Poking holes in condoms!

It would feel different. You would be able to tell the packet wasn't air tight

I would not want to be friends with anyone who would do that. Of course it's a total violation of trust for anyone, man or woman, to interfere with contraception.

I also agree that it's best to stay well clear of the situation under the circumstances. It's likely to get messy, and you don't need any dirt to be flung onto you.

I'm pretty sure @DebbieSavage is a troll. They've been on other threads saying stupid stuff, and I'm not the first to accuse them of being a troll.

I honestly feel this is akin to sexual abuse and onto as far to call this rape but Jesus it’s awful. She knows she’s in the wrong as she’s not exactly making it public. She knows it’s not acceptable. It was done maliciously without his consent and on purpose to become pregnant against his will.

Shoe on the other foot - if a man purposely tampered with a women’s birth control plan to get her pregnant they would be slated on here.

I could never look at her the same and it would be a relationship/friendship ender for me.

Except it is. It is classed as rape. Even if a woman does it to a man,

Read the information in that link I posted!

I think deceit in a relationship never bodes well......
40-50 million sperm per ejaculate means if a few hundred thousand seep out the pin prick pregnancy may happen.
This could possibly be considered sex by deception (if he was deceived) this invalidates consent.
The case of Andrew Lewis in 2014,he was sentenced to 4 yrs imprisonment for poking a hole in a condom,as it invalidated consent.He eventualy pleaded guilty to rape. In germany in 2022 a woman was found guilty of sexual assault and was convicted of sexual assault.
So, potentially your friend has admitted to a criminal offence .....

Has it touched a nerve? Were you strung along? Because I cannot think of any other reason for such appalling comments.

I think OP is envisaging a sprouted mung bean!

That's completely out of order and a betrayal of trust in their relationship. He has a right to be part of their decisions as a couple which have huge financial implications even without taking into account how many other children they have (I saw you say they have 3 under 7).

It's a terrible thing to do and will have a big impact on the rest of his life. Even if he divorces her and refuses to share childcare, he is likely to suffer emotionally for this (as will the child). And how much is it likely to cost him financially, even if he only pays the minimum? Could easily be around £100,000 over the life of the child. I'd seriously consider telling him if I were you. And I'd definitely end the friendship.

The fact that a small number of men do it to women doesn't mean that it's fine to do it to this man. Just like it's not okay to burgle people's houses just because some criminals do.

Jesus what a bitch she is.

Ah, the "women can never be in the wrong" brigade.

I agree it is pretty shoddy behaviour, however I would add both parties should be able to trust their partner and what she did breached that trust. It’s unfair to put the onus solely on the man.

I just don’t think it’s worth engaging with this person….

(to clarify I am talking about the person you are responding to!)

Hopefully for him she'll have a miscarriage.

This is absolutely appalling behaviour. It’s a terrible thing to do to trick someone into having a child whether you’re a man or a woman.

If she already has three small children and one with a disability it will put significant pressure on the whole family. What an irresponsible woman she is. I would consider this grounds for divorce it’s a horrible betrayal.

How many other people has she confided in?
I'd be inclined to tell her husband anonymously.

@condomgate
That was a rotten thing to do
But it's done
Just hoping that her DHs shock
Will eventually turn to joy 🙄
I understand why you feel the way you do
This to me shows the selfish i-want mentality of someone not caring about you or outcomes as long as she gets what she wants in a given situation, I think
I'd keep my distance too.

You poke the holes THROUGH the packet while the condom is still in there. Hardly rocket science 😂

I didn’t create the statistics. Somewhere in there 2% of users are having genuine accidents, and a further 13-15% are not using condoms correctly if they’re still getting pregnant. I didn’t say anything that negates that genuine failures happen. So get off your high horse telling me off.

That's so devious and she has sexually assaulted him. This is a form of reproductive coercion. What a truly awful, selfish woman.

Do forgive me for not having thought it through.. I feel better for not finding that the apparently obvious answer though, unlike some.. clearly.. 🤔

It was more a response to the idea that you remove them from the foil packet and somehow put it back in or doing the 'pricking' as some kind of prelude to the 'other pricking' than a scientific analysis of the ins and outs. I still maintain that 1 or 2 pin pricks would be pretty much undetectable and that a man in the moment probably wouldn't notice. I may test the theory.....not the actual 'can this get me pregnant' that shop has well and truely shut, just whether it can be noticed.

Your friend is disgusting! It sounds like her DH had very good reason not to want more children and she's stealthed him (which should be illegal in this country) she's thrown the security of her entire family into turmoil because of her own selfishness. There is absolutley no good reason for her to have done this considering she has 3 children already and her housing situation would mean they're overcrowded! I would 100% drop her as a friend and tell her why. I'm not sure if I could keep it from my husband (or even her husband) either.

I can't believe the meh responses! I agree condoms aren't 100% effective but she purposefully sabotaged his contraception!? There's a massive difference between using contraception and accepting the small failure risk compared to having that contraception rendered useless without your knowledge!