AIBU to think marrying after eight months is not always rash?

I don’t think most people will actually care OP. People make conversation and marrying quite quickly is something to comment on for some people. I wouldn’t give them too much though as they won’t actually think about it much. You seem to want validation that you have done the right thing and I do wonder why that is.

I think it’s a gamble to be honest, because even the worst most horrible abusive people can put up a front for more than 8 months. Someone can be an angel for 8 months and then your worst nightmare at 3 or 4 years, not to say that is everyone obviously but that would be my concern if a friend was wanting to marry someone after only 8 months of dating.

I think it’s just something to talk about. I doubt they think much about it when the conversation is done. If you’re happy then just enjoy life and time will tell as it does for every relationship.

It is quick by modern standards but i don't think it was rash. When you know, you know. I would have married my dh after 8 months if he had proposed. Our first Christmas together, when we had known each other 4 months, I was convinced he would propose. He didn't. He made me wait another 3 years. But I always knew he was the right man for me and I think he knew I was the right woman for him but he was young and not settled in his career and kids would have come too soon for him so he made me wait. My parents met him within a couple of months though, whats the big deal about that?!

It’s easy when life is going well for you both. The true test of how strong and committed a relationship is comes when life gets tough, Will they be there and support you if you get sick, loose a parent etc.

I was with my first husband 5 years before we got married and I still never guessed at what a selfish twat he would turn out to be but I was young. I think the age at which you get married makes far more difference to the outcome than how long you have known someone. I make far better decisions now I know who I am and what shouldn’t be compromised on.

It works for some and not for others, of course after 8 months you don’t truly know the person completely. But when you are hitting mid to late 30s then as women, we know our biological clock is ticking, there isn’t the same time to wait. Therefore it is often quicker, because it has to be - for some it’s rash but who cares they have their children, and others it’s happily ever after!

Seems to be working for you so why do you care what other people think? If a friend of mine got married after 8 months I’d be a bit concerned it was quick but it’s their call. Nothing to do with anyone else.

I agree @mustreadmorebooks

Come back in another 15 years to say you're still happily married and made the right decision.
I don't thing 4 years is long enough yet to be making this announcement.

I met and married DH in 11 months. Older and wiser. So far so good 😊

It’s a gamble at any stage . You will get people on here who lived with someone 7 years, got married with a couple of kids and then divorced within 3 years, just as much as people married after 7 months still married after 25 years

I met my DH at mutual friends wedding. He proposed a week later. I told him to wait but he did it the week after and I accepted. We got married 14 months later, 35 years ago. We were both 28 then.

I think it's rash.

But I also think it can work out.

I met him in March and we married in October the same year. That was 30 years ago. Still married.

If it has worked out well for you, great. I would however be very concerned if my sister moved that quickly.

My own personal experience was a fast moving relationship (moved in together within 6 months) that turned abusive after 2-3 years. That's not always the case, but it has made me very cagey.

Of course it’s rash. Dreadful, scary, dangerous men can pretend for a few months.

I was rash. It worked out. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t rash.

I agree.

You haven't had the chance to see how they react to the ups and downs of life and whether these things will push you closer together or pull you apart.

If it lasts long term then that's great but it's more down to luck than because you 'just knew'. Plenty of people think they 'know its the one' then split up a year later when they've got to know each other a bit more.

Being together for longer (or through some difficulties) before marriage isn't a guarantee of happiness but I'm sure it gives you a better chance, because you know each other that bit better/deeper, so you can be more sure.

Having said that OP its great that you're happy, but if you don't like people commenting on it, maybe don't tell them how soon it was for you? People do love to have an opinion on everything.

It's just luck at this stage. We were at the other end of the scale, 12 years before we got around to it.

Of the couples whose weddings we attended that subsequently got divorced, two thirds had been together under 2 years when they got married, and got divorced in the first 5 years of marriage.

My anecdotal evidence is longer together before getting married, up to around a plateau of 6 or 7 years, the longer it lasted. But the plural of anecdote isn't data, I know.

I wish you both a happy and joyful life together. After a few years no one gives a toss how quickly or slowly it happened anyway.

I think if you were both 18 it would have been rash but I think less so, once you get into your 30s and beyond. In your 30s upward, you’ve usually had a couple of relationships and have a clear idea of what you want (and don’t want). Also as you wanted children, there really wasn’t much time to hang about.

I’m really glad it’s working out for you - I also don’t think it’s anyone else’s business! If anyone judges you, tell them to pack it in. :)

Yours is a normal story. This is just good, how it should be. Your colleague, who is '40 and would really like to meet someone', has left it dangerously late, being a woman.

I'm not sure you can know everything about a person in eight months, or if you do know everything you need to know it must have been in the form of many many questions and answers rather than finding out organically, and I think maybe people are more honest in how they act (how they behave with money, how they behave with children, how they would bring children up, how they see their future, how they behave under pressure, how they behave when you are ill, how they behave when they are ill, etc) than how they answer a question.