Don’t want my 16 year old here anymore.

When he assaults his brothers ring the police. Social services can’t ignore it then.

Exactly this. People would rather she kick a 16yr old boy who already is massively suffering out of his home than turn off the WiFi and take away his games console. We are so brainwashed by big tech. You really don’t think it’s worth a try? Be prepared to call the police if he kicks off. Call them every single time.

My DS has ADHD too and although he's older now and far more settled down I can still remember the dreadful days when he wouldn't do a damn thing I asked him to do and was up almost all night but still up all day too getting by on 3-4 hours sleep at most. Try SS again and as pp said tell them you are at crisis point and making him homeless. They have a statutory duty to help get his housed. You could tell him he could come for a meal once a week.

Alltheworries

Well done for getting help for your child and getting them.out of the house. You suggested the GP. That does sound like a good idea. Can you say what was the crucial factor in getting action fir your child.

What about your daughter's dad, OP? His daughter is being subjected to a negative household environment. Can he help at all?

No advice to add to the excellent suggestion by PP of writing to your head of children's services, but I wanted to send support, this all sounds horrendous for you.

It may be worth going to the GP yourself and telling them how its impacting the little ones and asking them directly to help you. Get your situation on record with as many people as you possibly can.

You could ask the GP to make a MASH safeguarding referral for you (or make one yourself, there will be a form on your local council website).

The idea of the MASH hub is they can draw together safeguarding info from all different places and spot patterns and offer help. Good luck.

He is heading towards Young Offenders Prison and then Adult prison if he doesn't change.

If the son cares about his 3 year old sister, how about getting her dad involved? He should be involved anyway, he should be protecting his daughter from this negative home environment.

You call social services and ask for help. If he threatens violence you call the police.

You don’t know why? He’s watched his mum get into relationships with men who mistreat her. He models himself on these men who have been held up to him as examples of adult manhood.

Have you called social services for help OP?

Can you call the police when he attacks members of the household?

You might not recognise this as domestic abuse but it is.

Contact woman's aid and consider calling the police. Being arrested might give him a kick up the butt.

Is he in school? Or college? Was he disruptive and violent in school too?

I'm only asking as I'd suggest talking with someone at the school or college. At our primary school, we'd much rather a parent comes to us and says "I'm really struggling, I can't handle how he is at home, please help" as we can work as a team. We can signpost the parent to support locally, but we can also talk about what approaches work well in school, what doesn't work well, and it really helps for the school staff to understand what's happening at home.

It could be that he's aged out of that kind of support from school but in a non-judgemental way, that's what I'd suggest as a first port of call.

I'm so sorry that you're living like this, it must be really stressful and isolating.

I saw someone else already ask about any sports or gym as that was another thing I thought of when I read your post. My sons go nearly daily to the gym for and they play team sports. One of them commented a few years ago that he likes his gym training and the training and matches as it helps to get any aggression out in a safe way, he feels lighter and calmer after a work out. I know it's different as he's not got the same behaviours or character as your 16 year old but I was just thinking about the gym impact on his mental health.

My DH found a sport that really turned things around for him as a teen too, he was an angry young man and in trouble alot but he had really positive male role models at this sport who taught him about respect and responsibility and those old fellas are still a huge part of his life and made a massive difference.

I'm so sorry that you've not had the support you want and need from social services. Are you able to contact Action for Children? They've got some useful contacts and signposting and advice on their website but you might prefer to talk to someone in real life. I found this page for you and there are more contacts if your scroll to the bottom of the page: Dealing with violent behaviour from your child or teenager

You shouldn’t have to put up with this
He needs to understand that bad behaviour has consequences.
I understand I’m not walking in your shoes OP
but I just would not be able to put up with this behaviour. It would break me. I’ve had awful behaviour from my sons before and honestly the only thing they seemed to understand cold toughness
I honestly would have called the Police