Poking holes in condoms!

Women are perfectly capable of abstaining too but they don't, they have sex then wail and moan that they didn't expect to get pregnant. They are usually treated with support and given an option to not proceed with the pg. Are you suggesting that all women abstain from sex and have sex only for the purpose of reproduction?

Absolutely agree.

Happened to a friend of mine. He took the condom off without her realising. She got pregnant.

But hey, "meh" right? It "depends on the context". Maybe he really wanted a child. She shouldn't have had sex if she wasn't prepared for the possibility of pregnancy.

Apparently. According to some of these replies

Not thinking about the child then.

My sister took fifteen years to get pregnant trying with 2 different partners multiple rounds of IVF with both. For me, the first we decided we would try, I came off the pill and I think my partner pretty much winked at me across the room and I got pregnant. The second we thought we needed to wait because I had a c-section- I was breastfeeding and we were using condoms and I still fell pregnant.

The problem with the I’ve used condoms and it’s never happened to me argument is it completely ignores the underlying levels of fertility. It’s also incredibly damaging to all those people who do have accidents because it puts in a level of suspicion that is often uncalled for.

And with the morning after pill, it’s fine if you’ve forgotten your contraception, but in the case of an accident it’s often too late and you are then looking at an abortion-which not everyone agrees with or feels able to do.

Crikey. Why does she want to make her life more difficult than it already is?

Regardless of whether he knows or not, he needs to get on the waiting list for the snip (with or without her consent).

Then why is it that whenever an OP posts to say their usual method of contraception has failed they are always told they should have used a condom as well. And it’s only ever a matter of time before the shouts of ‘well he should have had a vasectomy’ start.

It’s not rape. That has a very specific definition. Nobody had a penis inserted into them against their will.

It should, however, be classified as a serious sexual assault and it a disgusting thing to do to the unwilling parent and the poor child who will be born not having been wanted by both parents.

OP - I don’t think I could continue to be friends with someone who had done this. Every time I saw that child I would feel sad. Especially as it also sounds like the family have enough on their plate already with three children, one of whom has significant disabilities, and parents who clearly have a dysfunctional and abusive relationship. This doesn’t bode well for the future for this child and the existing three. 😔

I'm sorry, what now?

Are you actually serious?

God that’s awful. I think I’d have to step back from the friendship completely.

I don't give a shit if he's been 'stringing her along'. It's fucking disgusting and unforgivable to deliberately get pregnant and pretend it's an accident. Genuinely appalling and there is zero excuse for it.

Whilst I get the logic, I think I’d be a) instantly put off that he didn’t trust me to that extent, if he thought I might be damaging condoms then what on earth are we doing having sex; and b) I’d then worry if the instance to use his meant he had damaged them (I was stealthed many years ago)

That pregnancy was almost entirely predictable sadly.

Youre taking the piss, right?

It’s not rape. That has a very specific definition. Nobody had a penis inserted into them against their will.

Wrong.

It is classed a sexual assault to poke holes in a condom and risk pregnancy against someone’s will, and yes, some courts will class it as rape.

rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-stealthing/

I really REALLY hope that poster is not being serious!

I'm shocked at some the replies!

Completely unacceptable. I'm not sure I could be friends with someone like that.

Who does she think she is to just stomp all over his dreams like that?

There. I have amended this for you.

Why do you think her behaviour is OK? It isn't. Not at all.

They have three children already, one of whom has extra needs.

Disgusting comment. Regardless of any context.

So they’re not wrong. Sexual assault is not always rape. Rape has a very specific definition which is penetration by a penis. So yes it is abhorrent, and if able to be proved illegal, but it’s not rape.

I can assure you that people can fall pregnant even when using a condom when there is no laziness or user error involved. Ffs. Get off your high horse. Classic case of not understanding that sometimes people have experiences which differ from your own 🙄

Edited to add : In another episode of ‘not everyone has mirroring experiences in life’, when the condom fails, it is also possible to fall pregnant even when you take the MAP exactly as directed.

Condoms have a perfect use clinical test failure of 2% and a real world use failure of nearly 20%.

That means if you use condoms you still have the risk of getting knocked up for 1 out of every 6 shags or so and even with absolute perfect use 1 out of every 50 shags.

People get knocked up while using condoms all the time, its a great std barrier for a lot of infections but not the best birth control.

I genuinely think this is clickbait though, poking holes in condoms is urban legend level usually thrown around by men who don't want to take responsibility or the women that want to baby those men.

Its like poking a hole in a balloon, go ahead and try it, very few people can do it without causing critical failure (which is obvious when it happens) and I'm not talking party tricks like putting sellotape on to reinforce it. Even those who are trained to be with needles and have access to precision equipment (like some medical staff) you cannot just do it blind with a random pin through an unopened packet and leave no obvious marks.

You just put the pin through the foil. Unless he inspects every pack before opening with a magnifying glass, it isn't going to be noticeable. Did you never watch anything during the ones, saw this shtick on some many films/snap operas?

Is he not also your friend? Why doesn’t he deserve to know?