AIBU to really dislike DH after our holiday?

i was brought up by a father like that, holidays were usually awful and i hated them. I have a vivid memory of him flinging us all out of the car and screaming at us and me and my sister runnning down the street in a strange town and sitting crying on a doorstep. Lots of other stuff went on that is too grim to mention and would hijack this thread went on, sufffice to say we grew up damaged. When I read things that the OP has mentioned i just think "get out now" it won't improve and the toll it takes especially on children can be incalcuable. When i was young women couldn't/didn't leave and although it isn't easy now it can be done. Wishing you and your daughters peace and better times

Will you stop telling everyone they are 'ridiculous' And you have absolutely no right to state "it is in no way abusive behaviour." In "no way"?

If people are walking on eggshells around you because they're afraid that if they challenge you, you will kick off and behave aggressively, then yes, you are an abuser.

This. If he won't seek help / a diagnosis/ counselling, then it is his fault that the relationship has broken down. You and you children gave him a second chance - and he has done nothing to help with that or try to make it work.

No it isn’t. He told his son repeatedly he couldn’t have sweets and snapped at a cashier when she interrupted during an escalation of child challenging behaviour. Not great but not abuse. He informed the same child he couldn’t snatch things out of people’s hands and could get beaten up if he did that in a pub which he could. After miscommunication re an exact meeting place and waiting in an airport he went to a gate saying the others would need to sort themselves out.

None of that is abuse.

This poster obviously can't identify abusive behaviour, and given their aggressive, minatory, dismissive approach on this thread, it wouldn't surprise me that they themselves are abusive in their own relationships. We here have the good fortune of being able to ignore this person, unlike the poor people who have to share physical space with them.

Prove positive that you have never lived with an emotionally abusive person. Aren't you lucky. Go and psychologically assess yourself.

Yes. I lived it; and it escalated to worse. Hence divorce.

I don't know why you want to dismiss learning on this issue and the first hand accounts of people on the thread to defend the husband of a stranger on the Internet. Perhaps you have just dug a hole for yourself now and feel compelled to defend your silly comment.
Either way, it's not helpful to the OP so we'll leave it there. It's up to OP which comments resonate.

Wow. He sounds a right twat. How embarrassing for you all

All your posts have been giving huge leeway to the husband (he was stressed etc - what about other people's stress?) while demanding to know what OP was doing in all this and why she hadn't fixed it. Exactly the opposite of balanced! Your posts are the ridiculous ones.

Nope. First hand accounts do not in anyway give anybody the right or ability to do a very presumptuous psychological analysis of a child they’ve never met.

Just hysterical! Yet more hugely inaccurate armchair analysis.

Let's ignore the disruption and focus on helping OP.

OP, what are your thoughts?

Omg way to prove her point by calling a woman hysterical for daring to disagree with you

Oh god will you stop with this 'psychological analysis' thing. First hand accounts absolutely and categorically DO give survivors of abuse the right AND ability to contribute. None of whom are doing a bloody psychological analysis! Presumptious or otherwise. So first hand accounts of everything are utterly irrelevant are they? Be careful, as that will get you into serious hot water with people from all walks of life who have experienced abuse, atrocities, the list is endless. Your narrative basically says their experiences are worthless. As you have approximately 10 words in your vocabulary I'd be backing off.

Great post as usual.

Oh and agree with @5128gap, children often fawn over abusive parents as a protection and to keep the peace.

Only an ignorant would dismiss the validity of this.

The thing is what are we disagreeing with? Someone who has used the phrase psychological analysis so many times on this post I think they must be a failed psychology student or something. And also has disdain and disregard for the actual experiences of abuse survivors. An absolute charmer.

Please do

Disdain from inflating the examples in the op to abuse and psychologically analysing a child they’ve never met over the internet.

And as for failed psychology student🙄, because somebody disagrees with you. Yet more inflating ..

🗻

I think OP’s husband might have entered the chat 🙄

He sounds absolutely vile, what a nasty bully 😓

Almost feels that way. Said poster has had my last response; grey rock serves me well enough IRL when dealing with this type 🙄

Of course🙄Heaven forbid anybody disagreeing with posters could be anybody other than the op’s husband.