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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think not every school issue should be labelled SEN?

205 replies

Emily3325 · 14/09/2026 16:38

I feel like lately absolutely everything that happens in schools is being viewed through the lens of SEN. For context I’ve worked in education for over a decade across settings and provisions.

A child is naughty in class - SEN.
A child cries at playtime - SEN.

A child struggles with something, immediately we’re looking at what additional provision they might need.
And don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that some children genuinely have additional needs and absolutely need support and reasonable adjustments. That’s not what I’m arguing against.
What I’m finding frustrating is that it feels like we’re getting to the point where normal childhood behaviour is being treated as evidence that something must be wrong.
The recent DfE announcement about changes to school food standards is a good example. Almost immediately, the discussion seems to become “but what about SEN children who won’t eat those foods?”
Obviously there are children with genuine sensory or medical needs who will need individual arrangements. But surely we can have healthier expectations for children generally while making appropriate exceptions for those who genuinely need them?
And I think it’s actually becoming a problem for everyone.
My partner teaches a class of 30. There is one child who is constantly extremely disruptive — we’re talking about repeatedly slamming doors hard enough to crack the glass in the door.
The parents believe he has ADHD, but he doesn’t have a diagnosis. The school has tried to work with them and has discussed whether the child could access the school’s resource hub, but the parents feel that doing so would be discriminatory. They also don’t want to pursue a diagnosis or come into school to work with the school on a plan.
I’m not saying the child doesn’t have additional needs. He might. I don’t know.
But while everyone is arguing about whether he has SEN, 29 other children are having their lessons repeatedly disrupted.
And that’s not fair on them either.
It’s not fair on the teacher.
And actually, it’s not fair on the child himself, because he’s clearly struggling and isn’t getting an effective solution either.
That’s what I find so frustrating. Everyone loses.
The children who don’t have SEN lose learning time.
Children who genuinely do have SEN can struggle to get the specialist support they need because resources are stretched.
Teachers are expected to somehow manage increasingly complex needs in mainstream classrooms.
And children who are struggling can end up stuck without appropriate support because nobody seems willing to make a decision until there’s a diagnosis.
I also think we’ve got to be careful about lowering expectations in the name of inclusion.
Sometimes a child is genuinely unable to do something because of a disability and absolutely needs an adjustment.
But sometimes a child is just upset.
Sometimes they’re being naughty.
Sometimes they don’t like the school dinner.
Sometimes they have to learn that they can’t always get their own way.
Not every difficult moment needs an SEN explanation.
And I honestly think we’ve reached a point where we’re doing all children a disservice by treating everything this way.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 16:21

BertieBotts · 15/09/2026 16:15

If half the class need a sensory circuit, genuine question, could that not just become a standard thing everyone does? Like PE, art, music etc are part of the curriculum, breaktimes are offered to everyone, we recognise those things have benefits. Why not sensory circuits too? It would probably benefit the children who don't "need" it too.

If it's not feasible in the current system then potentially it's an idea to look at for the future. Whether it can be worked into lessons or the school day looks completely different allowing more time for things like this. Why not be radical and think about big solutions?

Because we don't have the space or the staff, in my school it isn't even a time issue its purely space and staffing. In order to be effective it has to be the same routine daily and it isn't do-able

OP posts:
PensionPTake · 15/09/2026 16:32

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/09/2026 15:42

You have misread it. Every class is around a third SEN. It's wild.

Where are you? Government stats for England in 2026 say 14.8% of CYP are on send support and 6% have an EHCP, so 20.8%.

Overall the amount of send children hasn't actually risen that much over the years and are still lower now than in 2010

AIBU to think not every school issue should be labelled SEN?
Bushmillsbabe · 15/09/2026 16:36

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 14:59

We ask parents if something is going on/ do they need support/ are they seeing anything at home but I’ve had parents tell me their child has come home saying “X has this”. Of course there are cases where parents describe similar things as you have mentioned but then there are cases like I mentioned where there is no reason. A y6 colleague once had to ban fidget toys for all children other than those where parents had spoken to school/ EHCP/ etc

The problem with this is confirmation bias. We didn't initially tell the school our concerns, as time and time again I have seen a parent raise a concern, and school just agree with them. We wanted to see if they were seeing the same things we were without being prompted, as we were uncertain if there was ADHD, or just that she was the youngest in the year and needed time to mature, or as a health professional I was over medicalising a normal variant. An ND diagnosis needs to be pervasive - in that it's showing up in multiple environments, we were waiting to see if school flagged concerns to us.

I have never known a child be referred for an ADHD/ASD assessment and it not come back as a yes - so we knew if we went down the referral route it was 99% likely she would get a diagnosis, so we wanted to be really sure before we started down that path.

angelos02 · 15/09/2026 16:45

Divinedownload · 15/09/2026 15:40

Oh you’re not wrong. Everything and I mean everything is pathologised these days. I work in schools too and I’m sick of all the do gooders and “every behaviour is communication”.

