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Partner kicked off at birthday gift

208 replies

whatthehellyy · 19/09/2026 18:09

Last month it was my partner of 4 years birthday
we have a 1 year old son.

im cringing writing this by the way….
he hates birthdays & Xmas. He’s very awquard 🙄
I asked him so many times leading to his birthday what would you like?
I’ve bought him stuff every year he just doesn’t use it want so I said I prefer to get you something you truly want or need.
he made it clear he wasn’t interested didn’t want nothing but anything I did he was grateful for.
so I thought I’m not putting him through all gifts etc he hates it so I got him a £100 voucher for his fav clothes shop and we was going out for dinner that night (our treat) got him cards too and a little daddy gift from our son.

on the morning I gave it him with our son .. an hour later he was crying in the kitchen!!!!! I said what is wrong!??????? He said don’t matter. I said no tell me what is wrong!?
he said you don’t fkin love me you got me f*ck all you tight bitch !!!!!! And proceeded to cry!!!!!! Packed all his stuff and left after he majorly kicked off. (He has an empty house he owns that he was gonna rent out) he’s gone back there not been back since. No apology nothing. He still fetches our son.

im still gob smacked. Am I the one in the wrong????? Please be honest.
by the way he’s a grown 50 year old x

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 19/09/2026 19:00

The worrying thing is that you have to ask if it’s him or you. What a horrible horrible man. Whatever you do op, do not let him back in to your life ever. Your son deserves to not be around this awful man 24/7. Next time - if a 50 year old man asks a 30 year old woman for a date - he is NEVER going to be a good man.

Mumdiva99 · 19/09/2026 19:02

Anothercake · 19/09/2026 18:57

£100 is not token

I agree £100 is not a token.
He said he didn't want anything. She shouldn't have got the voucher- just a token gift from the son.

Howtorespond · 19/09/2026 19:07

whatthehellyy · 19/09/2026 18:09

Last month it was my partner of 4 years birthday
we have a 1 year old son.

im cringing writing this by the way….
he hates birthdays & Xmas. He’s very awquard 🙄
I asked him so many times leading to his birthday what would you like?
I’ve bought him stuff every year he just doesn’t use it want so I said I prefer to get you something you truly want or need.
he made it clear he wasn’t interested didn’t want nothing but anything I did he was grateful for.
so I thought I’m not putting him through all gifts etc he hates it so I got him a £100 voucher for his fav clothes shop and we was going out for dinner that night (our treat) got him cards too and a little daddy gift from our son.

on the morning I gave it him with our son .. an hour later he was crying in the kitchen!!!!! I said what is wrong!??????? He said don’t matter. I said no tell me what is wrong!?
he said you don’t fkin love me you got me f*ck all you tight bitch !!!!!! And proceeded to cry!!!!!! Packed all his stuff and left after he majorly kicked off. (He has an empty house he owns that he was gonna rent out) he’s gone back there not been back since. No apology nothing. He still fetches our son.

im still gob smacked. Am I the one in the wrong????? Please be honest.
by the way he’s a grown 50 year old x

He might be 50 but he’s not a ‘grown’ man by the sounds of it. Ingratitude is a vile characteristic. Feel for you x

Waytoohothot · 19/09/2026 19:10

Well i hope you leave him and dont take him back, why on earth would you think a man baby of 49 would want a baby, i can tell you whats wrong, you have a baby now and all your attention isnt on him, you are obviously younger than him so just move on, it will get worse

concertinacornflake · 19/09/2026 19:11

Harrriet · 19/09/2026 18:12

A deep dark background to his reaction, nothing you have done.

This.

TokyoSushi · 19/09/2026 19:12

Very weird behaviour, there’s definitely something else to it.

Sunbringer · 19/09/2026 19:16

Did he actually say he wouldn’t mind what you got him or is that something you’ve decided he meant by saying anything is fine?

He’s obviously being dramatic. But I’m trying to work out where the wires have crossed.

Is he very rich and that’s why he thinks £100 is cheap? Does he lavish you in jewels every year?

Honestly? I think he’s upset because he’s turned 50 and he suddenly feels old so he’s taking it out on you.

Ponoka7 · 19/09/2026 19:16

Did he want the baby, or to live together? How long has he been 'going to rent his house out' for?
I'll be honest, the men I know around this age, who get with younger women, just want the sex. They put up with her having a baby, to keep things going. Something about your arrangement no longer suits him, so he's flounced.

FlorianTV · 19/09/2026 19:18

I think it’s a lovely gift, perhaps he’s having an affair and crying about feeling guilty about it after opening your present. Then lied and said he had a problem with the gift and left.

I suspect if you drive past his house he’ll have company…

don’t apologise, or chase after him. Accept the break up and move on. Sounds like you’re co parenting ok?

shuggles · 19/09/2026 19:18

I think it's unreasonable for anyone over the age of 16 to actually care about what they receive for a birthday. £100 is a fairly substantial birthday present for a man in his 50s.

