AIBU Over Nephew's Wedding?

I think it’s a terrible idea to leave at 9pm on the night of the wedding! how can you relax and enjoy yourselves knowing that you’ve got a 7 hour journey ahead whilst wearing all your wedding gear? You HAVE to stay another night, you’ll thank yourselves massively.

Also have you looked properly at local accommodation? Airbnbs etc? I don’t understand why it’s £150 per person, not per room?

1st September is a Tuesday isn’t it? Is that when your secondary schools start? 31st August is a bank holiday.

it might take the rush to travel back to be ready for the Monday out of the equation?

Oh I don’t know, I think it’s up to the couple, and I can see why they’d book for their friends,

lets face it, the op certainly doesn’t need to get up at 4am and get ready as she’s making out, she could easily have booked a very cheap room within 2 hours of fne location, stayed the night before, then booked to stay the night of, closer, for not much more money.

and I’d really not want to leave at 9 and drive through the night, she thinks it’s better for her daughter, it’s clearly worse as she will have lost a nights sleep and be exhausted, no one sleeps in a car well,

What i dont understand is why accomodation at the actual event was only booked for friends? I would have thought family would be the priority here? You were left out from the 1st celebration and not thought about regarding accomodation for the second event. Do what fits in with you and sod your brother! As long as you are there at the actual event that's all that matters. Tell brother, if they had reserved accomodation for you and your sister at the event in the middle of nowhere you wouldn't have this issue!

I’m afraid I’d also not have done this, I think it’s ridiculous

id hace found cheap accommodation within 2 hours away, say 50 quid a night, and stayed the sat night in closer accommodation

@MommaGriff

What a storm in a teacup!!

OP, sounds like you did the best you could in the circumstances. They’re being ungrateful and selfish, spoiled brats.

I think their (in my opinion) excessive reaction to your slightly shaved off attendance is their guilt projecting for not having included you to the main event!

Come again?

Renewal Ceremony- WTF they’ve been married what three months.

Seen you coming OP. They’re feeling guilty because they prioritised friends before family for their ‘small’ ha! wedding and people are commenting about lack of family in the wedding photos.

The photographer shouting bride and grooms family please and there’s deafening silence. Embarrassing or what? Guests privately thinking a big fall-out the reason no family there.

Id tell gorgeous son to eff off. No present either.

If I'm being charitable I think your brother was taken by surprise. He should be able to find other people to talk to or a job to do for the last couple of hours.

You could stay overnight in a Premier Inn on the Sat night, not telling your brother and start the drive home at first light - which should get you relatively quiet roads. Or even leave at 9pm drive 2-3 hours towards home and then stop overnight. Also do check the position re roadworks - driving through the night doesn't save time when the roads you want are closed for overnight roadworks. Is your brother in law the only driver? Makes more sense to be able to swap drivers on a journey that long.

We said no gifts (but optional donations to charities close to us) - would have done regardless. Some guests brought gifts anyway.

Ah yes… yet another detail that doesn’t quite ring true

I presume there were no gifts as it was basically just a party?

DH and I got married a couple of months ahead of our big party. Tiny registry office ceremony then back to ours for some drinks (and accidentally a small party). The legal formality wasn't the point for us, the big party was. I didn't want 100+ people looking at me while I got married, but I wanted to celebrate with them all.

Luckily no one in my life is offended by the idea of being invited to a party that isn't a wedding.

I am confused slightly.

Do you mean they are getting married in May then having a party in September?

It seems a lot of a faff and expense to attend a party that isn't a wedding.

The thing with other people’s weddings is that they are exactly that. It’s the one occasion that people can organise however they want, where they want, invite who they want and exclude who they want.

The invitees can also attend or not.

I don’t understand why on MN that is a strange concept.

Agree.
The wedding was in May and he didn't bother inviting his aunt and cousin.
60 people plus is not a smal wedding by any stretch of the imagination.

60 people with 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen is not intimate.

So OP’s been invited to the B list event. Sounds really poorly organised IMO.

DB is being an entitled arse. I'd be v pissed off to not be invited to the not so small May event and then have him whining about your plans for the secondary wedding. You're making a huge effort to attend around a big first day for your DD. Never mind the expense of outfits, travel, gifts etc!
Tell him to give his head a wobble!

I think your brother is BU as you are all making the effort to attend and you can leave whenever you like.

But I don't really understand the logic of your choices so I can kind of see where he is coming from.

I don't understand why you can't just stay in the cheaper accommodation both nights if you're planning to drive in any case.

And I don't understand why anyone would think than staying up all night on Saturday to do a long drive through the night is in any way a good way of setting anyone up for Monday morning. Surely it would be better to get a good night's sleep in a hotel and drive back early on Sunday morning? You would all be better rested that way and you'd still have Sunday evening to get sorted for school.

Unless she’s missing an inset day? But I get your point

In some areas the primary and secondaries have slightly different term dates.

Is your brother also annoyed with his other sister? The one doing the same travel arrangements as you?

And both you and your sister have identical tight budgets?

The OP won’t do this

I mean the sister is having her first day back as a school teacher on the Monday allegedly, but has also taken unpaid leave on the Friday. If this is even real, the 1st day back thing is clearly bs