AIBU Over Nephew's Wedding?

Christ sorry - I only read the OPs post!

Kings Lynn is a dump

Another vote for not driving through the night, it would be like just waiting to leave.

Book the nearest accommodation you can afford for Saturday night and drive home first thing Sunday.
I must say OP you and Sis are taking this really well considering you weren't invited to the actual wedding, and weren't reserved accommodation at the September venue , yet you are grooms only relatives on his Dad's side, and BIL driving all that way, hats off to him.

yes thats already been written multiple times.

op obviously changed identifying information in her OP.....then forgot and wrote the real place

Kings Lynn is in Norfolk - not Dorset!

Im assuming your brother didn't get any say in the guests invited to the first ceremony or who gets to stay in the manor. Perhaps hes a bit upset his family is missing out?

If theyve essentially already had a 60 person wedding might this event be a bit of a damp squib? If I've already been to someones wedding I wouldn't be ecstatic about another whole weekend celebrating with just a gyros van for food. Your nephew is expecting a lot of his guests

On the other hand I dont believe that your only options in Norfolk are a premier inn in kings Lynn or a £1200 Hotel. The bnbs in Norfolk really arent that expensive and driving 7hrs overnight to get home at what 5am in the morning is madness! How much is a days unpaid leave and a whole nights missed sleep costing you?

Your brother is being a dick but I think there's a better solution than missing half the wedding. Why not have 2 nights in the premier inn and then you can stay till 11pm and be in bed by midnight, and go back next morning for Sunday chilling. Driving through the night is a terrible idea.

How much does your brother expect you to fork out to attend the second tier wedding?
You do whats best for you, money and time wise and do not feel one ounce of guilt. People are becoming so entitled around spending other people's money, as you can see by some of the responses on this thread.

You have more important things to spend your money on, like your children for Gods sake. Tell your brother to mind his own business. The cheek of him.

You weren't in the 60 invited to the wedding, so this doesn't really matter. Do what suits yourself.

My nephew is lovely but if he didn't invite me to his actual wedding and then expected me to move heaven and earth to get to a vow renewal four months later, spending a ton of cash in the meantime, I would start thinking he was rather less than lovely. Ensuring that there's accommodation for friends only and ignoring family, after ignoring them for the actual wedding..???

Jeez no. I would be RSVPing my regrets, sorry not sorry. What a blimmin cheek!

good ol kings lynn

Not unreasonable to leave a couple of hours early, but I don't think it's sensible to try driving 7 hours starting at 9pm after a full day at a wedding unless you're all going to share driving. I'd find the nearest travelodge/premier inn/budget place in the direction of home and stay there.

Being pedantic Kings Lynn is in Norfolk, close to the Lincolnshire border. Sorry!

its not dorset. she wrote later that she is actually going to Norfolk for the wedding

Ignore people who say finances shouldn't come into it - that's how people get into debt.

I just wouldn't get into it with your brother. Presumably he has had decades to know who you are and if he feels let down over this maybe that is his to deal with since you have stuff going on of your own - it can't just be able what works for them. And whilst I am at it, when did weddings get to be such marathons? I'm sure my parents had a church ceremony followed by afternoon tea. It's got progressively more involved/lengthy since then.

But you’re missing the Sunday relaxed day too? Sorry if I’m misunderstanding that part? There are LOADS of premier inn/airbnb/campsite options in Dorset that would be £100 max per room per night and won’t be an hours drive away after a long day.

The long and short of it is that you should attend if you want to and can, in a way that best suits you.

i would stay friday and saturday night.

I would drive up Friday night after your work (presumably BIL/S are off as teachers) and find a cheap Premier Inn to stay (within 2h), drive to the wedding in the morning, stay all day till 11pm and drive to the same or similar PI, sleep, have breakfast Sunday morning and drive home.

Do you live in Kings Lynn or is that where the wedding is? Or Dorset?

Two nights in a cheap hotel as close to the venue as you can afford 1-2 hours away.

drive most of the way Friday, sleep. dress in finery and drive last bit Saturday. Stay for full wedding and head off at end, good sleep and back on the way ready for school on Monday.

I do think leaving early to drive through the night a bit dramatic.

Would you want to stay for two nights if you could find anything for far less than £1200? If so, have you thought outside the box, rather than just hotels? Dorset is a holiday place. Depending on where the venue is, you could stay in a caravan for example in Haven, Rockley Park, Poole. Or you could probably rent an AirBnb for 4 of you for two nights for around £600. I don't suppose you want to mention the venue, but if you did, someone might have suggestions for cheaper accommodation.

Of course, if you all want to only stay one night, then your brother will just have to suck it up.

Edited to ask if I have misunderstood where the September event is being held.

This is a bit of a sideways post but if you're near Kings Lynn and that's my neck of the woods then there are lots of lovely camping spots with mobile Homes etc which may work out cheaper and closer to the venue- pm me if I can help

Kings Lynn is north Cambridgeshire.

The venue is in Dorset?!? That's more than 50 mins...

Just camp somewhere local!

I’m afraid I agree with this. Two big wedding events months apart feels grabby. And an expensive stay (why were only friends offered discounted rooms?) plus 14 hours of driving is nuts.

Your brother is being very unreasonable- maybe he sees how silly the wedding events are and is embarrassed. Maybe he is caught up in the entitlement.

I think your plan sounds fine, I would just ignore any digs from your brother….
At this time of year most of us don’t have extra cash to splash around after funding holiday childcare, I’ve also just had to kit out one for secondary school (I think my bank account is still crying 🥴)
Your brother is trying to make you feel bad, I’m sure your nephew will appreciate you being there for the main part.

Definitely stay Friday and Saturday night somewhere 2ish hours away. Then you can stay later on the night. Problem solved.