I suspect there is something else going on here, and it's not the gift he's upset about.

Boreded · 19/09/2026 19:19

Haha if only everyone could get rid of a dickhead with just a £100 investment. You got a bargain @whatthehellyy just don’t let him come back grovelling, once an asshole always an asshole.

BlueandtheGodofMischief · 19/09/2026 19:19

throwaway1234566 · 19/09/2026 18:12

How ridiculous for a grown man. I wonder if he was using this as an excuse to leave?

This...

ChristmasCwtch · 19/09/2026 19:19

He’s a dick! If he’d called me a “tight bitch”, I’d have packed his bags for him.

Move on. You really don’t want to be saddled to a moody old git!! He’s only going to get worse.

Yupstillhere · 19/09/2026 19:23

What a prick. Since when is one honest pounds nothing. That's a very generous gift. He's an idiot and immature.

Itsbeenalongtimeincoming · 19/09/2026 19:24

Yeah I hear what everyone is saying. I would just balance this with it started by her partner crying in the kitchen at the table on his birthday. So my initial sympathy goes there.

If this were reverse we would be sympathising with the OP.

You didn’t do anything wrong but I suspect there is a lot more to this story which either you haven’t told us or are will fully ignorant.

He had a ridiculous outburst and then the OP made it about her - crying. His reaction wasn’t normal or okay - so what’s the rest here?

Was it his 50th? In that case it was a bit crap and a voucher is a bit unthoughtful.

Justkeepchasingpigeonss · 19/09/2026 19:24

by the way he’s a grown 50 year old

Was it his 50th birthday? If so, perhaps he was hoping for more fuss / a surprise?

Ljzjta · 19/09/2026 19:24

Oh my, that’s awful! My partner is the same, never opens gifts, always so awkward. They can sit there for days before he’s even opened them. Last year I asked and asked and he said nothing blah blah so I did exactly that, I got him nothing - from me! He was also an idiot in his reaction. I got him small gifts from our children and that was it. I proceeded to remind that that he told me to get him nothing and I carried out his wishes. This year, he told me what he wanted, so he learnt his lesson!
I have no idea what lesson your partner is learning though, I would totally be over that. £100 plus dinner is generous and he’s a prick for thinking otherwise.

XMissPlacedX · 19/09/2026 19:26

Fluffyholeysocks · 19/09/2026 18:12

Did you get the voucher back?

lol

localnotail · 19/09/2026 19:26

whatthehellyy · 19/09/2026 18:22

I’m 34 yes xx

Why are you in a relationship with this old weird fucked up Drama Queen specimen?

O00ps · 19/09/2026 19:28

Was this his big 50 birthday?!
A voucher is a bit low effort if so

101Nutella · 19/09/2026 19:31

Is this the start of controlling abuse type behaviour where nothing is ever good enough or quite right.

its a thoughtful gift. As a parent I’d be happy with £100 to spend on myself and a nice meal! A bit of cake on the day and it’s perfect.

i wouldn’t stay with someone who made me feel anxious and just wasn’t straight forward. Just say what you mean!

Createausername1970 · 19/09/2026 19:37

Ridiculous behaviour.

I love my DH very much but I rarely spend £100 on him for birthdays or Christmas. He has a niche hobby that I can't buy for, and he doesn't wear aftershave or use products. I usually end up getting him his favourite sweets as something to unwrap. But I do buy him things throughout the year if he sees something he would actually like.

I agree with others, he has decided that full time fatherhood isn't for him and he was looking for a way out.

Skates · 19/09/2026 19:38

Are you serious. He’s a fucking moron. He was just looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship. Why the hell was you with such a person. My partner has learned that if I ask what they want for a gift they give me a few options or they get what I think. No complaints afterwards. If they say I don’t want anything then that’s exactly what they get

Ilovelifeverymuch · 19/09/2026 19:39

WTF??? He was crying over that?

If he wants something for his birthday then he communicates like an adult. He obviously has some serious trauma he needs to resolve and he should be taking it out on you. It's a shame you already have a child with this manchild.

He's 50? Yeah some serious deep seated trauma that he needs to grow up and with through. You're not his trauma punching bag.

mumandgran24 · 19/09/2026 19:43

The only one your age I know of who with a fifty odd year old worries constantly he will leave her and the kids as he had previously done to two partners/wives before him. Some men go from women to women leaving broken families behinds. This guy we know his older grown up kids can’t believe he just can’t stop doing this to his partners.

OP I would reflect on your relationship. Did you start off as an affair? Or had he left kids and previous wife or wives and spun a line about how they were horrible to him and with you he finally found true love etc etc.

good luck it sounds like he is just looking for an excuse to leave, would not be shocked if he is already sleeping with someone else. Sorry

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