Partner kicked off at birthday gift

no one ends a relationship because they only got a £100 present and dinner. there's something else going on, or someone.

how is he treating you when he collects his son? is he paying maintenance? "new" gf?

That is a generous gift.

Even if you had given him a modest gift, his reaction is completely unacceptable.

Focus on you and your child.

you are better off with that person not in your life. He’s a similar age to me ,us 50 plus year olds don’t normally behave like that!

also for clarity that sounded like a super gift. This year I got nothing for my birthday not even a card from my DP as everyone was poorly in our house so I didn’t stomp around like that and just leave. I got myself some nice bits of food in and took myself off to the shops.

I can't be doing with people like this who say they don't want/ need anything and then react like that. Your gift was more than enough, his reaction is ridiculous. Out of interest, what sort of things have you bought him in the past, have you typically spent more? Not that it should matter, but if his reaction is out of character it suggests the gift voucher isn't the real issue here.

I would have lol

He expects you to really make a huge effort that he can then put down to keep you on the back foot in your relationship. He also expects you to be a mind reader and he's verbally abusive calling you a tight bitch, look at his tantrum when you took him at his word. What an immature asshole.

Let him fuck off. This one's not a keeper, sorry. Set up child maintenance and a custody schedule through the courts.

Did he actually see the voucher? Did it drop out off the card or something so he thought you hadn't got him anything? Not that he should be behaving like that even if you hadn't.

If my DD’s partner called them a bitch I would tell them to end the relationship. This man has no respect for you and is acting in an unhinged way. You would be mad to rekindle the relationship. This is a red flag.

This

I'm guessing that you are a fair bit younger than him Op? You've dodged a bullet as you won't need to look after him as he gets older.

He’s very awquard

He certainly is, and a dickhead to boot.

@Motnight
They have a 1 year old together.

Why did he expect more than £100 on gifts - is there more to the comment about being 'tight' with money? It does sound like he was just looking for a reason to go out alone.

He's playing games with you - he wants you grovelling to him to win back his approval.

Do not contact him.

If he contacts you, tell him to fuck the fuck off.

If he needs to contact you about your son, he can do it via a solicitor.

I don't understand the "tight" comment (regardless of the rude delivery) unless he typically spends considerably more than the cost of the voucher + dad gift + dinner for you on your birthday. Otherwise it seems like he's set up a test to see if you can read his mind, and you've failed it - but he also gave you misleading clues ("happy with any effort", "don't want anything").

If this happened last month, he's been away for 3+ weeks with no explanation, apology, or plan for the future? I'd focus on getting the situation normalised for your child - you can get a CMS arrangement in place even without divorcing if you maintain separate households and since he sounds unstable a formal arrangement is probably best - and then doing what you need to do to move on.

RE whether you're "in the wrong" - of course not, based on what you have said here. You could legitimately have done anything or nothing for his birthday, and regardless of what you did his reaction is completely out of proportion with the situation and incredibly irresponsible (how can he just walk out of the house with no discussion or arrangement when he's responsible for a young child who lives there?)

What did he get you for your birthday? I’m betting nothing or some crappy thoughtless gift.

Has there been any history of similar behaviour? It is very strange behaviour.
Am sorry OP, you must be in a bit of shock right now. Whatever happens, hope you'll be ok.

There's a reason why this manchild loser was single at 46yrs old when you met him.

This is it - no woman would put up with his dickhead, manipulative behaviour.

You're well rid. Get CMS and a formalised custody/access arrangements made asap.

Whatever you do, do NOT take him back, otherwise, you'll waste your best years being subjected to his pathetic games.

Does he own/part own the house you are living in @whatthehellyy or is it fully yours? Is the one year old his only child?

He has ended the relationship with you for whatever reason, put in a claim for cms and move on with your life.

Fuck me. If you'd shat in his coffee mug I'd understand his reaction, but he is clinically insane.

I'm with all those calling him an arse. Sorry. He set you a made up test which you failed.
(How this should go is: him 'I don't want anything for my birthday' you 'here is a token gift from your son' him ' thank you very much. What time are we going out for dinner.' )

£100 is not token

it's so bizarre it can only be this!

As someone who has complicated feelings around birthdays.
he’s an ungrateful, rude twat and your better off without him. If he gave you no ideas what the fuck did he want???!
has been bothered with your child since?

im with the others he wanted an excuse, even having the house still and not renting it out yet

wow why are you with this weirdo?