Should I tell my daughter she's got post?

Why does she dislike you so much?

She sounds bad mannered.

So don’t be a doormat and give her the post, let her use her own initiative.

😂😂😂

But you’ve allowed her to be like this.
Tell her you expect her to engage and contribute to family life or to bugger off.

I take it she’ll leave the dishes for you to clear up when she’s eaten at her convenient times, (not your mealtimes) If so in future, there’ll be no food left after you’ve eaten and cleared away. Tough love.

Is there a father around or is she just used to walking all over mum.

Put them in her room; on her bed

It‘d be interesting to hear the DDs version

Maybe I cook and wash up for my children as a daily act of love, and I don't need them to kiss the ring to feed my ego.

My mother would open my mail and read it and I’d get given the 3rd degree. At 19yo I had a miscarriage and never told anyone, I ended up seeing a counsellor, my parents found out by my mother opening my mail, they actually turned up at counselling demanding to know what was going on. So yes it’s a good sign that your DD feels it’s ok to have her mail sitting around trusting no one would ever open her private correspondence.

Why are you putting up with her rudeness?Stop doing everything for her. Turn off the WiFi. Stop paying for her phone, if you do, and sit her down and tell her the facts about how people live together. Give her a deadline by which she has to pull her socks up or tell her she can move out and not come back.
My two young adult DCs drive me nuts at times but they’re polite, do their own washing, will offer to cook a meal, eat with us if home and will empty the dishwasher/put out the rubbish etc without prompting. They spend a lot of time in their rooms when they’re not at work but regularly express their gratitude for various things.

Put the post on her bed.

When she is in her room, go and talk to her. Say that you were happy to see her come home, but that she needs to engage a bit more in household stuff when she is home. Stuff like helping out by making dinner etc, cleaning communal areas of the house (assuming that your other kids have to do it as well), and spending some time with family - you could just do one evening a week as a family movie/games/ socialising night, which isn't much to ask.

If she thinks that that is unreasonable, then perhaps suggest that next summer that she makes alternative arrangements for where to stay, as you are not her household staff.

Just tell her she has post. Why would you not. If that's the way she's always been then you should be used to it. If they are important letters then it's best she opens them than miss something. I really don't understand why you're being so childish & not telling her.