Mother in law keeps calling me fat

Even if some cultures place a high value on maintaining a healthy weight, that doesn't give them the right to be rude and to fat-shame other people who they deem to be overweight.

OP's MIL sounds like a total bitch, irrespective of which culture she belongs to. She has started on her grand-daughter now who is at the age where her grandmother's horrible attitude towards weight could lead to her developing an eating disorder.

I'd be setting her straight.

But at 93kg you're a size small on top?

I'm a size small on top and I am 56kg

I think you have to adapt - so you might walk around with a coffee a few times in Japan but then stop doing it as it dawns on you that Japanese people generally find walking around with a coffee uncouth.
The point being that you do that ordinary thing without bad intent. Hopefully once brought to your attention you change your ways!

Could you afford to see a private lipedema expert?

Are you the MIL?

Tell her that each time she says this she is causing harm and is being hateful, damaging health,. Tell her to shut up, or go home.

To understand lipedema (shoild this be what the OP suffers from) you really do need to live it or live it via someone very close to you. It's not fat thatcan be lost through dieting or exercise

It could be lipoedema or lymphoedema. Either way there is a solution - liposuction or lymph drainage with an experienced physio.
Retired physio, I was specialised in this and it works.
Please update us.
And tell your MIL to pound sand - it[s a medical condition either way.

Absolutely this,nasty bitch

What to do about neighbour’s rotten apples? He doesn’t think it’s a problem but they stink at this time of year and I have read they attract rats. All on his side otherwise I would go and clean them all up.

For the people citing cultural differences, I would say this may be a legitimate point if OP was a guest in her MIL’s house. In that case, I’d suggest just leaving rather than calling her MIL out as a guest.

But its OP’s home and, even more importantly, her daughter’s. She should not have to tolerate being spoken to this way in her own home. Even if she didnt have a medical issue.

Incidentally, there are plenty of British people who would also see it as acceptable to comment on their young granddaughter’s weight under the guise of health concern. So it may well be part of the Asian culture - but it’s also present in Britain or at least was until quite recently. I wonder if this is the reason for the defence of the MIL.

Commenting on an impressionable pre-teen’s body is disgusting. OP, your MIL obviously feels comfortable handing out the shame & judgement - I’d hand her some back and make clear it wont be tolerated in your home.

People should not marry across cultures stupid people.

Sorry peons you're talking nonsense. Your examples of behaviour are nothing to do with culture and everything to do with being backward, uneducated idiots. My mum was rural Irish catholic and my father was English CofE, both families got on extremely well, no issues despite the very different culture and religion. Both of my brothers are married to European women and my ex's family are from the Caribbean - NONE of us have had any issues with our in-laws or culture clashes, we all get along and respect each other because we are family and we've all been educated and brought up correctly. Some people are just callous and don't know how to behave, it's the easiest thing to respect others and apologise if you get something wrong, and all cultures know how to do that.

Very rude. Tell your husband to deal with his mother or the visit ends.
Alternatively go and stay with your family until they leave. If husband wont back you then Id be having doubts about the marriage.

Literally tell her to fuck off every time she says it. She will be so offended she will leave. Also while she is there don't do anything for her - no cooking no washing no cups of tea etc. Tell your husband to get on board. And those offering 'advice' on losing weight leave her alone that's not what the post is about.

if I said the same things to my mother in law and sister in law my husband would kick me out himself because it wouldn’t be okay for me to do the same.

Is this the truth OP?

If so, how will you continue to deal with these comment from your MIL?

Will you DH really not set her straight regarding her unwanted comments?

'backward, uneducated idiots' - they are Heidelberg University tutors and the one who was saying Purcell is shite is a choir master.

So, you are defending someone's right to be rude and hurtful based on their cultural background?

It isn't cultural imperialism. This rudeness needs to be called out - every single time.

Tell her to bugger off home if she can’t keep a civil tongue in her head.

I don't think a person who.thinks her husband is going to kick her out will say " Fuck off' to her MIL.

Yes, uneducated. Where did they learn their manners?

"Talent may open doors, and education may take you far, but manners will determine how welcome you are when you arrive"

My fav quote from Bruce Lee:
"Knowledge may give you power, but character will gain respect"

We need to normalise telling rude people to shut the fuck up.

Even better, do it in front of your daughter so she knows you know this is outright mean bullshit and you won't tolerate it, about you or her.

With due respect, crying about it is never going to make it stop.

OP Ignore the batshit comments about cultural imperialism. If you have asked your directly MIL to not mention your weight and she continues to. You ask her to leave. If your husband doesn't back you up. You ask him to leave too.

You should not have to put up with this.

Some people dont view weight as a touchy or insulting subject, they just say it as it is as if pointing out a colour. Ive mostly seen this from the older generation. Can you tell your mil that you are sensitive abojt your weight and tell her not to mention it anymore? She might not be meaning to cause offense and unaware of how it makes you feel.