I DREAD to think the diagnosis’ I would have landed myself as an adolescent at school. Constantly wagged it in the toilets, went to lessons when I saw fit, ran out the gates, verbally abusive to staff…. The list is quite frankly endless. Did I get GCSEs? No, did I then sort my life out with an OU degree once life humbled me? Yes. Did I struggle academically? Absolutely not. There was no reason for my lack of engagement other than the fact I just couldn’t be arsed at the time.

I am by the way a successful, 38 year old women who has morals, a conscience and a desire to make the world a better place. I misbehaved at school because I wanted too, and because I had no consequences at home. My parents loved me fiercely, I had a nice home. I did as I pleased and that was a choice. I did not have needs or barriers. I was just….a mouthy, slightly unpleasant teenage girl.

Dread to think of the label I would have got tbh. Possibly something like ADHD, or pathological demand avoidance.

Edited

Oh my God. This. I was a chatterbox at school, had obsessional behaviour, bored very easily, moved from friendship group to another one. Turned out OK. Nowadays I would probably have been labelled something or another. So glad I wasn't. If a high percentage of people are being labelled as different, then they aren't. Get some resilience. Life is tough. You're going to have tough times. You can't just bail out of life and let the resilient people to pick up the pieces.

angelos02 · 15/09/2026 16:47

The first port of call shouldn't be 'there's something wrong with my child'.

TonyDancer · 15/09/2026 16:56

Someone I knew quite well was experiencing terrible behaviour from one of her daughters. Think the kid must have been about 9 or 10. All she did was shout and scream at her and she was also a selfish individual who, whilst she loved her kids put herself first and foremost in their lives together. Anyway the disruptive kid was assessed and finally given a label. She posted online “Get in!!!” ie she was thrilled to bits to be absolved of any blame in any way for her daughter’s behaviour which meant she could go back to scrolling on Tinder and shouting.

TonyDancer · 15/09/2026 16:57

Ps. If they’re all SEN then no one is SEN

angelos02 · 15/09/2026 17:02

I wonder if it wasn't monetised things would be different. Seems as though parents want their children in mainstream schools but with extra money rather than the children being in special schools as it used to be. Extra money but without the stigma.

Kirbert2 · 15/09/2026 17:08

angelos02 · 15/09/2026 17:02

I wonder if it wasn't monetised things would be different. Seems as though parents want their children in mainstream schools but with extra money rather than the children being in special schools as it used to be. Extra money but without the stigma.

It can take a SEND child years to get a place in a special school even if that is what the parents desperately want.

More SEND children are simply expected to manage in mainstream now even if it clearly isn't the right setting for them and even if that isn't what the parents want.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 15/09/2026 17:33

@angelos02 The first port of call by posters on mn is to diagnose that a dc with certain behaviour must have sen. You don’t have to wait long before the advice is “get a diagnosis”. It’s embedded in parental society.

There never was enough space in special schools for the dc that needed them and this was worsened when special schools were closed in the 1980s following the Warnock Report and the 1981 Education Act. The Report wanted far more dc educated in mainstream schools and that they should have help to be there. This meant large numbers of dc went to local schools and it obviously went too far and units and special staff soon had to be established to help mainstream schools cope. I described what was available in an earlier post.

There was a large group of parents who didn’t want special schools and schools were struggling to cope 40 years ago. The rhetoric was clearly about educating in mainstream and special schools were the last thing some parents wanted. We had to “sell” the much better staffing ratios and specialist staff to parents who wanted a sweet little village school that was overwhelmed with sen dc.

Now, parents realise this ethos hasn’t worked for the sen child or the school community. There are far more dc with poor behaviour. Many academics have had thoughts as to why. The trusts almost certainly need far more units in mainstream schools or new special schools but both cost a lot of money.

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 17:44

There hasn’t been such a big increase in the rate of SEN as some would like people to believe. The most recent statistics released this year show 20.8% of pupils have SEN. These statistics are based on census data schools submit. In 2010, it was 20.9% or 21.1% (depending on which statistics you look at - I think it is a rounding issue adding up SA, SA+ and SSEN). In 2005, it was 18%. Going back several decades to the Warnock report in 1978, “some 20% appeared to need some form of special educational help. This may even be an underestimate…”

We hardly saw a private Ed psych report and when we did they were not very accurate. Now it’s a huge industry and they find something SEN about every child they see.

This might be your limited experience, but it is not the national picture. Independent EP assessments have existed for a very long time. Well before EHCPs existed. They weren’t rare. For example, it was very common for parents appealing SSSENs to seek independent assessments. And they weren’t ‘not very accurate’. The courts don’t/didn’t believe that. Independent EPs don’t report on finding that aren’t there just because a parent is commissioning their services. They wouldn’t risk their reputation with SENDIST. Nor their registration. If you think any have acted unprofessionally, have you reported them to the HCPC?

