Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

Fascinating friendship. You accept a weekly free meal from this person while criticising their generosity. Can I ask why the feed you weekly? Do they feel responsible for you in some way? Do you have access to your own money?

Normally people don't need to spell it out. In your case it seems they did!

So if they had said ‘just get what you like’ and not given a figure would you have spent loads more?

it’s just not polite to accept someone’s generosity and then treat it like an all you can eat

Calling them tight when they just you lunch weekly is so rude.

And you ordered two lunches.

Now given I do believe you have autism, that's not an excuse for your behaviour. When you offer to buy, you need to insist one week. If you did that, how would you feel if they bought two lunches?

Are they a parent-figure to you?

So if you decided to pay for once and your friend checked the budget and you said £20, she went up and came back with 20 bags of crisps, what would you say or think?

Her argument is that she wasn’t actually hungry but does really like crisps so stocked up for a couple of weeks, thanks @MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe .

You might view that differently and think she was a cheeky fucker.

But you didn’t specify what she could buy because it’s usually perfectly obvious that hat you buy one item for lunch when having a hot meal.

This is totally the opposite to what I’d do. Someone else is paying I get the cheapest smallest thing I can find so as not to put them out even if it means I’m hungry or it’s not what I wanted. You don’t take advantage of someone else’s kindness. They probably didn’t put restrictions on it to be polite and you should also be polite not seeing it as an all you can eat up to x value or a company offering free vouchers, this is your friend being overly generous. Also it’s your turn to pay for the next however many times you go out.

People are really piling on here, it’s quite unpleasant to read. OP checked the budget, made an effort to stay under budget, and is now getting a hammering from so many of you. No need for any of this. OP was just looking for a bit of reassurance. I see no problem with two baked potatoes. At all.

Its a limit, not a target , do you see the difference? Ordering two lunches is weird, and i can understand why they thought it was. They are very nice to you, amd you took the piss. They may stop being so nice. Insist on paying for one per month at the very least.

It’s pretty obvious the friend is feeling taken advantage of

From AI one medium sized topped baked potato is about 300 calories. Is that really lunch/dinner to most of you?!

I think what feels weird to most on here is one friend asking a budget to another. But we don’t know the nature of the friendship, so maybe it is fine in context.

But it is also rude to make an offer and then openly criticise someone who takes it up, even if they miss the correct etiquette.

Why don’t you treat them next time by way of an apology

OP, literally asked if she was being unreasonable, and so the responses she has had are fine.

I guess there’s the option not to read the thread if the replies are so unpleasant.

Unless you are a child,I don’t think it’s normal to ask someone what the budget limit is when they are treating you. Normal etiquette would be to have one meal and thank them afterwards (and probably return the favour next time).

But obviously your friend thinks different than you.

If you had said, ‘I fancy jacket potato and I am really hungry - do you mind if I order two?’ They probably would have said, yes that’s fine. But the way you went about it - asking for your food budget from someone who treats you to food every single week, seems grabby. It appears to your very generous benefactor that you are trying to get the most out of their kindness - milking them.
That is why you should not order two meals (even if you think they are not filling, they are still a meal).

It’s like being offered a drink and saying I’ll have a double

it’s rude

But clearly it was a bit of a problem to the friend who was buying.

I think OP needs a bit of steering as to social norms, as she might well piss off this friend and lose them, if she continues to keep taking meals from them and never reciprocating. It's so weird to be asking what budget and never treating back in return.

OP I think you're getting a hard time. It's not like you ordered two fillet steaks with chips and truffle sauce.

Also, everyone has an appetite of a sparrow on here so to be able to eat TWO medium potatoes is shocking 😂

It seems that you take things quite literally and perhaps your friend was having a laugh with you about having two potatoes rather than being annoyed about it.

The only thing I would suggest is insist on paying next time as a nice treat for your friend. And you can order what you like because you are paying ☺️

Rightly or wrongly, it looks greedy. It’s certainly unusual.

Wouldn't a snack be fine? You are not paying and ordering two seems rude tbh.