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MNHQ

Mumsnet Christmas Appeal/Secret Santa - your thoughts please?

258 replies

JustineMumsnet · 08/09/2014 11:14

Hi all,

It's that time of year again where we are looking towards Christmas and thinking about the annual Mumsnet Secret Santa.

For those of you who've no clue what we're on about, the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal is an annual (obviously) tradition in which MNers nominate other MNers whom they feel to be particularly deserving of support/reward/love to receive a Secret Santa gift. More about it here - and here's how it works plus some FAQs, too.

As we said, it has a long and honourable history on MN - but some have suggested that now we've got Giving Week we should think about retiring the Secret Santa.

So we thought we'd take this opportunity to ask you, before we launch it as usual, if you'd like us to continue with it. We do love helping with the Secret Santa and the thankyou thread is always a very moving read, but it's quite a mammoth thing to organise and there have been a number of complaints about gifts not arriving and/or a lack of thankyou messages which has put a slight dampener on it in recent years.

In short we're happy to stop if folks think it has run its course - and happy to continue if people still think it's worthwhile.

We'd be very grateful for any and all thoughts. Please do post them here.

OP posts:
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ChippingInLatteLover · 23/09/2014 23:16

Have fun Sandy Wine

ShanghaiDiva · 23/09/2014 12:50

Bit late to the party, but great this is going ahead this year. I took part last year and had sufficient info about my recipient (book lover and ages of children) to organise a gift. Sandy - wishing you lots of fun with your spreadsheets!

MNHQ
SandyMumsnet · 23/09/2014 12:35

Thanks for the Wine and kind words of support.
I can't wait to get my spreadsheets out!

Mumsnet Christmas Appeal/Secret Santa - your thoughts please?
BIWI · 21/09/2014 17:00

It's very hard to check a nominees history, because you're not given their MN posting name, scousa. I was given some details about my nominee by MNHQ and I asked for a bit more, for clarification, so that I could buy something a bit more specific. But even if you don't have the information, nothing wrong with a voucher!

scousadelic · 21/09/2014 16:52

I do like this in a "small acts of kindness" way but have decided not to be involved this year because of a lot of the concerns others have mentioned. vezzie has made some excellent points upthread and, like her, I will be donating to the local foodbank, Refuge, etc

I'm surprised at the people saying how much they knew about their nominee or they checked their nominees posting history. I don't think I knew anything about mine other than "1 child, age x" which I felt hampered the giving of a really personal gift, I just sent vouchers as I had nothing at all to go on

NormaStanleyFletcher · 20/09/2014 18:13

I could have worn tinsel in my hair from October?

Why did nobody tell me this?

LineRunner · 20/09/2014 10:20

Good luck, SandyMN, we salute you Wine

BIWI · 20/09/2014 06:13

Hear, hear Maryz!

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 19/09/2014 23:24

Great decision MNHQ

Wine for Sandy ***

Maryz · 19/09/2014 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 18/09/2014 10:48

We're happy to say no self-nominating. (It's only been allowed in really exceptional circumstances in the past!)

LineRunner · 17/09/2014 22:51

May I please ask what MNHQ decided about people nominating themselves, which many on this thread have expressed some concerns about?

Also can a MNer nominate more than one person?

Thank you.

BIWI · 17/09/2014 21:00

Thanks, Rowan. I think that sounds like a good solution. Let's hope it works out this year. I'm very pleased to think that SandyMN is someone who really enjoys doing this, as it is undoubtedly a hugely onerous task!

Can we also, perhaps, ask you to look out for and to zap especially sneery and unpleasant posts about the whole thing? Perhaps you need to introduce some Christmas Talk Guidelines?!

IamtheZombie · 17/09/2014 20:34

Zombie does happy dance.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 17/09/2014 17:17

So pleased it's going ahead and it sounds like you've covered as many pitfalls/downsides as possible.

SmileFlowers

SauvignonBlanche · 17/09/2014 16:16

Sounds great! Smile

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 17/09/2014 16:12

We've kicked the spending limit idea around a bit, but to be honest we'd rather not - it's not our preference to set lots of rules about things (although we appreciate it may not always seem this way Grin) and we'd much rather that MNers carry on acting in the spirit of the thing, which is:

a) to be excellent to each other,
b) to create a magic circle of joy-giving, and
c) to know that whatever you give and whatever you get, what counts is that someone out there is thinking about you and/or that you've made someone's day.