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 15/09/2026 18:00

@roaringdragon Yes. The Warnock report did say 20% but it was qualified “at some time in their educational career”. That’s entirely different from 20% from age 3 to 18. Once a dc is labelled the label never leaves them. The Warnock report didn’t envisage that.

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 18:14

Once a dc is labelled the label never leaves them.

That isn’t true. A child can be removed from the SEN register.

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:17

TonyDancer · 15/09/2026 16:56

Someone I knew quite well was experiencing terrible behaviour from one of her daughters. Think the kid must have been about 9 or 10. All she did was shout and scream at her and she was also a selfish individual who, whilst she loved her kids put herself first and foremost in their lives together. Anyway the disruptive kid was assessed and finally given a label. She posted online “Get in!!!” ie she was thrilled to bits to be absolved of any blame in any way for her daughter’s behaviour which meant she could go back to scrolling on Tinder and shouting.

But this would not have been the basis of the diagnosis. They would have been assessed by a professional. The mum could also be utterly shit. Both things can be true.

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:19

Chanberry · 15/09/2026 16:17

The world has changed and continues to change. It's not just children who are less able to cope; it's adults, too. More people, especially women, on antidepressants than ever. The UK is getting much busier, noisier and more overstimulating. Autistic people who could've muddled through in the past are now finding that they are in crisis and seek help.

I think this is very true.

Academic demands are also much much higher in school, from a very early age. School stops being any fun at all by Y4. Some kids can’t handle this without SEN.

my y5 child is doing maths that was on my gcse paper (the early easier pages, but still….)

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:20

PensionPTake · 15/09/2026 16:32

Where are you? Government stats for England in 2026 say 14.8% of CYP are on send support and 6% have an EHCP, so 20.8%.

Overall the amount of send children hasn't actually risen that much over the years and are still lower now than in 2010

Thank you for this reality check

Kirbert2 · 15/09/2026 18:23

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:19

I think this is very true.

Academic demands are also much much higher in school, from a very early age. School stops being any fun at all by Y4. Some kids can’t handle this without SEN.

my y5 child is doing maths that was on my gcse paper (the early easier pages, but still….)

Mine is in Year 6 and it is just SATs, SATs, SATs. He's had enough already.

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 18:24

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 18:14

Once a dc is labelled the label never leaves them.

That isn’t true. A child can be removed from the SEN register.

Never in mine or my partners career (combined 20+ years) have either of us seen this

OP posts:
roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 18:25

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 18:24

Never in mine or my partners career (combined 20+ years) have either of us seen this

That doesn’t mean it can’t and doesn’t happen. It can and it does.

It isn’t rare. It is common enough that IPSEA has a page about DC being removed from the SEN register.

YesIKnowThatThankyou · 15/09/2026 18:46

Join a union.
Don’t lie in forms (it’s bullying to ask you to do so)
Don’t sit with the kid at lunch (quote directed time and staff H&S laws)
The entitled attitude of parents has to stop it’s a disgrace.
Teacher with 20+ years experience (still employed).

JLou08 · 15/09/2026 19:01

SEN isn't a diagnosis, it's just an abbreviation for special educational needs, the D sometimes used is for those who have a diagnosed disability. If a child is disrupting every lesson then it seems pretty obvious to me they have special educational needs, otherwise they would be able to access the curriculum without additional support. It doesn't matter what causes those needs, well it does in a way, but the cause of them doesn't mean the child is more or less worthy of support.

JLou08 · 15/09/2026 19:11

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 18:24

Never in mine or my partners career (combined 20+ years) have either of us seen this

One of my brothers was. He's autistic and also had some serious health problems as a baby requiring surgery. He was significantly delayed for the first few years in primary school and had a statement but once he caught up with speech and language he quickly caught up with everything else. He really excelled once he got to secondary school.

menopausalfart · 15/09/2026 19:20

There may well be a lot of instances where it seems everything is seen as special needs but that doesn't mean the child will be diagnosed. It takes a lot of evidence for a person to get an official diagnosis.

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 19:25

JLou08 · 15/09/2026 19:01

SEN isn't a diagnosis, it's just an abbreviation for special educational needs, the D sometimes used is for those who have a diagnosed disability. If a child is disrupting every lesson then it seems pretty obvious to me they have special educational needs, otherwise they would be able to access the curriculum without additional support. It doesn't matter what causes those needs, well it does in a way, but the cause of them doesn't mean the child is more or less worthy of support.

I disagree, sometimes yes there’s undiagnosed needs. Other times a child just genuinely enjoys being disruptive

OP posts:
goldenpanda · 15/09/2026 19:40

ArseSkinForAFriend · 14/09/2026 21:20

Completely missing the point but how does toughened safety glass break because the door was slammed?

No idea but I’ve seen this done and the glass of the door shattered. Impressive strength slamming it.

I don’t understand it, but I know for a fact it happened because I saw it with my own eyes.