AIBU Over Nephew's Wedding?

I would drive up Friday night after your work (presumably BIL/S are off as teachers) and find a cheap Premier Inn to stay (within 2h), drive to the wedding in the morning, stay all day till 11pm and drive to the same or similar PI, sleep, have breakfast Sunday morning and drive home.

Do you live in Kings Lynn or is that where the wedding is? Or Dorset?

i would stay friday and saturday night.

But you’re missing the Sunday relaxed day too? Sorry if I’m misunderstanding that part? There are LOADS of premier inn/airbnb/campsite options in Dorset that would be £100 max per room per night and won’t be an hours drive away after a long day.

The long and short of it is that you should attend if you want to and can, in a way that best suits you.

Ignore people who say finances shouldn't come into it - that's how people get into debt.

I just wouldn't get into it with your brother. Presumably he has had decades to know who you are and if he feels let down over this maybe that is his to deal with since you have stuff going on of your own - it can't just be able what works for them. And whilst I am at it, when did weddings get to be such marathons? I'm sure my parents had a church ceremony followed by afternoon tea. It's got progressively more involved/lengthy since then.

its not dorset. she wrote later that she is actually going to Norfolk for the wedding

Being pedantic Kings Lynn is in Norfolk, close to the Lincolnshire border. Sorry!

Not unreasonable to leave a couple of hours early, but I don't think it's sensible to try driving 7 hours starting at 9pm after a full day at a wedding unless you're all going to share driving. I'd find the nearest travelodge/premier inn/budget place in the direction of home and stay there.

good ol kings lynn

My nephew is lovely but if he didn't invite me to his actual wedding and then expected me to move heaven and earth to get to a vow renewal four months later, spending a ton of cash in the meantime, I would start thinking he was rather less than lovely. Ensuring that there's accommodation for friends only and ignoring family, after ignoring them for the actual wedding..???

Jeez no. I would be RSVPing my regrets, sorry not sorry. What a blimmin cheek!

You weren't in the 60 invited to the wedding, so this doesn't really matter. Do what suits yourself.

How much does your brother expect you to fork out to attend the second tier wedding?
You do whats best for you, money and time wise and do not feel one ounce of guilt. People are becoming so entitled around spending other people's money, as you can see by some of the responses on this thread.

You have more important things to spend your money on, like your children for Gods sake. Tell your brother to mind his own business. The cheek of him.

Your brother is being a dick but I think there's a better solution than missing half the wedding. Why not have 2 nights in the premier inn and then you can stay till 11pm and be in bed by midnight, and go back next morning for Sunday chilling. Driving through the night is a terrible idea.

Im assuming your brother didn't get any say in the guests invited to the first ceremony or who gets to stay in the manor. Perhaps hes a bit upset his family is missing out?

If theyve essentially already had a 60 person wedding might this event be a bit of a damp squib? If I've already been to someones wedding I wouldn't be ecstatic about another whole weekend celebrating with just a gyros van for food. Your nephew is expecting a lot of his guests

On the other hand I dont believe that your only options in Norfolk are a premier inn in kings Lynn or a £1200 Hotel. The bnbs in Norfolk really arent that expensive and driving 7hrs overnight to get home at what 5am in the morning is madness! How much is a days unpaid leave and a whole nights missed sleep costing you?

Kings Lynn is in Norfolk - not Dorset!

yes thats already been written multiple times.

op obviously changed identifying information in her OP.....then forgot and wrote the real place

Another vote for not driving through the night, it would be like just waiting to leave.

Book the nearest accommodation you can afford for Saturday night and drive home first thing Sunday.
I must say OP you and Sis are taking this really well considering you weren't invited to the actual wedding, and weren't reserved accommodation at the September venue , yet you are grooms only relatives on his Dad's side, and BIL driving all that way, hats off to him.

Kings Lynn is a dump

Christ sorry - I only read the OPs post!

Can you not stay to the end of the wedding then go to your accommodation on the main night? Your daughter can catch up her sleep the night after. Then it wouldnt matter where you stayed as you wouldnt be missing any of it.

Was the £1200 to stay at Sandringham? LOL

Event at a fancy manor house and the food is from a gyros van?!