Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

Interesting, I would MUCH rather not have to be involved in researching the best clothes dryer (or wherever), and I’m happy when my husband takes initiative to get stuff done without involving me in the detail. If we both have a bit of autonomy it saves time on boring tasks.

OP hasn’t told us how her DH and she usually approach purchases, which is relevant in case their usual practice is more like yours (ie carefully discuss all purchases).

I’m still inclined to side with OP’s DH on this one: I think I’d feel stifled if I had to run getting a new ironing board, shoe rack (or whatever) past him.

We don't get involved in the researching as such but just an awareness that the other is researching it and that it is going arrive at the house before it arrives at the house.

Take an ironing board the conversation might go..

This ironing board is useless, I'm going to look for another one

Ok, remember I get 3% at Argos through work

Thanks, I'll compare prices

I've found one in Argos, i can do click and collect or delivery.

If you do click and collect do you want me to pick it up as my boot is bigger and won't have the kids to juggle too?

If you could that would be great.

My partner ordered some wood the other day for a project. He got it delivered for a day I had planned to be at home most of the day. He let me know that it was going to be delivered and the time slot. He pinged me a message when we were going to be the next drop off so I could be prepared to answer the door and get it in. Had I been oblivious to this order and just had a knock on the door at 4pm to someone stacking up wood on the drive I would have been annoyed if I hadn't been told to expect it

In the OP case, all it would have taken for not to be annoyed is "I've been reading about heated airers, they are cheaper to run that the dryer, I've found one at a good price. If I order it now it will be delivered on Tuesday, we can look at selling/thrifting the none heated one, is that ok?"

This is just turning into a much bigger deal than it needs to be.

It's a £40 heated airer. If they don't like it or use it, it can stuck on marketplace and sold. There's no need to for a massive debate and discussion.

This is where we differ, my partner and I would both see that as wasteful both in terms of the finances and the resources gone in to make the product in the first place.

Consumerism is ruining this planet, this it's cheap so it's disposable is driving climate change. As a society we need to be thinking more about our purchases, about what is necessary and buying things designed to last. If more thought was given to purchases we as a nation would spend less, use less precious resources and commit less items to landfill every year.

Something is only a good deal, if you want it, need it, use it and it will last. We need to be making more conscious decisions about what we are buying to ensure we are buying and pushing manufacturers to build things that will last. A heated airer for £40 that does a bad job, will be left in the corner unused is not a better deal than one at £125 that does a good job and will be used for longer. I'd just want to know that it wasn't an impulse purchase and had been researched.

We go as far as talking through what we are wanting to buy with our parents too, I was talking to my mum last year about how we were looking for a new slow cooker as ours is too small for us now. She said they don't use theirs much anymore as it is too big. So we swapped slow cookers. We could have both bought new slow cookers and then sold out old ones but that 3 minute conversation took considerably less time and was free!

Blimey - I'm glad I don't live in your household. What a load of stress and faff over nothing.

This is where we differ, my partner and I would both see that as wasteful both in terms of the finances and the resources gone in to make the product in the first place.

Consumerism is ruining this planet, this it's cheap so it's disposable is driving climate change. As a society we need to be thinking more about our purchases, about what is necessary and buying things designed to last. If more thought was given to purchases we as a nation would spend less, use less precious resources and commit less items to landfill every year.

Something is only a good deal, if you want it, need it, use it and it will last. We need to be making more conscious decisions about what we are buying to ensure we are buying and pushing manufacturers to build things that will last. A heated airer for £40 that does a bad job, will be left in the corner unused is not a better deal than one at £125 that does a good job and will be used for longer. I'd just want to know that it wasn't an impulse purchase and had been researched.

We go as far as talking through what we are wanting to buy with our parents too, I was talking to my mum last year about how we were looking for a new slow cooker as ours is too small for us now. She said they don't use theirs much anymore as it is too big. So we swapped slow cookers. We could have both bought new slow cookers and then sold out old ones but that 3 minute conversation took considerably less time and was free!

we're going to need more info! What was it?

YABU. £40 is nothing.

What would your cut off point be? £20? £10? 50p?

It was one of those big heated clothes airers 😅

We already have a normal airer and a tumble dryer so I just don't see why we needed another one tbh. He said it'll save on drying costs and that we'll use it loads over winter but I think he just saw it online and fancied it.

Its not even the thing itself really, its more that he just ordered it without mentioning it.

No. It's 17 pages long.....if you're that parsimonious to say what it was, it can't have been that important to begin with.

we're going to need more info! What was it?

The OP’s posts are very few. At least read her reply to the question. Click on the bottom right of her post.

Blimey - I'm glad I don't live in your household. What a load of stress and faff over nothing.

It really isn't but we buy very little and what we do buy lasts. We have been together 20 years and still have furniture and things that we bought 15 years ago as we bought carefully, considerately and the best we could afford at the time. We don't buy into fashions so don't have a load of gadgets and gizmos that are used for 4 months and never again.

I have clothes I bought as a 16 year old that I still wear. Rather than buy new we repair until we can't, we have replaced the motor in our vacuum cleaner, a pump in our dishwasher to avoid unnecessary waste. When our dishwasher did permanently break with removed as much as could easily be removed to sell as spares.

Tap Warehouse did a survey in 2020 and found that the homes in the UK have nearly £800 worth of kitchen and lifestyle gadgets that are not used and depending on the item 10-30% had never been used. Those little £40 add up as well as the space items take up.

We are a collective we jointly live in our space and we have equal say on how the space and our finances are used. The length of time it takes to say "I'm looking into this what do you think?" Vs just buying it, finding it's not fixing the problem you thought you had and then listing it for resale is tiny. As well as losing half of its value, the postage /time to go and collect it. We certainly buy less since we moved to a semi rural area and the shops are now a 30 minute drive away.

It's not like it's extra effort either, aside from when at work we spend all of the rest of our time together, it slots into conversation in between do you want a cup of tea and what shall we make for dinner.