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Partner kicked off at birthday gift

208 replies

whatthehellyy · 19/09/2026 18:09

Last month it was my partner of 4 years birthday
we have a 1 year old son.

im cringing writing this by the way….
he hates birthdays & Xmas. He’s very awquard 🙄
I asked him so many times leading to his birthday what would you like?
I’ve bought him stuff every year he just doesn’t use it want so I said I prefer to get you something you truly want or need.
he made it clear he wasn’t interested didn’t want nothing but anything I did he was grateful for.
so I thought I’m not putting him through all gifts etc he hates it so I got him a £100 voucher for his fav clothes shop and we was going out for dinner that night (our treat) got him cards too and a little daddy gift from our son.

on the morning I gave it him with our son .. an hour later he was crying in the kitchen!!!!! I said what is wrong!??????? He said don’t matter. I said no tell me what is wrong!?
he said you don’t fkin love me you got me f*ck all you tight bitch !!!!!! And proceeded to cry!!!!!! Packed all his stuff and left after he majorly kicked off. (He has an empty house he owns that he was gonna rent out) he’s gone back there not been back since. No apology nothing. He still fetches our son.

im still gob smacked. Am I the one in the wrong????? Please be honest.
by the way he’s a grown 50 year old x

OP posts:
throwaway1234566 · 19/09/2026 18:12

How ridiculous for a grown man. I wonder if he was using this as an excuse to leave?

Harrriet · 19/09/2026 18:12

A deep dark background to his reaction, nothing you have done.

Fluffyholeysocks · 19/09/2026 18:12

Did you get the voucher back?

whatthehellyy · 19/09/2026 18:13

No I didn’t get it back 😂

OP posts:
Chunkybabythighs · 19/09/2026 18:14

He wanted to dump you so came up with a bullshit reason

BriarTime · 19/09/2026 18:15

throwaway1234566 · 19/09/2026 18:12

How ridiculous for a grown man. I wonder if he was using this as an excuse to leave?

Exactly what I thought. Let it be, OP. When the rubbish takes itself out it’s just saving you the bother.

DangerousLesions · 19/09/2026 18:15

Well does he want a present or not? You make it clear he has no interest in them so why's he kicking off? DH isn't interested in presents and neither am I so we don't get each other anything, just soppy cards. The kicking off bit is worrying. Is there something else going on?

Trallala · 19/09/2026 18:15

He sounds like very hard work - you can't do right for doing wrong, can you? Says he doesn't want anything specific then has a massive tantrum when you've got him gifts. Is he always like this, or has this come out of the blue?

I'm sorry, OP, but he sounds dreadful, and you don't deserve this at all.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 19/09/2026 18:16

Underlying reason...

NoodleHorses · 19/09/2026 18:17

£100 is not nothing.
Sounds like the trash took itself out. You might have had a lucky escape.

Cardhey · 19/09/2026 18:19

Let him stay there and don’t have him back. Nasty moron.

ZanyMaker · 19/09/2026 18:20

Obviously his reaction isn’t ok, but the fact he was crying seems odd to me. Did his tears appear genuine? If so, could he be depressed and this outburst be a symptom of that?

I’m not trying to be obtuse and defend him, but crying isn’t a normal reaction form the men I know!

ToadRage · 19/09/2026 18:20

My husband would be thrilled with a gift like that. He doesn't buy clothes a lot and £100 would get him some really nice stuff. It's a lot more than i would be able to spend on a gift and i think your partner was rude and ungrateful. Do you really want the hassle if a man who behaves like a spoilt child when you tried to do something so nice for him?

rubyslippers · 19/09/2026 18:20

Are you quite a bit younger than him?
he’s a massive, huge, ridiculous arse
he called you a tight bitch - the mother of his child
sounds like you’re well rid
make sure he pays maintenance for your child

rubyslippers · 19/09/2026 18:21

ZanyMaker · 19/09/2026 18:20

Obviously his reaction isn’t ok, but the fact he was crying seems odd to me. Did his tears appear genuine? If so, could he be depressed and this outburst be a symptom of that?

I’m not trying to be obtuse and defend him, but crying isn’t a normal reaction form the men I know!

He’s not depressed
he called her a tight bitch and packed his stuff
my diagnosis is arsehole

whatthehellyy · 19/09/2026 18:22

I’m 34 yes xx

OP posts:
Springbuck · 19/09/2026 18:23

My dh also hates getting presents and will never give any ideas. I’m fine with that but he doesn’t understand that our children want to buy him a gift. They love seeing people open the presents they have chosen.
However, he would never, ever behave like your dh. I think I would be changing the locks before he comes back op.

AgnesX · 19/09/2026 18:23

Crying and then took the huff because you hadn't jumped through hoops for him? Complete halfwit.

Really, you did your best when he gave you no help whatsoever. His reaction was completely ridiculous, a childish stamping of the foot. As someone else said it's like was looking for an excuse.

If he doesn't already have form for this kind of behaviour he will have in the future - every time something doesn't suit him.

CarbonAtom · 19/09/2026 18:24

Agree with other posters 100%. Bullet dodged.
You don't sound too fussed though OP so maybe for the best!

bigboykitty · 19/09/2026 18:24

Do not waste any more of your time and energy on the ridiculous abusive man. He will only get worse and I'm sure this isn't the first time.

AbzMoz · 19/09/2026 18:25

How did he kick off? Further shouting and stropping? (Are you safe?)
And how / why has he fetched your son?

This really sounds like a worrying and extreme reaction.

TurkishShepherd · 19/09/2026 18:28

Don't even entertain this ridiculousness.

Something else is going on around birthdays past or he's using it as an excuse to leave but emotionally continent adults don't act like this.

Do not apologise & do not chase. Your present was actually quite thoughtful and generous.

StarPyjamas · 19/09/2026 18:29

Oh dear

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 19/09/2026 18:30

He is either:

a) looking for an excuse to leave and hates you

b) a horrible abuser

Either way it’s over and if you carry on with him you’re a fool. Your son needs a better role model.

SeptemberRains · 19/09/2026 18:34

@CarbonAtom
The op hasn’t dodged a bullet.
They have a child together.