AIBU to think of course all the anti-trans posts on this website and others are leading to real life harm?

Cos someone on the internet told them it was MN and that JKR is transphobic.

Yet not one of them has gone outside to check if it's actually raining or not. They just believed it was pissing it down because it said so on the internet.

Honestly, it's a total herd mentality based on unthinking idiocy because they think they are so desperate to fit in with their in crowd.

It's so utterly depressing.

And they WILL mostly grow out of it.

There is no 'anti-trans' side...

• technically it is not possible to change sex / therefore it is not possible to transition / therefore it is not possible to be trans. So, it is not possible to be 'anti-trans'
• So, perhaps we need to clarify the language - those with gender dysphoria / those with mental health illnesses / those with sexual deviances - etc.
• Perhaps better to categorise the discussions as revealing the truth / realist discussions / science based discussions etc.
• the discussions on these forums are not 'anti-trans' in fact you will find a lot of compassion for the place that someone must be in to want to mutilate their body or take hormones etc. - that someone gets to the point of such a dissonance between their sexual reality and how their mind sees them is terrible, and most folks on here would love to see care, compassion and treatment being made available to those whose lives are turned upside down by their gender dysphoria - esp. children and young adults / teens.
• However, there is also a blunt realism - that such solutions never need to include men in women's spaces / women in men's spaces. It is not a part of the solution for those people who struggle with their identity and it creates huge numbers of issues for others...

And I am not sure why it is curious that men (me included) post regularly on this topic - it is a topic that should be of concern to all in our society - that a small loud subsection of mainly male society in shouting that they are allowed access where-ever they want are then allowed to intimidate and wreck lives for women and girls across our society - it should be of concern to all, and in fact men especially should be standing up and saying, no, this is not an accurate male view - we respect women in a equal manner and totally agree that their spaces should remain men-free. In fact as men we should be ashamed of the small sub-set of our sex who are creating such huge issues.

And mumsnet themselves have stated that mumsnet is not just for mums - it is for men and women / parents and not parents / etc. I have been posting on this site since way back in the day when there was a big technical attack and data breach on the site which led to names and email addresses being posted - and I helped the techies with sorting it out (my work area).

I am probably quite down the 'feminist' line for a man - but it comes from a perspective of equality for all and the observation that at this point in time that means restoring justice for women who are oppressed in so many ways...

that doesn't make me a feminist per se as I think you have to be a woman to be that - but views can be aligned across the sexes.

As for FWR - women's rights are a matter that should concern everyone - so I will continue to post, as having a man with the same views stops the 'trans' argument that these views are simply selfish women not wanting to share - by posting as a man it kills that argument dead - it allows me to squash the 'trans' argument that 'trans women' can't use the gents' loos - nonsense, no issue at all - all men are welcome in men's spaces - and several other arguments inaccurately put forward by men which can be killed stone dead by a man saying, no, that is not how it is.

I stay out of some discussions (such as the blue stocking pub - though I do occasionally pop in to view Boiled Beetle's illustrations which are superb!) but when it comes to stating facts such as born a man always a man - then I think there is a value in men stating that as well...

Seconded!

If anyone thinks I'm far right just because I'm GC, well they can crack on. It's basically used as an insult here rather than a factual description.

and yet the irony is that

• there is no evidence to show that 'trans women' (men) are at risk in the Gents
• there is plenty of evidence to show that women / girls are at risk when men enter female spaces (loos / changing rooms / hospital wards / prisons / etc.)

is it possible that the claims made by 'trans women' around not being safe in the gents is made up purely to validate their desire to be in women's spaces? 🤔

The OP perhaps?

You didn't reply to me with respect.

So respectfully, I think you are either not being honest with us, or not being honest with yourself.

I think the argument that people make for trans rights is that trans women are women, so what are you complaining about? it is single sex "Because they're a woman"

Personally, I disagree and think you're right.

You can’t tell by looking at a person. Transphobia means that all women get judged on what we look like and suspected of being secret males if we don’t conform to beauty standards

Of course you can tell. It's not about beauty.