We will add a sentence to our gift-giving guidance, though, setting the 'norm' mark at around a tenner (while emphasising that homemade and good quality second-hand are also hugely welcome, and that NOBODY should spend what they can't afford, and that it's really the thought that counts).

We're going to be a bit stricter this year about posts and threads saying 'where's my gift/where's my thank you' - if you report these to us we'll zap them and drop the posters a nice mail asking them to do any necessary chasing off-board via MNHQ. We're also going to try to automate it so that donors and recipients get messaged when gifts are received/despatched - not to replace the 'Thank you' thread but just so people know what's happening.

And we'll add something to the email to recipients asking them very nicely if they could hold off from describing their gifts in great detail (to avoid making donors feel bad if their gifts weren't of equivalent value) - but this probably isn't something we'll police closely, it will just be a suggestion.

PandasRock · 17/09/2014 12:44

I was nominated one year, (and was absurdly emotional about it - I'd had a crappy year), and in my reply to MNHQ I stressed that while I was very pleased to receive (and accept) my nomination, that we were very fortunate to not need anything at all, and it was very much the 'thought that counted' in my case.

I would have been happy for MNHQ to pass along those details to whoever it was who sent me my gift, as it was information freely given b me, iyswim.

I do see, of course, that that is not an infallible system, but there is only so much that can be done by MNHQ, and the whole Secret Santa remains in the realm of 'give/take part if you can afford to, but beware of potential for scamming', as it always has.

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 17/09/2014 12:31

@GodPlayedByJamesMason

I'm so pleased its carrying on, I know it must be a ball-ache for MN (or specifically Sandy!) but I just think it gives this place some of its 'heart' Grin

We actually were speaking about this in the office yesterday and SandyMN said it's one of her favourite parts of her job. It is a massive task for her, but thankfully she's an organisational demon. She also has special dispensation to wear tinsel in her hair from mid-October onwards, which is a big incentive obvs.

Re information about recipients: the mail we send out to recipients asks them to tell us any extra info (such as children's ages) they think would be useful for their donor to know, and clearly says that any info they choose (and it's entirely up to them) to give us will be passed on to the donor to enable them to give something appropriate.

Our team is extremely aware of potential confidentiality issues and we simply wouldn't pass on extra information without the recipient's permission. But we'll add a line to that email this year to make possible anonymity issues extra-clear.

WingDefence · 17/09/2014 12:16

I've only just seen this thread and I'm glad it's going to continue. I'd like to echo the previous suggestion that perhaps a spending limit be set? I've received (and nominated and donated) in the past and have felt embarrassed as well as touched about the voucher amount I received, when I could only donate half of that.

Thanks
MNHQ
SandyMumsnet · 17/09/2014 11:34

@FruVikingessOla

Yes, you can decline Wips. Either by not responding to the PM/email from MNHQ in the first place - or you can respond, but say that you feel that you don't want anything sent to you.

A handful of folk each year do prefer not to accept their nomination and we completely respect that. It would be really helpful to us if you'd let us know. We feel it's important to check, so giving us a heads up would save us having to send out an email.
Thanks

GodPlayedByJamesMason · 17/09/2014 11:21

I'm so pleased its carrying on, I know it must be a ball-ache for MN (or specifically Sandy!) but I just think it gives this place some of its 'heart' Grin

notapizzaeater · 17/09/2014 11:07

In the past (not last year) you where given the mums net user name, I know I went on and looked at their posting history and tailored my gifts based on what they'd posted. Last year you where given a new user name so I wasn't sure if my present was appropriate at all, as it happens the recipient loved it.

usualsuspect333 · 17/09/2014 10:27

Do you always pass on the reasons? I think if the reasons for nomination are passed on you could possibly work out who that person was?

I don't think I was giving a reason why the person I was donating to was nominated?

Not being arsey here, just curious really.

usualsuspect333 · 17/09/2014 10:23

That's fair enough, Rowan. I was given ages of children. I had no idea if the person I was donating to had money worries or was in need though. Which seemed to be what BIWI was saying. I might have got the wrong end of the stick though.