised by his tutoring team. I am hoping I get help this time as I’ve told them everything. Thank you to everyone who gave me good advice and didn’t give me shit for wanting help in very shitty circumstances. To the people who blamed me and criticised my life choices and mistakes to make me feel shit about myself during a difficult situation I hope a bird shits on your head this afternoon. 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

I really have despite feeling sad and guilty about even thinking of moving him out.

See … you read everything I wrote and your response was “yep, all my fault”. I was very clear that it’s not all your fault but of course you are partly to blame for the impact that YOUR actions and decisions have had on him. Do you really lack the introspection to see that? He is clearly angry, maybe it’s partly because he feels you fucked up his life and refuse to take even a tiny bit of responsibility!

I’ve spoken with the social today o have explained everything and they have forwarded my case and they should be in contact in due course. I have also done a referral for capa first response in regards to child to parent abuse also advised by his tutoring team. I am hoping I get help this time as I’ve told them everything. Thank you to everyone who gave me good advice and didn’t give me shit for wanting help in very shitty circumstances. To the people who blamed me and criticised my life choices and mistakes to make me feel shit about myself during a difficult situation I hope a bird shits on your head this afternoon. 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