AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

All these people who are 'so sad' 😂

RTFT people!

Surly that would cut into their mums contract time. All the kids are going on joint holiday in a couple of weeks.

Why would his older DC feel inferior?

He took them to Disney FIRST, last year, with just him.

Either you can't read, or you lack reading comprehension skills.

@Woodfiresareamazing2 , see my post MiaKulper · Yesterday 12:51.

The step-mum's children get one holiday with their mum and dad, with half-siblings given plenty of 1-2-1 with their dad on that holiday.

The step-kids get holiday with their mum, holiday with their dad, and a holiday with dad, step-mum and half-siblings.

He did, he took his two away and the op parented their younger two at home. Are you suggesting he put the younger two in a cupboard and went on holiday? Of course she looked after them and he was contactable while on holiday with his older two.

so many posts on this thread, so little reading comprehension.

That’s so sad.

Indeed. The poor, poor children - only being taken to Disney alone by their father, Spain by their mother and a beach holiday with their half siblings

My heart bleeds

Or were you expressing your sadness at the lack of reading ability and comprehension of so many posters - I agree, that's sad too

I have read the whole thread and my comprehension is fine, you’ve just missed my point.

What I’m saying is that IF whilst he was on that holiday OP had needed him, for some reason, to come back from his holiday urgently and look after his (& her) children, he would have been expected to step up and help. But because these are his children with another woman she’s happy for him to leave them without a second parent when they need him to be present. He’s not “childcare” he is their father and should behave as such. She just resents it spoiling her holiday. It is a crap situation but your holiday doesn’t come before his parenting duty to his children.

It is not mean. It is factual. He was very unreasonable to have two more children when the two he had were barely out of nappies.
His second child was one when he impregnated OP. Even if he had to have a dna on DC2 which I don’t believe, he was still having an active sex life with his wife.
We only have one side of the story and there is no way of knowing if OP is deliberately misleading us that she is a saint and the ex is all over the place.
We do know DP is irresponsible.

That's your take, we don't know that he is irresponsible or the circumstances. You want to attack because it's easy to do so.

The "Wow" is mean and judgey.

Why? Because he's a great dad who prioritises his children over sticking only to what he HAS to pay.

And because the XW has caused issues before over not arranging childcare during her custody time which has negatively impacted the dad.

The week in question is the XW's time with the children, so it is up to her to sort it out.

But this isn't an emergency situation. No-one died, or had an awful accident.

XW's child care for this week has fallen through so she will need to make another plan. Like taking parental leave from work. She has a solution she just doesn't want to do it.

He did - he gave XW extra money for a week of holiday club.

XW didn't book it, and then it was full. (Next time he will book it himself.)

Stepmum (OP) looked after them for that week.
Not her children, but she did it.

XW arranged for her mum to look after them this week. Unfortunately she is ill and can't do it. So XW may have to take parental care leave and do it herself, as Dad and SM are away and not available.

We DON'T "know DH is irresponsible"!

His XW cheated on him whilst she was pregnant! Then moved 3 hours away.
If anyone's irresponsible, she is!

His second child was almost 2 when OP became pregnant.

I don't know why you're telling me this, I already know.

Unlike many MN posters, I at least read all of the updates on a thread before commenting.

Your paragraph re the younger two children's holidays doesn't actually make sense.
The half-siblings DON'T get lots of 1:2:1 time with their dad during the younger children's holiday - they're not there at all.

Younger sibs get a holiday with mum and dad, then a shorter holiday with mum, dad, and half-sibs.

Half-sibs have a holiday with mum, a holiday with dad, and a short holiday with dad, stepmum and younger kids.

LOL
Surely it’s easy to see why it’s her responsibility ?!? It’s during her time AND she knew their dad was out of country AND he even gave her money for the childcare which she then didn’t even bother to book but happily kept the money!

I’d just tell her she needs to spend the money you gave her for childcare on childcare because you’re not in the country to help her this time. And just tell her point blank that the holiday isn’t being cut short .. period

I actually did, that’s still my opinion. The older children going last year is irrelevant, sometimes older kids get time with parents away from younger kids, because their needs are different and the younger ones wouldn’t understand. The two oldest could have been included and it explained the focus would be on the areas most suited to younger ones, because they went last year, surely if they are expected to understand dads gone on holiday with his new kids then they can be expected to understand this. The fact the kids have two family’s isn’t their fault they should be treated equally by both parents. The fact he only has his kids a third of the time too speaks volumes and the extra holiday could at least make up for some of the time he doesn’t spend with them.

I can’t believe you went to Disneyland without all the children that’s just a shitty thing to do. DH should go back and look after his children.

🤦🏻‍♀️

But they don’t need him to parent? There’s no emergency, she just doesn’t want to plan to care for her own children? There’s a saying ‘your disorganisation does not constitute my emergency’ she can discover that it’s inconvenient to have to parent your own children at the times planned for her to parent them when she’d hoped to be able to shove it off onto other people. I’m sure if there were an actual emergency he’d come home, just like he would have if there had been with his younger two when he took the older two away. The mum having to parent her children during her scheduled parenting time is about as far from an emergency as you can get. She literally got away with the exact same shitty parenting the week before, where not only did they send money so she could book childcare but she didn’t book childcare, pocketed the money and sent the children back for the op to care for them. Deadbeat parents could take lessons from her!!

But it isn't urgent - she just hasn't planned and doesn't want to miss work.

If it was actually an emergency they would go home.

The step children in my family are treated the exact same as the children and all holidays include all children.

My children are all from the same parents, and yet we have separate holidays.

It is so weird treating children as one entity.

It is lovely to have 1 on 1 time doing specific stuff and then have the main family holiday together.

Also they are not treated exactly the same. They are treated better.

Your kids have to share everything, the step kids get to go and have another holiday with their other parent without your kids.