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Original poster

I had an affair and I want my affair partner to be discovered

680 replies

Gemitf · 30/08/2026 15:47

Had an affair with a married man who has young children. I’m also married with young children.

Since it ended recently, he has gone back to his wife and kids and is living happily like nothing ever happened. I know his wife to say hi to as our kids are at the same school. Everytime I see her it kills me. I can’t bear knowing that he has ‘got away with it’ and hasn’t taken any accountability for his actions.

These feelings are made worse by the fact that my marriage has suffered so badly as a result. I haven’t yet told my husband, but I know I am going to have to if I want any chance of saving the marriage. I can’t continue living dishonestly for the rest of our lives. I assume he will (rightly) want to divorce me. Everything inside me wants to tell my affair partner’s wife what has happened so that he can experience the pain I am experiencing. The bitterness I am feeling is so strong. I want him to be exposed. Should I tell her?

OP posts:
Weirdwonderfully · 05/09/2026 19:02

Gemitf · 04/09/2026 14:13

Thanks all. I think he is manipulating me and everything is on his own terms. I’m so sick of feeling this way.

You need to get a good firm grip of yourself

NotMeAtAll · Yesterday 03:33

Gemitf · 04/09/2026 14:13

Thanks all. I think he is manipulating me and everything is on his own terms. I’m so sick of feeling this way.

How is he manipulating you? You could just block him. You won't walk away. It's your fault that you won't do that, not him.

summitfever · Yesterday 12:28

He knows exactly what he’s doing. And he knows you’re letting him get access to you and you emotions. He’s enjoying this op, you really need to open your eyes to this guy, look at what he’s doing to his wife, and to you, he’s not a good person - at all!

loosingjammer · Yesterday 15:59

I know several women like this who are involved in a fairly but not always distant way with other men other than their husbands - texting, suggestive texts, the odd meeting. They won't give up. They won't block them as they say "it's giving the man more power than he deserves". They don't want to. They want that buzz of him messaging them. It brings some fun to their lives. They post on FB about their wonderful family, husband and kids publicly so the men can see. Friends of them praise them about their wonderful life -if only they knew the reality. Yes I'm looking at you ....

hourglass2 · Yesterday 20:48

loosingjammer · Yesterday 15:59

I know several women like this who are involved in a fairly but not always distant way with other men other than their husbands - texting, suggestive texts, the odd meeting. They won't give up. They won't block them as they say "it's giving the man more power than he deserves". They don't want to. They want that buzz of him messaging them. It brings some fun to their lives. They post on FB about their wonderful family, husband and kids publicly so the men can see. Friends of them praise them about their wonderful life -if only they knew the reality. Yes I'm looking at you ....

I've met a few people (men and women) like that over the years under the guise that they're just "friends"..

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