AIBU to struggle with having to hide my genuine opinions about colleagues at work?

You can’t suppress your feelings you just have to avoid getting into the situation as much as possible

I end up on the receiving end of teenagers having un-filtered rants at work. Some are ND, disregulated or traumatised, some are just rude whether they are ND or NT. There are a few names that make my heart sink because whatever the underlying reason or difficulty is, they will be incredibly unco-operative and unpleasant about whatever needs doing, and that's unpleasant for anyone else in the path of what they want.

I have to remain professional and as calm as is earthly possible, even if I have PMT, ill or am simply having a lousy day. I can not afford to let my filter slip because I am an adult being paid to be professional and responsible. It takes deep breaths, and lots of neutral statements. I get to go home and have a break from them; these interactions too shall pass.

There are some that it took a while to build a positive relationship with, but I got there through professionalism. Some I'm a bit hit and miss with depending on their mood and capacity. I could not have built that without a social filter.

I love my job and do it because I have the social skills for it, but I can vouch that working with people who let negative opinions flow unfiltered is draining and unpleasant for everyone else, and doesn't look like a pleasant life for them.

I know I've had an emotionally depleting day when I come home and promptly nap to recover and then face peopling with my own autistic teenagers who are often in the throes of venting and re-regulating after their day of masking at school...

Would being told to get lost affect you? As you’re extremely sensitive to criticism of your desk, I’m going to assume you’d react poorly to criticism of your person.

Anxiety meds help my autistic DH in terms of emotional regulation, impulse control, and not ruminating obsessively on how irritated he feels all the time

I've always taken the view that part of what I'm being paid for is to be polite and pleasant to colleagues and that doing so is to my benefit because to not do so would make work a very unpleasant place to be.

Fortunately I like my colleagues so it's only the usual problem of finding being with people absolutely exhausting even if I do like them. And remembering not to infodump or shower them in too many random facts.

How messy is your desk? Is it just a few files and books covering the whole surface OR 3 day old coffee mugs, stale food,unwashed cutlery, crumbs everywhere??

Stale food and unwashed cutlery isn’t messy - it’s dirty and people would be right to object to dirt

a leap to assume it’s dirty rather than untidy

being polite doesn’t extend to having to have a chat with them.

I suspect because the answer will reveal whether that person is reasonable to raise it with you.

If your desk is just messy because that is how you work then it is okay to just ignore her or reply that this is how you work.

If your desk is littered with stale food and dirty coffee mugs then you need to clear these away. That is just an unwritten rule of working in an office.

Nobody wants anyone's 'authentic self' at work. Even if managers say they do they really dont.

This is not an issue unique to autistic people. You are not special or different in this regard.

Since Covid we have been able to choose where to sit at work. I sit as far away from everyone as possible and have one AirPod in at all times under my hair. I recommend Times Radio.

What employers mean when they say bring your authentic self to work is to be open about your sexuality , preferred gender, if you have piercing or tattoos, unconventional hair colours and cuts , culture and religion etc They don’t mean that people come in and say whatever is on their minds !

Well it is a stupid turn of phrase