I don’t get the “you can’t tell, and non feminine looking women are getting harassed”.

The time before this trans nonsense took over is in living memory - my mum’s butch lesbian friend took me to the toilets as a child in the 80’s and nobody thought she was a man despite the fact she had short hair and wore “men’s” clothes.

But I’ll bite - if masculine women ARE being challenged in toilets, then the ones to blame aren’t the women who have been gaslit for the last decade, whve had their spaces invaded by predatory men with the expectation of accepting this and are off guard and rightly suspicious. It’s the men who, with no lawful or moral right, spent all that time barging into women’s spaces, and are it only not sorry about it but have professed to continue doing it

If you are campaigning to check the Equality Act to allow males into female facilities you are campaigning to remove the existing rights of women.

As it says here, there is no where else for the argument to go.

I have never seen anyone, not a single one, here or elsewhere, claiming all transmen (or even any transmen) are dangerous perverts. Mr Menno once voiced the opinion that it is intrusive and inappropriate when gay men's spaces and events are used by young women identifying as transgender, but I have never read a suggestion that they are dangerous.

There is undoubtedly a culture, represented by you, @helpfulucy among others, of ignoring women.

Completely different, a 40 year old woman dressing like she did in her 20s isn't demanding access to women's spaces, isn't calling all those who dont want her in a female sports team transphobic ... your points are pointless, suffregettes fought for that 40vyear old woman despite her fashion sense the right to vote, trans women demanding equality with women are rubbish suffragettes and are pouring scorn over Gloria steinmens legacy, im choosing her as she sadly passed away last week, thank you Gloria x

And how many women's lives have been lost in your ED in the same period, due to violence from men, @Bones101?

A man, who identifies as a woman and who used to be on Mumsnet regularly telling women what to do, and campaigns for “trans rights” on other platforms said he’d like JKR to be raped with a splintery rolling pin, @helpfulucy- what are your thoughts on that?

Because by doing this and by saying a third space might be a solution, you are saying that trans women are not actually women. This is why some trans people say it is denying their existence. They don't want a compromise that acknowledges that they are different to biological women.

To be fair, not having a loo or a changing room to go to is a problem. I do sympathise with that. But dramatic language such as 'literal genocide' and 'far right' labels plus an unwillingness to compromise tends to alienate people and has probably harmed the cause.

Yes, exactly. At heart, women are not supposed to acknowledge that ”trans women” are men.

That argument is completely baseless though because no humans can change sex.

Trams women are certainly not women in terms of their sex.

Given how easy that is to dismantle, why does anyone think men should have the right to be in women’s spaces?

Every suicide is tragic.

https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/dispelling-the-suicide-myth/

www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-suicides-and-gender-dysphoria-at-the-tavistock-and-portman-nhs-foundation-trust/review-of-suicides-and-gender-dysphoria-at-the-tavistock-and-portman-nhs-foundation-trust-independent-report

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/feb/15/number-uk-women-suicide-domestic-abuse-under-reported-say-experts

And if you claim that women's and girls' rights, safety and dignity are 'anti trans' then clearly trans rights must be anti women.

In a nutshell.

The fear of being attacked by men is one of the reasons transwomen don't feel safe using the Gents.

But women should not fear a man because he wears a dress?

Also why are men not angry about this? I have heard do many, "They can't go in the gents because they will get raped".

So your ordinary average man using the gents suddenly turns in to a violent rapist. I do not believe that.

I agree, @MiggyWoods. And the hypocrisy is stunning - trans women (men) say they are scared to use the Gents loos, and people fall over themselves to be kind and understanding, and to offer them the sanctuary of the Ladies loos - but women who are scared of male individuals coming into our loos are told we are being ridiculous and there's nothing to be scared of.

Ultimately transwomen are not actually women.

Everything rests on trying to manipulate people into playing along with a lie.

Women who push back on this are called all kinds of names and told that their concerns make them bigots.

How is that anything other than bullying and manipulation?

Some of us are cross that this is being said but not enough…

for most men all of this is an issue playing out in the women’s spaces and of no relevance to them